Deanna Doss Shrodes

"You learn something new every day!" I wish I would have coined that phrase but of course I didn't -- it's an old one. Each day I look for opportunities to learn and usually learn more than three things. Yesterday was no exception as Larry and I spent the day at Joshua Tree National Park, taking in the sights. I had no idea what I was in for. I mean, I knew it was a desert, but oh my lands, it's the mother of all deserts! It's a desert on steroids. The first thing anyone needs to do is get yourself a Big Gulp before you go, because it will take you a minimum of two hours to drive through it. Don't let the word PARK fool you. This thing is the size of the state of Rhode Island. No, I'm not kidding. And it will take you two hours only if you don't stop at any of the exhibits along the way, which of course, we did. Speaking of a big gulp, the first thing I learned is this: 1) If you want to know where you should eat or drink, just watch where ...

Twenty-nine years ago today. We were just babies. Seriously, Larry was a teen.  This is not a cliche. Not a pat answer. Not just something I feel I have to say just because I'm a Christian. Or a minister, or a pastor's wife myself. It's my life experience. And it's reality. So take it for what it's worth from a person who is celebrating 29 years of marriage, today. This is the number one thing that has helped me more than anything in my marriage. It's prayer. Specifically, joining with someone else in fervent - warfare prayer. It's important to pray with your spouse but I also believe it's important for a woman to have a Godly female friend who understands what is at stake, to stand in the gap with you and intercede.  Matthew 18:19 says:   "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. "  There is power in agreement. The...

Larry and Me ~ Vacation in Boston, two years ago   Memorial Day is a day when our family typically stays at home. It's a day to remember those who gave their lives for our freedom in America.  I do remember and honor. Just saying, on this day of remembering our heroes, Larry and I choose to stay home rather than fight the crowds, trying to find a spot for a towel or chair on an overly-crowded beach.  Most people would not guess it but other than the context of work, I'm an introverted, stay-at-home type person at heart. I don't even like to go away for vacation, but make it a priority to do so because it's important to my husband. Larry asked me last week what I wanted to do for Memorial Day. It was no shock to him when I said, "Stay home." "What do you want to do at home?" was his response. I'm surprised he asked because I give the same response every time for 28 years: "Relax."  "What does relaxing look like...

Today I'm interviewing someone who loves cruising more than anyone I know -- and knows how to get fantastic deals! Today my guest is my husband, Larry Shrodes. Enjoy. Deanna: Why do most people think cruises are so expensive?   Larry: Many of us in our generation grew up seeing The Love Boat. I think it may have been thought of by some as more a dream than a reality. Perhaps people think, “Surely this has to be more than I can afford -- not realistic for me…” The reality is, many times you can cruise much cheaper than taking a traditional vacation. However note that there is a difference between a vacation and a trip. For instance, a trip is when you go visit relatives and stay with them. I don’t consider that a vacation.   Deanna: So then, what is a true vacation, to you?   Larry: Vacation is getting away from it all. A true vacation for me means people taking care of me rather than the other way around. It’s a break from my normal routine and respon...

An informal poll I took recently among friends in ministry revealed that most don’t take a day off. Or if they do it’s not a true day off. I’ve known the importance of a Sabbath for a long time. After all it’s in the Bible . And I’m a minister, so I’ve done plenty of reading of the Bible. But for some reason those of us in ministry, myself included, seem to need more of a kick in the pants about taking a Sabbath, even more than our non-clergy counterparts.  Several weeks ago, I was spending time with some women's ministry leaders and brought this up. I was encouraging them about getting proper rest and practicing self-care. I discovered that even on their day off, 99.9% of them check work emails and texts, and “take a moment to answer back real quick.” I suggested to the group that all of those moments taken to “answer back real quick” add up.   I know because I’ve been so guilty of it myself. I also suspect that by answering back, most of us have entire Sabbaths...

Today is Thanksgiving AND it's also my husband's birthday!  How fitting. I'm extremely thankful for him. In particular, here are seven things I'm grateful for: 1) He's funny. His sense of humor is the first thing that attracted me to him. 2) He's a great father. He spends a lot of time with each of our kids, and always has. 3) He comforts me. If he knows there's something wrong, he doesn't rest easy until I talk to him about it and he is good at talking me through things. 4) He prioritizes family things . Doing things as a family is his favorite thing to do. 5) He cooks. So do I, but I get tired. And I love knowing that at least half the time, somebody else is doing the cooking and it actually tastes amazing. He's always making new dishes and serving up older favorites. Some of my favorite things that he makes are ~ pierogies, spaghetti, crepes, and a dish he created called, "breakfast potato salad." 6) He loves to tr...

1) He doesn't give up. He sticks with things, working hard on them,  long after most people quit.  He stays the course even when he's down emotionally or physically. When things aren't going the way he wants them to, he just keeps moving forward.  2) He  likes me to be beside him. Always wants me in his world. Hates when I'm not, for some reason.  3) He's the most committed "family man" I know. I've never worried that he's going to do something "crazy" in the sense of a mid-life crisis that would include coming home with a sports car or leaving our family to "find himself."  He's really the most stable person I know.  4) He's the most sentimental person I know. One day he told me, "If I had to pick a theme for my life it would be making memories with my family." I don't really know that I recall ever hearing a man say that. 5) He has sweet habits that are long lasting. Like when I say to him,...

Let's dream together... What if we all managed to show our husband or wife in just one way, every day, how much we love them? It wouldn't always have to be something big or dramatic. Although on occasion, big and dramatic is good. On most days, it could be as simple as bringing them a cup of coffee in bed, or warming up the car before they get in it (or cooling it down if you live in Florida). Perhaps it would mean taking initiative to do a chore for them that they absolutely hate to do. Or maybe making time to join them in the shower before work? Just imagine...what if? What if we all did at least one thing each day? The awesome thing is, we don't have to stop at dreaming...this can be our reality.  Recently I blogged about how to get through to your spouse when nothing else is working. I shared about appealing to their five senses in communicating.  A reader mentioned the book The Five Love Languages in the comments of the post. I love the book and highly rec...

Where do you start when the whole house is messy? Mine has been out of sorts the past few weeks with being out of town for three conferences and lots of other stuff in between. I've been juggling the best I can but still have some catching up to do. Yesterday I needed to start somewhere and it was rather overwhelming but the choice was easy. I started on mine and Larry's room and bathroom first.  So often people prioritize the public areas that everyone sees first. (Entry way, living room, etc.) It makes sense. We all want the parts that everyone sees to look great. I have a bit of a different take on things though. I feel like there's nothing more important than the place where Larry and I spend time privately. It's that place that makes all the public things possible for us. Not just today but for the long haul. And make no mistake, we're in it for the long haul.  

What?! Are you reading my headline correctly? Yes. You are. I want my husband to leave. I want him to leave today. I want him to leave as soon as possible.  I want him to go away and not come back until Saturday night. Why, you might ask? Well... He's going on a men's retreat!!!  And I love when he does that. It's not that I don't love my husband in fact, it's because I love him so much that I want him to go on this men's retreat. He's going to come back home a better man, a better Christian, husband and father. He's going to come home strengthened and encouraged, and even more fired up. He's going to come home more appreciative of me. Why? Because hotel rooms are lonely without me even though he's with a bunch of guys. He's going to come home ready to eat a late dinner that I make. (He loves my cooking.) He's going to take a warm shower and then get in bed and snuggle up with my head on his chest while we watc...