Deanna Doss Shrodes

Landing on someone else's blog last night as I was reading before bedtime, I was delighted by what I found. "Oh my gosh, who IS this chick? We think exactly a like! Seriously. I think I found my new best friend..." I was all excited. I had found my literary clone. I wondered if she also liked bike riding and dark roast coffee. I was about to announce myself to her via the comment section with a link to one of my recent posts. I was ready to co-write a post with her and let the wonder-twin power activate, when I scrolled down, only to be devastated... The blogger was quoting ME in her post. It was me I found. Darn. Then I realized it may be a confirmation. My therapist recently told me that I need to be content in my own company -- to finally be my own best friend. So there you go. Just as quick as I lost my new best friend last night, I found her.

 "There she goes again..."  I buried my face in my husband's shoulder, uncontrollably laughing, trying to get myself semi-under control, (I never get fully under control, lol) as we were out to dinner last night. Our former children's pastor, Trinity Mackley, came into town and stayed with us for the last two nights. We went out to dinner -- he and Larry and I along with Jordan and Savanna. In our conversation which was quite delightful, I was reduced to cry-laughing. This happens often. I laugh so hard I sometimes fall off the couch. Or leave the room. Or bury my face in a tissue. I've had passersby thinking I've had too much to drink, when I wasn't drinking at all. One time somebody offered to call me a cab. In all seriousness. That made me laugh even harder. My kids are used to it. They just say, "there she goes again..." and shake their heads in amusement. They get a kick out of the fact that I laugh at my own stories and jo...

Some of you deal with someone on a regular basis who torments you until you cry. Or maybe you don't cry. You just feel like your head or your heart is going to explode. The tension weighs on your shoulders, creeps up your neck, and pulsates in your head. They don't consider it torment -- in fact that very thought is laughable to them. It's just teasing. "Relax," they say, "I'm just kidding." But the kidding doesn't feel so fun. It feels like torment. And you are tired. You are very tired. Bullying doesn't end in an elementary school yard. You can be 80 years old and be a bully. All it takes is a steady stream of not-so-funny jabs and constant chipping away at your sanity. What's the answer to this? Or why am I even posting it? Simply to say: You're not crazy. You're not alone. And just in case you're wondering -- Jesus would never, never, never do that. Not even in kidding. Just sayin'.

Turning the television volume all the way up in my bedroom, I quickly dashed to the bathroom, leaving the door open, so I could pee after holding it for almost four hours. I didn't want to miss even one moment of the Whitney Houston Homegoing service. Like millions around the world , I was practically glued to the television that Saturday morning, taking in every moment of the service, from Kevin Costner’s unforgettable remarks to Bishop Marvin Winans powerful message.  My TV was so loud it drowned out the sound of the flushing toilet and water swishing in the sink as I washed my hands. Drying them and running back to the TV, I  managed to keep a watchful eye online. Friends in other countries were posting status updates on Facebook. They were tuning in as well, and gave a running commentary on the service. Without exception all of us remarked that the tears were streaming down as I Will Always Love You began to play and Houston’s casket was wheeled down the center aisle ...

God has been speaking to me more about rest. Everyone needs it. Leaders especially need it! I require solitude to function at my optimal.  We all have needs in this regard but many of us feel really guilty about being assertive about it. Why is that so? I don't know whether I'm getting better at being assertive or whether I am just too needy when it comes to rest in this season of my life to care about offending anyone. In just a moment I'm going to share with you three new ways I've found to make it easier to rest. No, they don't involve a cruise. I know I just came back from one yesterday and my faithful readers who know that may be thinking, "Great. She's going to tell us to go on a cruise. Impractical! Irrelevant!  I can't afford it nor do I have the vacation time to take..." Relax. That's not the direction I'm headed. But please do indulge me for a moment before I tell you the three hints, while I share with you a few peaceful ...

I'm not going to keep you in suspense. I'm going to tell you right off the bat in this post exactly how to do as the title suggests. You need to sleep. After watching this TED talk by Arianna Huffington right before the new year started, I determined to do three new things in 2012 to reach my goals. I'm getting  adequate sleep, I'm taking my weekly sacred day off no matter what and I'm planning vacations well in advance. It's another blog for another day but by "vacation" I mean true vacations. This doesn't include times of handling business, visiting people, covering bases, but a true getaway where I have no expectations or responsibilities whatsoever. A lot of people ask me how I do all that I do, handling multiple jobs and roles. I've been thinking about more intentional answers to this question instead of just saying, "a lot of prayer," or "God's grace." Yes of course I do it with a lot of prayer and without g...

Image courtesy of http://www.psiquilt.com/2011/07/pinterest.html I have preached against "fatal distractions." I've given motivational talks on getting beyond distractions so one can "get down to business and accomplish your goals and dreams." This is something I excel at -- focusing to achieve. Unfortunately it's also partly responsible for my blood pressure being higher than it should be, and some other not-so-positive outcomes. I have friends who accomplish a bit less than me, however they are generally healthier. And I've realized if I keep going this way they may outlast me.  Not that I want my friends to die, but I really would prefer that none of us be missing. :) So, I started thinking maybe I need a distraction now and then.  A friend recently told me they take a break from working at their computer every 20 minutes, get up and walk around, just for the benefit to their vision alone.  They are one of the most successful people I kno...

Healthy relationships and organizations are ones where nothing is off limits to talk about. Last night I spoke about this in our Fusion service.  We want to be a healthy church so there's nothing off limits for discussion at Celebration. Many believe that some things are better left unsaid, and that less communication is better.  Healthy people are aware of the destructive nature of secrets or a lack of communication.  Those walking in wholeness get the fact that environments where honest conversation is taboo or avoided are sick places and those who perpetuate such behavior are sick people.

Did you ever wake up and upon opening your eyes get hit in the face with a ton of problems to solve?  Well that's exactly what happened to me yesterday.  I hate when that happens. I opened my first e-mail and wanted to scream.  But everybody else in my house was asleep so I didn't.    Curve balls.  I hate them.  I still loathe them even after 25 years in the ministry.  Do you ever get used to them?  I wanted to shut my eyes and go back to sleep. I don't live in a world where curve balls can be dodged, only skillfully dealt with.  Some days I do better than others. I'm not sure what today holds yet but if yesterday is any indication it might be a challenging day or even week of dealing with the unanticipated.  So last night I made arrangements to assure myself a good morning before anything had the chance to happen.  People don't usually call me before 8 or 9 am unless someone dies or something.  So I felt pretty...

"Don't ever keep family secrets...they are one of the most destructive things ever.  If you want to build a healthy family, start now in the very beginning by building one that is secret-free." This was said to me by a Christian counselor from Emerge Ministries many years ago.  Larry and I were married a short time.  The problems that led me to go to counseling at that time were not between Larry and I, but concerned healing from the past.  I came from a broken home and Larry and I both had experienced situations in our backgrounds where family secrets were an issue.  We needed not only coping skills but knowledge of how to proceed to build our own healthy family.  I didn't want our new marriage to blow up in smoke because we didn't have the proper foundation from which to build so I quickly sought help for me...for us. The counselor's words were life for me, for us -- for our marriage and subsequent family we would create. The counselor encouraged me t...

Blogging from my phone today. Believe it or not, I didn't bring my computer on vaca! Larry did bring his and I'll blog from it on some days but others like today will be a short thought from my phone. I purposely didn't bring my computer because it has too much work that could distract me and quite honestly I seriously need a break from it. Larry's computer holds none of my files so it's not an issue if I get on to blog for a few minutes or what not. Blogging's not work, by the way...it's nothing but pleasure. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing it from a device I love to hate...the phone...lol! Since I'm blogging from this invention that has such a love/hate relationship with me I'll just put one quick thought in this post today. The other day I listened to someone talk about the emotional health of a leader. It's so important that leaders be in optimal emotional health. One difficult part of our role is that we are helping sick peopl...

I love mexican food, but most of it is so high in caloric content and mexican restaurants are difficult for me to stay on program.  I realize the following isn't mexican food that is on par with authentic meals that I would get at my two favorite places where I live however it's a simple and easy lunch that fulfills that "mexican craving".  I created this idea myself based upon my own tastes and maybe the idea will be a blessing to someone else.  With the measurements I use, it's a filling lunch that only costs me about 6 WW Points Plus. Get a package of fresh ground turkey breast.  Cook it up and add a package of Ortega taco seasoning and 3/4 cup of water and stir over low heat until cooked through.  I use Ortega because it's also available in low sodium which I need for health reasons. Once this is cooked and ready you have it to use for several lunches during the week, in fact it will make more than enough to have this for lunch every day if you want to...

There comes a time when you are face to face with your own spiritual, physical and emotional well being. A time when pleasing  people fades into the background and doing what you need to do to take proper care of yourself comes into focus. I am feeling little tolerance for anything stressful right now.  I'm losing concern for what happens around me as long as it just doesn't drive my stress level up any further than it already is. I'm gaining the power to set boundaries and not really care who gets mad at me. I'm so there. Excuse me while I go take some deep breaths and then hug my dog Max.  He is otherwise known as "Meds".  He truly is my medication.  He is the only medication I am currently on.  And it's my goal for it to stay that way.   Every time I hug him I feel my blood pressure go down.  I'm not imagining this.  Studies show when you pet your dog, your blood pressure goes down. Now if I could just take Max everywhere wit...

Allow me to introduce you to my latest love affair that I'm having at lunch.  So yummy!  Try this... Take a whole wheat Sandwich Thin (Arnold brand pictured here.  Right now my favorite are the "All Natural Flax & Fiber" ones.) Spread 1 Tbsp of Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Garden Vegetable Cream Cheese on it  Top with a 2 slices of low fat turkey breast or low fat roast beef on it.  (I also get low sodium) Enjoy!  (6 pts. on WW Plus) I am absolutely crazy about this and eat it for breakfast, lunch or dinner at times.  Simple, and deeeelicious!  Sometimes if I have the extra point and want more cream cheese I add one more Tbsp. This week I have enjoyed it as well as another new lunch love, introduced to me by my friend Patrice Migliore Viscuso (a friend from bible college days, also a fellow Weight Watcher).  The follow soup has ZERO points.  That's right, nada, zip, ZERO!  I'm a soup lover and eat it even in the summe...

Last year I was speaking at a conference and I wasn't feeling well.  In between teaching sessions I went to lay down.  A friend who was also preaching at the same conference came and checked on me and said, "Deanna, what's wrong?" and I said, "Oh don't worry, it's nothing serious.  I really think it's just stress and it's catching up with me." And to that my friend responded, "Deanna, don't downplay stress!  Many times we say, 'oh, it's just stress' and we act like it's nothing to really concern ourselves with if it's "just stress".  Stress is something that is quite serious and this issue needs to be addressed." Hmmm.  I stood corrected.  Well, not literally.  I mean, I remained laying down until I had to speak again...lol.  But with the issue at hand, I was justifiably rebuked.  Her words started a hunger in me for new information about stress and it's physical ramifications. Stress affects...

A new study has revealed that emotional pain hurts as much as physical pain. Last year I was expressing to my boss a situation in my life that was stressful and she asked me the question, "Where do you feel it in your body?"  I said, "excuse me?"  Nobody had ever asked me that question before.  Kathryn reposed the question: "Where do you feel it?  Where in your body do you specifically feel the pain of this situation?"  I had never thought of it that way before and upon stopping to think about it, I realized that when I focused on this particular situation I could definitely feel negative effects in different parts of my body.  She went on to explain to me how powerful this connection is. Of course this was not news to God, although it was news to me.  He created us to respond this way -- some of us are just catching up to figure it out! There are toxic situations in our lives that cry out to be changed.  Our body talks to us (through...

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee." Proverbs 23:7 Before I talk about food choices and exercise in this little blog series about things I've learned in my weight loss journey, I want to talk about the most important thing of all which is about how you THINK . I talked to you yesterday about the fact that an intimate "secret place" relationship with God is your most important thing. But the second most important thing are your THOUGHTS . The Weight Watchers program realizes this well. It's why the whole program is based upon what they call their "tools for living." These are great behavior modification strategies -- a different way of thinking - than you had when you were overeating.  The tools are: Winning Outcomes Storyboarding Empowering Beliefs Mental Rehearsing Motivating Strategy Positive Self Talking Reframing Anchoring I will talk more about these too...