Skip to main content

True Church Stories - #34

My husband and I were youth/music pastors for 7 years before we became lead pastors.   (Since we served at 3 churches, the location of where this happened will remain undisclosed.)   I was "called on the carpet" when the pastor somberly called me in one day and let me know he had something to discuss with me.  My heart was beating a little faster than normal.  I had no idea why I was being called in and couldn't imagine what it was about.  There was nothing I was doing that would warrant him being upset --I had not failed to meet any of his expectations that I was aware of.  We went into his office and shut the door.  The next thing that came out of his mouth was one of the most shocking things I had ever been accused of.

"Deanna, this is about your use of the F-word with the youth group."

Oh my stars.

My heart was racing at least twice as fast and I was feeling relieved in one sense (because I knew in my heart I had not done such a thing) yet racing ahead to think, "why?  how?  who has accused me of such a thing and would I be believed that I was not guilty of this?"


I gulped and said, "Pastor, I promise you I have never used the F-word with the youth group or anyone in this church for that matter, I do not use this word with friends outside the church either."

He looked at me and said, "well, one of the youth parents is quite sure you have -- actually heard you do such and is very upset."

I was racking my brain to think how they could have EVER remotely misconstrued things to the point of saying I had used the F-word.  It would have been a misunderstanding at the very least.

The pastor continued, convinced I had done so and finally I said, "Pastor, I think there may be a lack of understanding as to what the F-word actually IS.  I have never used it here in the terms as I understand it, but perhaps the F-word is not the same to everyone everywhere.  If I may be so bold, can I ask you what F-word you are referring to?"

He took a deep breath...looked down at the floor...and said, "fart."

I couldn't help it.
I laughed.
Really  hard.
Talk about a disconnect in communication!  This was a huge one.

Well, I was totally guilty of using THAT F-word.  I used it many times when the youth choir would be fooling around, not getting anything done, doing too much talking and goofing around and not enough time listening to my directions, I would clap or blow my whistle that I carried at the time to bring a big group of teens back to focus and I would quip, "Hey everyone, let's quit farting around and get back to focus here!"  I didn't realize a mom  of one of the teens who had walked in and listened in on rehearsals a few times really took offense to this.  She considered it "the F word" and told the pastor so, and asked that something be done about my behavior.

The pastor asked me not to use the word any more.  I asked him what he would like me to say instead and he suggested the word, "fluff."

A lot of years have passed between then and now.  We are lead pastors now and it's our son Dustin who directs the youth fine arts ministries of our church.  I suggested to him to make things in his ministry a lot simpler that he hold closed rehearsals to avoid helicopter parents who over-react to things that are really of no consequence.  If I had the option to have closed rehearsals back then, I would have.  Dustin does this and it makes things a lot easier.  Not that he's doing anything wrong - he's a great leader - but it definitely makes things smoother not having parents circling when he's trying to lead a rehearsal.

He doesn't use the F-word any more than his parents do...unless you consider forgiveness, freak, fluff, fantastic, fabulous or well, yes...fart... the "F-word."  :P

Comments

Anonymous said…
ROTFLMBO! I'm in trouble, too! ;)
Rhonda said…
Hahaha! I remember you using that word ALL the time! Thanks for the memories :)
Ruth, so you say the "F" word too? LOL Oops!

Rhonda, anytime my friend! Love you
Anonymous said…
Yep. Usually as , "Quit fiddle fartin' around!" Yikes...that's two F____ words! :P

Popular posts from this blog

This Could Have Ruined Everything... (But It Didn't!)

 No one would ever guess what happened to me this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida...so I'm going to tell you. :) As I was preaching at the Fearless Tour at New Hope Assembly of God this weekend,  I got choked up, literally. For probably 2-3 minutes I coughed profusely and greatly struggled. Then I drank some water and kept preaching. Everyone was gracious to give me a few moments to get my bearings. If you were there, you'll remember it! What no one realized at the time was that I swallowed a bug that flew right in while I was preaching! So disgusting! I said nothing because I was at a point in the sermon where I was really connecting and I knew if I said, "I swallowed a bug," everyone would either laugh profusely or be really concerned, or start feeling sorry for me.  And at that point whey wouldn't be thinking about the message anymore, but the fact that I had just swallowed a bug. They would then imagine what it would be like, and feel grossed out which

I'm Just Being Transparent...

This year at the Stronger Conference, a young minister stopped me as I was walking out of the room at the conclusion of a workshop and she said, "I want to tell you something..." (I was all ears.) She said, "Do you notice how many of the speakers this weekend are saying, "Now, I'm just being transparent when I tell you..." or "I'm just keepin' it real..." I nodded yes. In fact, I mentioned that I was one of those speakers. I think I probably said a few times in both my keynote message and my workshop that I was just "keepin' it real." After I affirmed that yes, I had noticed that -- she said, "Do you know why they have to do that? They do it...and you do it, because so many people don't keep it real. So many in leadership aren't transparent, Deanna. That's why all these people speaking here feel an urge to declare their transparency.." I let her know that usually when I say, "I'm just kee

What To Do First to Make a Profit

The PF Women Team at our Annual Team Retreat  ~ 2018 Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said: It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way. Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're  not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director.  Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year.  God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory! I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started inve