Deanna Doss Shrodes

This week we've been on vacation near my hometown and also the place where we pastored for ten years.  Each time we return, we have the privilege of enjoying a gathering with those we formerly pastored for ten years, at the church here. Tonight there's a special event -- a dessert and coffee fellowship, to share and catch up. We are always so excited to reconnect. It's been eleven years since we moved to pastor in Tampa, and yet these folks remain precious in our hearts, never forgotten. We had some amazing years together - memories none of us will never forget. We reminisce a lot at the gatherings when we return, and I'm sure there will be a lot of that going on tonight. Speaking of that, I just noticed that yesterday, Enrichment Journal published this article I wrote for their summer edition: Leading People Through Change Without Losing Them . The situation I reference in the article happened when we were pastoring the Maryland church.   I share about how we can...

Today I looked through some old Christmas photos and came upon this one from 2006. We had been in our new home for just a year or two and the kids were still so young. Old pictures bring tears to my eyes. It seems we blink, and they grow up. I got to thinking as well about things I'm still dealing with that I said I'd change. All in all it's a wonderful life, but quite honestly there are things I've never changed that I should have. I'm determined this is my year, somehow, some way, it's going to be different come this time next year.  It's on my mind a lot as 2013 nears. If I can pull this off it will be one of the greatest gifts I've ever given myself. What do you want to give yourself in 2013?  

"Depression hung over me like a black cloud...and it was hard to find my way out at the time..." These were my words during a sermon a few years ago and afterwards a lady rushed up to me and said, "you mean YOU were actually depressed? Because I can't even imagine that. You seem so...together... " Truth be told, all of us go through hard times. And all of us have rotten days. Me included. I happen to be having a good day today. But a while back I was having an absolutely horrible day. And because so many people seem to think people like me never have bad days like they do, I got the brilliant idea, "I'm going to video record my bad day!!!" Yes, I know that's kind of bizarre but I have a passion to share transparently with people.That's why this blog is about transparently leading and relating from a faith perspective. So I did what was for me, a courageous thing. I recorded scenes during 24 hours...even waking up in the morni...

We often focus on how others irritate us, but do we consider how we may be irritating others? Thursday morning I was on a flight to San Diego, seated next to an older married couple. I'll start by saying something positive about them. They seemed so happy and doted on one another. That was where my admiration started and ended. I followed "the rules" of the ride (turned cell phone off when asked to, put away all electronic devices until otherwise instructed, fastened seat belt) but some others didn't do it so quickly. The couple took it upon themselves to loudly instruct others to do what was really only the flight crew's place to do. I could hardly believe my ears when they started ranting over one woman not shutting her cell phone down quickly enough after the announcement was made. But the ride was just getting started... For several hours I endured the idiosyncrasies of my seat mates. The first thing they did was put on their Bose soundproof headpho...

Do you ever have days where you can’t remember what the name of the thing you use to attach papers together is? (Stapler) Do you draw a blank when you look at your own family members and you try to remember their names…and you aren’t 85 years old, you’re 45? I understand. Maybe it’s time for a change of scenery.     Not a move across the country and nothing earth shattering or major, but a change of scenery even for just a few hours or a few days. I understand.  Larry got us this place for the first few days of our vacation that is honestly not much more than staying in an economy motel room but it’s exquisite! This is the view from our balcony where I’m eating breakfast this morning…   Savanna found herself a special spot to sit and think for a while in a tree…  Sometimes we just need to look at things from a different angle. My good friend Sue Duffield talked about that this week in one of her “drive by devotionals...

My husband walked into our bedroom late one night in the year 2000, and handed me a book as I was lying in bed. The book was entitled, Who Moved My Cheese...An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and In Your Life , by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard. I read about two chapters of the book and got so angry, I threw the book across the room. It slammed against the wall and fell behind my husband's dresser where it stayed for the next year. I was mad. So mad. Angry at unwanted and unwelcome change in my life.  Railing out about unfair circumstances. Larry let the book stay behind the dresser without saying anything. He quietly prayed for me for the next year, waiting patiently for me to come around.  He's always known who had the power to get through to me when he couldn't. Larry says, "When I can't get through to my wife about something, I've always had reassurance that it's going to be okay because I married a woman of God who prays. ...

Are you throwing away your choices?  You do have to go through change whether you like it or not, but you have a choice as to how you're going to respond.  If you listen to a word I'm saying today here on post please listen to this: You. Are. Not. Powerless. Okay, that was four words. But they were powerful words. There are three reasons I believe change is harder for some people: 1) They are afraid of what people might think. 2) They are afraid of what people might say. 3) They are afraid of what people might do. So they just let change relentlessly beat them up, with no counter-response to the change that has been thrust upon them.   So, are you ready to move through change and do more than just survive? Then you're going to have to stop being paralyzed by those three things and take whatever counter-steps you need to make for your emotional health. You've got to manage your health in the midst of whatever change you're going through.  No one...

This may be the key that has helped me through difficult change more than anything else.  Everyone needs a private life with God and one great way to express yourself in this relationship is to write letters to Him, and then let Him write back to you. How does he "write back to you"? This happens by getting quiet, listening for Him to speak to your heart, and then writing down whatever He says. I differentiate Him speaking in my journal by giving a different heading to His communication with me such as this... June 20, 2012 Today the Lord says... Then underneath this heading I write whatever I hear Him saying. After this I give a new heading to my communication before I begin writing my thoughts again. Doing this gives you a place to express your thoughts and receive from Him as well as keep a record of where you've come from. Having a record of things makes some people nervous, which is why I highly advise an online journal that is password protected. My advi...

The biggest choice people throw away is the choice to manage themselves. How often do other people make a choice that affects you, and you respond by drowning yourself in all the wrong things? I've done it too many times to count.  Every person has the right to manage their own health. This is about making the best decision for yourself. This might include (but is not limited to) eating right, sleeping adequately, solitude, taking vitamins, seeking natural treatments , taking medication, being under doctor's care, and of course spiritual disciplines. Regardless of what other people do, don't throw away your choices. Decisions come all the time that I don't particularly like or enjoy. Sometimes ones come that rock my world. And to that I say... Time for a bike ride. Time to take a day and go off by myself. Time to be quiet and meditate on the Word. Time to sleep a little more. Time to go to the health food/vitamin store and look at what's available. ...

Where you choose to focus when you're going through change will greatly determine your outcome.    People fail at lots of things because of broken focus. In the case of journeying through change, we often focus most on the change. It begs our time and we all too often  give it all we've got in mental, spiritual, emotional and even financial energy.   When you get on a plane and prepare to take off, the flight attendant always gives a spiel about what to do in case of an emergency. Among the things covered is what to do if the cabin loses pressure. They remind you that oxygen masks will fall, and in the event that you are holding an infant or child they ask you to make sure you put your mask on before assisting with theirs. Most people will drawn to help their child first, however this may prove a dreadful choice. If you are involved in ministry or any type of public service, you are probably real good at running around and putting other people's mask...

             You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.  ~Denis Waitley Early yesterday morning before I left for the church office, a big change was suddenly thrown into my life. I realize seasons of change in life are the rule not the exception. And I like what Waitley said that change is the rule, but not our ruler. While I was processing this change I found great comfort in a few things... Getting out of the bathtub and seeing that Max and Maddie had taken up residency in mine and Larry's bed, with Max's paw wrapped around her...always warms my heart. Larry just had to take a photo even though we've seen it so many times... Prayer in the sanctuary that I customarily lead every Thursday morning at Celebration ... Reading Jesus Calling... Completing all my customary church ministry duties... Coming home and riding my bike for a longer time in weather that couldn't have been more perfect...no...

Today I have a guest post that is different from any that has ever been published here. It is unique for many reasons, first of all because I cannot reveal the actual name of the person writing.  Right now the writer of this post lives in hiding.  It is still a danger for her to speak openly but she graciously agreed to write today's post under another name with identifying details left out, to kick off  a blog series I'm very excited about. The writer of this post and I became acquainted over five years ago when she became one of my  blog readers. Since that time I've come to know Karen* on a deeper personal level. Some of you who have been readers here for a while will remember me sharing about my friend Deborah who was a pastor's wife. Deborah was murdered in 2010 at the hands of her husband. I shared about that situation here and opened my heart with more personal thoughts and a plea here .  I had no idea that some of my readers would be so profoundly af...

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.”   ~ Steve Maraboli, Life, The Truth & Being Free   Let go of what's driving you crazy. Let go of what's driving your blood pressure up, that you can't change. Loose it and LET. IT. GO. Then look at what's left and decide what to change. Follow through and do it. 

Decide. Do. New. It's really that simple.

Where is your creative space to work on your art? I have logistical space.  My issue is space of time. Others have all the time in the world but no physical space or resources to work on their art.  Either way moving forward requires change to create. Do you need physical space?  Rearrange a room at home. Give up something else in order to prioritize your art. A friend of mine gave up a closet and made it an office. She had to figure out somewhere else to put her clothes but she had a place to work on her art. Do you need space of time to do your art? Do the painful work of examining your agenda. I understand this dilemma.  Currently I'm working several jobs, one of which was supposed to be something I was covering temporarily but has turned out to last longer than I would have ever imagined.  We're coming up on several years now, not months. If you had told me this back then I'd have either told you that you were crazy, ran away, or gone to my docto...

I remember many years ago when I was just coming into adulthood lamenting about some things  I had to do, somebody quipped to me, "Deanna, all you HAVE to do is live, die and pay taxes." I know it might seem odd, but I'm a very analytical person who really started thinking about that statement. What does a person have to do, really have to do, in life? I don't have the full answer to this question yet but one thing I do know for sure, we all do some things we don't have to do. I believe we still do them for a myriad of reasons and one is because we are afraid of the new. New represents change. And change is something that scares many of us. The interesting thing about change is that it has the possibility to make a way for us where there seemed to be no way. Change can bring healing, wholeness, a new lease on life. But it often requires a very deep examination of what we have been doing versus what we might want to think about doing. In my experienc...

Irene Porto, Founder and President at Career Integrity Recruitment and Coaching published the following on her Facebook status yesterday: How to set goals for 2012~  Step 1: Take stock of what went well and what didn't go well in 2011. What successes did you have in 2011? Why do you think you succeeded? What didn't you accomplish in 2011? Honesty will get you closer to putting these goals back on the list for 2012. Don't give up, recommit. Why do you think you fell short? What did you learn from the experience and how can you do better in 2012? I'm sure she'll share more as the week unfolds, but this first post gave me a lot to think about. Actually I was already considering what my goals for the year are going to be. There are years I have dispensed with "New Year's Resolutions" altogether, believing they are mainly unrealistic goals people aspire to that never quite get off the ground. They sort of limp year to year with the same old goals that ...

Time goes on in our lives and we progress from screaming with glee over opening an Easy Bake Oven Set, a Barbie, a toy gun or a video game, to other things. Decades beyond childhood, the Keurig and a Tempur-Pedic pillow are my two favorite Christmas gifts.  I got to thinking about what this says about me. At this stage of my life I value comfort over play. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not but it's just reality at this moment. I read a blog post by Michael Hyatt this week that really challenged me to embrace discomfort.  It's the last thing I wanted to hear. I've been in an uncomfortable place for quite some time trying desperately to grab on to any bit of comfort that I could find and still retain ministerial credentials. ;P I'm only half kidding there.   I have hope for 2012. Even if just a little bit on some days, I still have hope and on the days it's low, a few friends give me some that they have to spare. Lucky for me, I have some friend...