Deanna Doss Shrodes

This may just be the strangest thing that has EVER happened to me in an elevator. Why am I including an elevator story among the "True Church Stories" series ? Because I include things in this series that go on in the course of ministering in the "church world", not just in the church building or office. In addition to pastoring at our church I also travel and speak. The past few years I've traveled an average of about one weekend a month doing that. Many times I've been asked to speak about marriage. In fact, at our district Experience Conference, I've taught the session on married sexuality for many years. I asked not to have that assignment this past year, because I was kind of tired of being known as "the sex lady" at least as that particular conference is concerned. I enjoy teaching about biblical sexuality, but I also like to share on a plethora of other topics. So... At a women's conference years ago here in Florida, I was as...

Songs of worship continued as people streamed forward to receive personal prayer from the pastors and prayer team. This is customary in our church services as we believe in divine healing and miracles and we pray for them. My husband Larry, the lead pastor, was going from person to person, anointing their heads with oil and praying over their needs. As he approached one man, the gentlemen leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Pray for me, pastor. I've been struggling a lot with diarrhea." Larry leaned in and said, "okay... do you want me to bind it, or loose it?" I can't remember what the guy's answer was, as all I have remembered over the years is what my husband said. Either way, it's hilarious. In case you've landed upon this series for the first time, you might notice it's story number 41. I share 40 other "True Church Stories" from our pastoral ministry. Just go to this link and you can enjoy all of them. Many people ...

Years ago here at the church we now pastor we hosted an event for women that specifically focused on married love. As the women came in there were mannequins dressed in wedding gowns, and a beautiful wedding cake at the center of the room, and bridal bouquets were the centerpieces. It was a lovely night and the place was packed with women eager to hear my message about what the Bible says about the blessings of married love. After the message we featured a panel discussion/question and answer session. The ladies asked a lot of candid questions and we did our best to answer them. I was delighted by how some of the older, even elderly women, contributed with their advice. One lady who was in her eighties (we'll call her Sis. Blanche), shared a memory with the women from the early days of marriage. She said, "Girls, back in the day we would go to the beauty shop once a week to get our hair done. We'd get our hair teased and styled up and sprayed real good. Then we...

A few readers requested that I share more of these and Lord knows I've got enough of 'em to write about til' the cows come home! So here we go.  If you've missed the previous 38 of these gems, just click the link at the bottom of the post that says True Church Stories to read them. If you're in need of a laugh, this series of blog posts will keep you going for quite a while.  This one comes from an Easter Sunday experience a few years ago at the church we currently pastor. This unbelievable story actually took several months to unfold in it's entirety. It all began on Easter Sunday when a new couple decided to visit the church. They came in about 30 minutes early and sat in the back of the church. As they were sitting there amongst the people, my husband walked by. He was dressed in a brand new suit - very trendy for that particular year - it was powder blue and he looked great. My husband is a sharp dresser who always wears nice clothes and shoes. He actua...

This true story in the "True Church Stories" series comes from the Experience Conference this past weekend.  In addition to being privileged to share in the opening general session Friday morning I also was asked to teach a workshop on both Friday and Saturday afternoon entitled, "Hot and Holy Matrimony." Both times this workshop was packed, and this afternoon we even had people sitting on the floor so many had interest in this topic.  I'm just setting the tone for you here that a lot of people evidently have interest in "Hot and Holy Matrimony"!!  ::smiles:: To further set the stage, I was rolling full steam ahead in teaching, and due to the volume of material I had to present, we had no time for a question/answer session.  If someone said something during this particular session, it would be classified as an interruption.  Some who were actually in the session later referred to the interruption as "heckling" but I'll let you decide. ...

I've omitted all names in this post for anyone who might want to remain anonymous. Last night the topic for our Fusion service at Celebration was Toxic Health and what the Bible says about it.  (Yes, God does give us clear direction in His Word to be good stewards of our bodies.)  After I taught on the subject we divided into groups to discuss/pray about it.  I usually visit a different fusion group every week.  The group I visited this week never disappoints - they have fantastic discussion and lots of fun. One lady shared with the group that she has insomnia and her health is really affected by it.  She doesn't know what to do about it.  A man in the group says, "I'll tell you how to solve it!  You need to spoon with your husband!" "What's that?" she said. And with a surprised reaction he said, "spooning?  You don't know what spooning is?" [insert lots of laughter here from the fusion group] And she shyly says, "No, I...

It's been a while since I've posted any of my "true church stories".  This is a running series here on the blog and if you want to catch up on the 35 stories that preceded this, just go here .  Some friends tell me it's some of the funniest material they've ever read. Are they just humoring me? You decide. So today the thought came to me it's been a while since I've shared one of these and I thought some of my readers might enjoy a chuckle on this manic Monday.  This story actually comes from an AG sectional minister's  meeting years ago here in Tampa.  Now let me say that if you live in Tampa and are sharing that  you are a resident of such I have been informed by many that the proper way to introduce oneself would be as a "Tampanian."  Evidently a certain minister's wife was not informed of this fact, bless her heart. On the evening of this minister's meeting the person hosting the meeting asked everyone present to go around...

Okay, this may just be the most BIZARRE church story EVER!  I told you it was coming!  This one happened to me on the Cayman Islands trip.  Thank God there was a witness to this, otherwise nobody would believe it.  My husband even said, "Only YOU Deanna, only YOU!!!" At the end of the last service in the Caymans our team was ministering around the altars.  I was with a lady at the altar who I would guesstimate was in her late seventies.  We were standing there at the altar and my friend Wendy who also ministered on the speaker team was with us.  This lady was going on and on saying, "Thank God for these messages this weekend from you all! This is what the church today around the world needs!  Not milk!  They need meat!  I have been so blessed!"   After a while, we were saying our goodbyes and she turned to Wendy and said, "God bless you sister, you've been such a blessing!" and she hugged her.  Then she turned to me, ...

My husband and I were youth/music pastors for 7 years before we became lead pastors.   (Since we served at 3 churches, the location of where this happened will remain undisclosed.)   I was "called on the carpet" when the pastor somberly called me in one day and let me know he had something to discuss with me.  My heart was beating a little faster than normal.  I had no idea why I was being called in and couldn't imagine what it was about.  There was nothing I was doing that would warrant him being upset --I had not failed to meet any of his expectations that I was aware of.  We went into his office and shut the door.  The next thing that came out of his mouth was one of the most shocking things I had ever been accused of. "Deanna, this is about your use of the F-word with the youth group." Oh my stars. My heart was racing at least twice as fast and I was feeling relieved in one sense (because I knew in my heart I had not done such a thing) y...

The reality show, "My Strange Addiction" on TLC jarred my memory for this true church story, when my daughter Savanna told me about a lady who was on the show that was addicted to eating couches.  Crazy!  You just ask yourself how someone even gets past the first bite without hurling!  One time we were having a church dinner and the lady who decorated for the event had set out bowls of colorful potpourri in the center of the tables as a centerpiece. Imagine our shock to notice that another lady at the church had sat down at one of the tables and eaten almost an entire bowl of potpourri waiting for the event to start, thinking it was the appetizer for the evening.   Yes, I am serious. The only thing that stopped her was a man who came and sat down at the table, noticed what she was doing and astonished, asked her why in the world she was eating potpourri.   She told him she didn't realize what it was and thought it was a food item to get start...

This is a more recent true church story...it occurred a few months ago during one of our Sunday morning worship rehearsals with the band, frontline singers and choir.   We were in the midst of a rehearsal and my oldest son Dustin was leading a song on his guitar.  Suddenly I noticed that his zipper was all the way down.  So I discreetly went over and whispered, "Son, your zipper is down."  And instead of him responding in kind and discreetly pulling it up, with a completely straight face he proceeded to announce over the microphone,   "Mother, I planned it that way.  I like to wear my zipper down."  (You have to understand my son is a total comedian.  He does NOT like to wear his zipper down nor did he intend to, he was just being funny.  It worked.  The whole worship ministries team busted out laughing when he said this.) I had the last word, however.  When he said what he did, I turned around and announced, "Well son, I sugges...

This story is from...YESTERDAY! Back in November my friend Candy asked me why I was still wearing my boots all the time when they were obviously on their last legs, pardon the pun. (They were in very poor shape.  Max has even chewed on them, bless his heart.  However I had not gotten around to replacing them and in wintertime I wear my high heeled black boots with almost everything on a daily basis.)  I was delighted on Christmas Eve to have friends Candy and Sue corner me after communion and say, "we have a gift for you..." and when I opened it among other things there were a new pair of high heeled black boots from Charlotte Russe.  Only one thing...although my size, these particular boots were a little bit too tight.  Being that I want to wear them all the time during this time of the year I knew if they weren't really comfortable -- I wouldn't.  So, I said, "can we check for one size bigger?"  Candy said she'd be glad to and took them back to exc...

Today I'm telling a true church story in honor of a sweet young woman at our church, Julie Lechner.  Her grandmother died yesterday and she's very down about this loss, as can be expected.  Yesterday I consoled her and prayed with her -- and today I'm going to try and say something to brighten her day.  Being that she absolutely loves the "True Church Stories" and reads all of them I thought I'd write one today in her honor.   Julie, this one's for you.   Sometimes people call into the church office and ask strange questions.  Anybody who's ever worked at a church can tell you, you never know what you're going to get on the other end of that phone.  I can't even repeat some of the questions people have asked me -- quite honestly they'd be inappropriate to repeat.  But this was a particularly interesting exchange with a surprise ending -- one that had me real embarrassed. Three things you should know to set up this story: There are a...

Here's another real life illustration of my husband's amazing quick wit. Our church ( Celebration Church , Tampa) is very involved in outreach to the homeless, unemployed and working poor.  We have what we call our "Recovery Service" every Saturday where we provide a hot meal to all attenders as well as groceries for the week, and clothing and shoes for those in need.  We reach out and minister to countless people in Tampa who need help in this regard. One thing that we do not have currently is assistance in the way of housing.  We know that this is a need and thankfully there are ministries in our city meeting this need.  We generally refer those who inquire to those places that are equipped in this regard to help them.  We've had many people inquire about "staying in the church" but of course we can't allow people to be spending the night in the church, if for safety or liability reasons alone.  I say all this to say -- please understand we do ...

I said I'd be back after the holidays with more of these true church stories!   I always deliver what I promise, so here we are. My hometown is Baltimore, Maryland -- home of the best seafood ever, topped with plenty of Old Bay .  I grew up literally right on the Chesapeake Bay and enjoyed Maryland steamed crabs all my life growing up.    I'm a seafood lover to the max and thankfully I married one so it's something we enjoy together.  Back when Larry and I were pastoring in Maryland we would often treat our guests to some seafood, particularly traveling evangelists who were with us for a time of ministry.  If they were with us any length of time we'd set aside a special day/evening to enjoy steamed crabs, corn on the cob, fresh sliced tomatoes...especially  in the summertime...oh my!  This is a little bit of heaven on earth.  Well... One time we were having a week of revival services with an evangelist and his wife from South Africa....

It was an extremely hot summer day back when we first started pastoring our church in Maryland, and I told my husband I was going upstairs to our room to take a shower.  The family room was also upstairs in this particular house we lived in. that was a split level house.  I said, "Larry, I don't want to get dressed right away after I shower.  It's so hot and I just want to cool off, so please take the kids outside, let them play and after a while when I get dressed I will come downstairs and let you guys know."  He had no problem with doing this and in fact we had a huge yard outside - the boys were playing on the swings and he was just out there being Super Dad.  Until... While I was in the shower our Sunday School Superintendent, Susan Morgan, called and asked him if she could stop by because she had a flyer to show him about the upcoming kids outreach she was working on and she wanted to go over a few things.  He said, "sure I'm just outside with the b...

He's probably going to kill me for posting this.  Well, not kill me but he will at least say, "what in the world were you thinking?" and might make me delete it after I post it.  So if you're reading this consider yourself one of the blessed ones who managed to read before my husband orders me to zap this off of here. Years ago Larry and I were preaching a revival for our dear friends, Pastors Randy and Dawn Visconti, at the church where they were pastoring in Kansas at the time.  God was really doing some great things that week and Larry was preaching his heart out on the last night.  He was getting quite worked up and shouting and at a high point in the message he was walking across the stage and excitedly shouting into the microphone and what he meant to say was, "this church is experiencing a whole new direction!"  Instead he said, "This church is experiencing a whole new erection!" Randy and Dawn and I were on the front row listening to th...

My husband NEVER asks any woman when her baby is due.  Ever.  Not even if she's obviously pregnant.  He just won't go there. He has this policy because years ago when pastoring our first church he and I were standing at the back doors greeting people and a lady came through who looked pregnant.  Her overall body was very small, in fact from the back she just looked like a skinny woman.  But in front her stomach protruded so much, almost like a basketball, that she looked very pregnant.  As she was coming through Larry said, "Oh, when are you expecting?"  She looked very offended and said, "Expecting WHAT??!!" Knowing him he probably shot back something like, "Expecting God to do something in you life," or something like that to get him out of that mess. After church he said, "I will never ask any woman that question again no matter how pregnant she looks."  Conversely this has  resulted in some strange looks when he meets genuinely ...

Years ago here at our church in Tampa there was a woman who thought she could sing well. I'm sure you have one of those in your church too.  (Smile) She insisted on singing "O Holy Night" for Christmas time and kept hounding our music pastor about an opportunity to sing.  The music pastor  knew better than to put her up there on a Sunday morning but at the time we had Sunday night services and so he scheduled her for a Sunday night and hoped since this was the faithful cream of the crop in attendance, they would be more understanding.  She didn't just repeatedly stalk the music pastor about the fact that she thought she could sing -- she pretty much did it with anybody in earshot.  She would have made an amazing American Idol contestant -- you know, the funniest ones who think they can sing and are woefully offended when someone tells them they can't.  In the church it's an especially sticky situation when someone is convinced that singing solos is thei...

This story concerns an older woman named Doris who attended our church in Maryland.  A problem arose within just a few times of her attending.  Right in the midst of the most sacred part of the service as we were singing intimately to God in worship, she would literally let out a scream like a siren.  It would start real low, and then she would just wail...gradually in a crescendo type sound.  (I can imitate it perfectly and have much to some people's amusement over the years, but this is a blog so you'll just have to imagine the sound.)  Picture an ambulance as it's far away and then getting closer and you will have a good idea of what she sounded like.  She claimed this was part of her pentecostal heritage and that it was a "gift" she shared with the church as she was in worship.  [sigh] This all happened when we were very young pastors in our early twenties and we were not as experienced by far in dealing with things like this whether it be use of...