Deanna Doss Shrodes

This is another one post where I share with you another great insight I learned from Kathryn Kemp , my boss and one of my mentors. We are up to 21 posts now of things I've learned from her although it's actually been a lot more than that. Kathryn loves text messaging and does it often, even for business purposes. Years ago when we were first starting to work together she texted me about something important she wanted to ask me about for work - something above and beyond my normal course of duties.  I am often blessed to do special projects for work, and never lose sight of the honor it is to be asked and entrusted. When we got on the phone to confer about things she quickly apologized for texting me and said she was reminded never to do it again when it is something important she wants to ask me about. I never complained about her texting me but she knew from previous personal conversations we've had about our lives in general that it's my least preferable form of...

How do you know what anyone should or shouldn't do?  The answer is, with the exception of few things, you don't. I have written a series here on the blog, "Lessons from Kathryn".  She's the person who has served as my manager at NextJob for most of my employment there, and that recently changed within the last few weeks.  She is still at the company however she has been promoted to a  new position.  While she is no longer my day to day manager, we still talk on a constant basis.  Her value in my life is not limited to positional authority and I am still in close relationship and learning from her whether she is overseeing me or not.  I think we've actually talked more since she's not my manager than we did before!  Incidentally, I am also in very good relationship with my new manager, Tina , who was responsible for bringing me to the company in the first place and is a great manager and leader to learn from as well. There's something Kathryn t...

A new study has revealed that emotional pain hurts as much as physical pain. Last year I was expressing to my boss a situation in my life that was stressful and she asked me the question, "Where do you feel it in your body?"  I said, "excuse me?"  Nobody had ever asked me that question before.  Kathryn reposed the question: "Where do you feel it?  Where in your body do you specifically feel the pain of this situation?"  I had never thought of it that way before and upon stopping to think about it, I realized that when I focused on this particular situation I could definitely feel negative effects in different parts of my body.  She went on to explain to me how powerful this connection is. Of course this was not news to God, although it was news to me.  He created us to respond this way -- some of us are just catching up to figure it out! There are toxic situations in our lives that cry out to be changed.  Our body talks to us (through...

I have been thinking recently about leadership teams I've served on as an adult and what made them effective...or not.  Sometimes you learn as much by an ineffective team as one that works.  On all of the teams where I have served I have been a leader of some sort though not always point person.  Right now in my life I have the best of both worlds as I am the point person for many things as co-pastor of  CC , however I am on the coaching team at NJ and not the boss.  I got to thinking about the subject of passion and drive in serving on a team.  There are times that I've shown up at a meeting on various teams I've served on, only to hear all the plans of something that have been finalized, with no input from anybody on the team.  Basically these could be called, "briefings" not "meetings".  There's no meeting of the minds, no brainstorming , no opportunity to let the creative juices of the team flow...you're just informed of decisions made,...

It's been a while since I've blogged on "lessons from Kathryn" (if you want to read all that I've posted on them so far, just click the link, "Lessons from Kathryn" down at the bottom right under "labels.")  Kathryn Kemp is my boss at NextJob and has become one of my dearest friends as well.  I've learned so much from her, as a coach, and just in life in general.   One of the recent lessons I've been learning from her is about the way she is so careful about the atmosphere around her.  Now, I really thought I knew this principle.  But like anything else in life, there's always more to learn.   The Lord has also used Kathryn to teach me a lot in the last year and nine months.  Kathryn is a very gentle soul, but don't let that fool you.  The woman's got boundaries, and if you ever cross them you will find out real quick that you've crossed them.  It doesn't come in the form of a big announcement.  There is no fan...

Well, okay...........only for a week. But still...this is UH-May-ZING!   [Cyber Scream!!!!!]  It rocks because she's not just the most amazing boss ever in the history of the world and someone I look up to tremendously as a mentor and leader, but she's also my friend.  One reason (besides the fact that I'm so likeable and an incredibly hard working employee - LOL) that this works is that I never let the fact that we have become friends get in the way of her doing her job.   I always maintain the utmost respect for her as the leader and don't expect preferential treatment because we are friends.  Incidentally, that is why a lot of people can't handle being friends with the leader whether it be on the job or in the church with their pastor -- they simply don't know how to remain  within the boundaries when it comes to work.  Once they become friends they find it impossible to let the leader be the leader without hind...

The majority of my years in leading people have been done in the style of mentoring, not coaching.  Mentoring is sharing with a mentee your experiences, and the most effective way I've found of doing that is to let them experience life with me, up close so they can shadow me and learn. Mentoring involves giving the person you are helping actual advice or in some cases very strong direction.  Obviously I haven't been coaching as long as I have been mentoring.  I started a life coaching program for the women of our church four years ago however I did that flying by the seat of my pants, creating the program as I went along .  Amazingly, it worked well.  I've been career coaching for a little over a year now and I love it.  The company took a risk in hiring me as I had no career coaching experience prior to that.  I took it as my mission to make sure they didn't regret bringing me on board and in fact would o...

A lot of people are posting new year's resolutions on their blog today.  I have goals but I wouldn't call them resolutions.  The word resolutions comes from the word "resolute"  and with it a sense of unwavering finality.  Due to one of my recently developed goals for this year, resolutions just won't work for me.  As for goals I'm not going to post them all.  They were birthed from some recent personal coaching that I had from Kathryn .  The majority of what we discussed in that session was personal but what I will reveal here today is that she asked me to take time to consider what I want. It's something I don't spend a lot of time doing, at least up until now.  I'm pretty focused much of the time on what I need to get done on behalf of other people.  I try desperately to follow the example of people like my grandmother.  But I have had to come to the realization that it's not a bad thing at least...

"Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."   Yesterday Kathryn told me this is a quote she keeps by her desk at all times, to remind her of this truth every day when she is dealing with clients, or anyone really.  (You never know when a difficult family member is going to call, you know!  Sometimes that can be more challenging than a client.  LOL )   Lately I have coached some job seekers who are in desperate situations in many different areas of their lives, not just a job search.  It's amazing the pain that is out there.  My heart just breaks.  There are times I get in a meeting, the subject of which is supposed to be resume development or marketing but instead the person can't even get to square one with me on that because at the moment the most pressing thing is a personal or family crisis of some sort.     There are many people who are not decking the halls right now or sipp...

First let me say that as I already said on Saturday, I'm probably going to blog twice a day from now on - an update on Maddie and then something else.  I know many of you want to hear the Maddie update each day (and I love you for it!) but I also have other things on my heart to write about now that our days are not so insane as they were the first week the tragedy happened.  So, this is the first post today and I'll give a Maddie update later this afternoonor this evening.  Now, on to "Lessons from Kathryn"... Once again I'm learning from Kathryn the importance of having more flexibility, this time on a deeper level.  Those of you who have known me for a long time already know that while organization is my middle name,  flexibility is my nemesis.  Many years ago, while preparing to go on a missions trip, a missionary warned me, "those who are not flexible shall be broken."   I've tried so many times since then to loosen up an...

Yesterday Savanna brought the mail in after school and I was pleasantly surprised to find a card from Kathryn that was also from Terri (Western Regional Manager) and Kristi (C.O.O. - Chief Operating Officer) with a Starbucks gift certificate.  I've now received so many Starbucks appreciation cards from them, (for this latest round of clients I engaged as well as a previous round)  I won't be paying for my latte's for quite a while.  The folks I work with are just amazing about appreciation.  I just engaged the last round of clients on Friday and by Saturday Kathryn had this in the mail to me from Oakland, CA.  She's a lady who is SERIOUS about appreciation.  It's not just about Starbucks cards or other things of material value.  There isn't a time Kathryn ends a call with me without saying, "Deanna, I just so appreciate all of your efforts.  Thank you so much for all that you do." I honestly don't do the things I do ju...

 Good managers set the example in doing what it takes to get the job done. Kathryn agreed to meet with me this past Tuesday seven hours earlier than she normally does because I needed to go to Gulf Coast for the Campmeeting. It was already a humongous favor for me to ask her to do that, but on top of this, an unfortunate happening had her up at 4:30 am that morning. This left her feeling totally drained and exhausted, so much that it was difficult for her to even concentrate on some things in our meeting. Still, NOTHING, nothing kept her from keeping her commitment to meet with me. The fact that we were slammed with a new layoff from a company in Texas on Monday and Tuesday which put her work into overdrive didn’t stop it either. The schedule got insane those two days, but she did what she had to do to keep it all going. There are some people who get to a management level and they look at it that life has given them a huge blessing in that they can now relax, sit back and bark ...

This week in my meeting with Kathryn I learned once again how important a little flexibility is in a working relationship.  When managing employees of the church, I've always been very flexible with personal appointments and needs, such as long as they are not lazy or take undue advantage.  I have no tolerance for laziness though.  I've said it before, lazy people cause me to shake.   This is where valiums, brownies and lattes come in handy. Kathryn is an amazingly flexible manager.  I needed to ask her if we could change next week's meeting times because Larry is preaching at a Campmeeting in Northport and I want to go with him.  I would prefer not to have our weekly meeting on the road, as it's harder for me to engage in conversation.  Truth be told, I don't want to have a meeting with her on the run because I value the meeting too much.  She quickly said, "oh of course..." and moved the meeting to morning....

This week Kathryn and I had a bunch of things to go over in our meeting, from a sticky situation with one of my clients, to the rhythm of a coaching call and by that term I mean -- how a typical meeting should flow.  But none of that is what I want to mention today.  It was all fantastic advice but I'm headed in another direction. Kathryn appreciates a good laugh and she welcomes humor into the workplace whether it be that she's the one dishing it out or someone else is.  A few times I've had to say, "I hope I didn't freak you out by what I just said..."   (I tend to push the envelope, or -- as my husband has said before -- at times I own the whole stationery store).  There are times a quip just slips before I think about it and suddenly I think, "ugh, I went too far with that one...."   Kathryn assures me, not so.  She appreciates that somebody besides her thinks these things and occasionally says them in a crass manner.  ...

I'm not going to let another week get away from me before I post the next "Lessons from Kathryn ".  [Insert applause here.]   So tonight I was thinking, "Kathryn is the kind of person that I could just write the same "Likeability Factor" blog  about all the time.  It could just be our running blog each week sharing again how likeable she is."  I know, I know...you are thinking, what a total suck up --that I'm looking for brownie points.  Sorry, [eeeennnt, wrong answer].  I work hard and don't really need extra credit.  I'm just stating truth by saying she's got the likeability factor in overdrive.  But I'm not going to sit here and write that same post all over again using different words.  The reason I bring that up is because as usual in this week's meeting she found out right up front what's going on with me, and what I wanted to talk about.  Sometimes I really wonder if she's a regional coach manager or a th...

So I know you have been waiting on the edge of your seat for "Lessons from Kathryn" from last week.  Things got really out of control this past week and I wasn't able to post anything substantial.   So you will more than likely get two lessons from Kathryn this week.  To be quite truthful with you, Kathryn and I discussed confidential matters during 90% of the meeting last week, so I can't really share the  majority of what she taught me.  But before I share the 10% I can share, I will say this...Kathryn always, always, always processes relationship before task.  This has always been a priority for me with those that I manage, however never to the degree that she does it.  I must say, I've got some improvement to do, and I'm following a person who is showing me exactly how to do it.  Amazingly my work doesn't suffer at all because we do that, and in fact I believe it's much more effective but then again you'd have to get her ...

I stand in my kitchen, laptop open on the counter , checking my e-mail while talking on my headset phone. I simultaneously stir spaghetti sauce, put breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, set the table, make a salad, click down my e-mails and delete junk, quickly answer a few that only require one sentence answers, and take our whining dog out to go potty while still holding the conversation on my headset. I glance over at the weeding that I have to do in our flower beds after supper, which I always do while listening to teaching podcasts on my Zune. When the dog is done with her potty break I wash my hands and resume cooking while I answer various questions my kids are posing during this time like, "what's for dinner?" and "where's Dad?" [ on the toilet ] and "did you sign my permission form yet for the field trip Thursday?" while finishing out my call and taking another one that is waiting on call waiting. At the office and even offsite I operate i...

So I know many of you from Boston to Singapore who read my blog may be waiting with bated breath to find out what I learned from Kathryn this week. Wait no longer my friends... This week I didn't really ask Kathryn any serious questions about coaching or anything else leadership related. She began our meeting as she always does by asking about what's happening for me both personally and in my job. I began telling her about this week's wedding , and being that it's such an amazing story it's pretty much what we talked about during our meeting. She found the story about the wedding to be as cool as all of you did. Of course it was very enjoyable for me to tell her about it, as it's had me literally on a cloud all week long that has lasted to this moment. When I got off the phone, I thought to myself, "Drats! Besides talking about the wedding I only asked her a few little piddly things about my work...did I just waste that time? I could have been learning som...

Yesterday I had a one on one meeting with my manager Kathryn which is always amazing. I learn so much from her and she's pretty amazed at how much I remember of what she says and even quote back to her verbatim. I want to soak in every bit of wisdom I can possibly learn from her and take very seriously every word that comes out of her mouth. Yesterday we talked about disappointment. It was something she had been communicating to our Eastern Region team about and it carried over into our weekly meeting that she and I have one on one. Her input on the issue on disappointment relates to coaching in many ways as we can be disappointed that a client hasn't showed up, or produced something we really thought we had motivated them to do, like market their resume properly or even finish it in the first place. The excuses people give for not following through and doing things are unbelievable. It's difficult as a coach to deal with that sometimes but we have to remember, we can le...

Tuesday I had my weekly meeting Kathryn , who is my manager at my career coaching job. She's an amazing woman that I've learned so much from in a very short time. It's seriously mind boggling to me, this blessing I have. Others pay thousands of dollars for Kathryn's time, to receive her advice, and I not only pay nothing to receive it, but I actually get paid to receive it. That's not lost on me for a second and I don't ever resent her interjection in my life or work, I absolutely LOVE it. I've decided that from time to time when Kathryn gives me some great nuggets, I'll pass them on here, periodically. This week, I was talking with her about challenges I have in client conversations at times when it comes to making decisions. There are times that I end up making decisions I'm not happy with myself for in the end. For instance, if a client is late or a no show, I'm supposed to dock them time for it. It costs them 30 minutes of time every time th...