Deanna Doss Shrodes

Writing about some things can cause you to lose everything, or nearly everything. I've written a lot, and I've lost a lot. I've also gained. But the losses tend to stick in your mind more with anything. So we avoid loss if possible. It's called "loss aversion" and it's real. Reading about some issues is rare simply because people are scared out of their mind about what will happen if they write openly about it. If you dare to write about some challenges in a public setting, the consequences can include loss of relationships, job, income, and a lot more. I'm going through a challenge at this time in my life that is quite common. Although it is normal, I hear it is one of life's greatest challenges. Due to not wanting to experience further loss that what I'm already experiencing, I'm not going to share what the issue is. But I will say this. I've combed through Amazon to find even one book about it. I have surfed the interne...

Many people have asked me this question. The answer is... I didn’t want to get out of bed or brush my teeth. I was so broken emotionally, it hurt to breathe. My upper body was in such pain that I rubbed it constantly. As I spoke to people I would cross my hands over my body and knead my shoulders, back, neck and arms over and over again - not caring about how bizarre it must have looked. (No one can ever tell me that emotional injury doesn't manifest in one's body.) Credit: freedigitalphotos.net I could have cared less about appearances. If people thought I was a freak, so be it. I was so terribly wounded and quite frankly at a dangerous place. I was close to checking in to a hospital. I really don't know what stopped me. A visit to a Christian therapist revealed I was suffering from complex trauma, significant loss and complicated grief.   In the midst of my suffering, I blogged for catharsis. I didn't care about prettying anything up. Quit...

Popping off online with a sarcastic quip when I’m unhappy about something  is one of my biggest temptations. I know I’m not alone in this because I see a lot of people do it, even leaders. The times I engage in this a re extremely rare to non-existent however I am sorely tempted many times . I know it's important to have this under control. If I'm going to be effective , there's no question I have to be extremely careful with what I post. My boss and I were talking about leadership one day and he made the remark that the higher we go in leadership the less freedom we have. I couldn't agree more. Let's say as a pastor, I had a terrible experience in a Sunday morning service where everything went wrong. The sound. The media. Evvvvvverything.  It is tempting for me to go online right afterwards and post,  "Why couldn't the rapture have come at exactly 10:45?"    or, "Some Sunday mornings require Xanax." Yeah, I have totally posted...

According to a recent survey , 81 percent of Americans feel they have a book in them -- and that they should write it.  Another survey puts the statistic of those who want to write a book at 90% .  Statistics show that very few of them actually succeed.   Approximately 80,000 books are published in America each year.   Clearly, 81 percent of Americans are not writing a book even if they believe they have it in them.   Intention and action are two different things. Photo I took at Ernest Hemingway's house in Key West, in his writing room. The majority of people who say they are going to write a book never will --but for someone who truly has a passion and more importantly – a calling to write, it doesn’t feel like work.  If you really want to write a book – absolutely nothing will stop you. A lot people ask me when I find the time to write. People see the busy schedule I keep and know that in addition to writing, I have a family, ...

I am sincerely honored by every single person's decision to read anything I write. I don't say this just to be nice. I really mean it. My heart is so touched when I find out that someone has read anything I've written. I realize you have a plethora of choices in reading material. So for any of you who have ever chosen to read anything of mine, thank you. Entourage Publishing releases Worthy To Be Found , today!! It's already getting rave reviews! You can read some of them, already up on Amazon. I'd be honored if you would also leave a review after reading. So, how to you get the book? Easy peasy. To get the Kindle edition, click here . To get a paperback copy, click here . I am overwhelmed by the goodness of God, and His favor in my life. More than anything,when it comes to Worthy To Be Found , pray that it touches many lives. Love you all,

I know...it's been a while! Actually a few weeks since I've posted on this blog.  I'm back. :) Photo Credit: Deanna Shrodes (Hemingway's Writing Studio) There's a good reason I haven't been posting here on this blog for a few weeks. I've been concentrating on writing my story at Adoptee Restoration.  I'd be honored if you'd hop over and read it sometime. Lots of people are reading it...like thousands of people. (I know, crazy, right?) Last night I put it all under one link so it would be easily found and forwarded. Get it here. One thing I've observed through the process of writing and publishing my story over the few weeks time is that a lot of people live in terrible fear of sharing their story. The reaction to people reading my story is as if I jumped off a cliff or got into a cage with a lion.

"I'm sick of this Jeannie business, and if I hear of it one more time, you're in big trouble!!!" This tongue lashing came Mrs. Mulkey, my second-grade-teacher-from-hell. Now, let it be known, I love teachers. Teachers are my heroes. Throughout all of my schooling, I only had two bad ones. That's a 98% success rate for all my teachers throughout all time, so that's pretty darn amazing. I've blogged about a lot of the 98, singing their praises, and today I'm going to share about one of the two from hell. Because now I'm an adult with a voice and I can.

Many of the people who read my writing each day do so at my other blog and I'm new to them. I've only been out of the adoption closet since August 13, 2012 -- sharing at Lost Daughters , and blogging at my own adoptee site since January 1, 2013 . So many people who read my adoption writings think I'm a brand new blogger. I hear, "Wow Deanna, you're doing pretty well for being brand new at this." Well, actually, I'm an old blogger. In more ways than one. Peri-menopause bites. I've been blogging here every day for over six years and before that I blogged on MySpace. (Yes, seriously...lol)  Along the way people have noticed how much I love blogging and asked me to write a few articles about it, as well as teach a workshop or two. This past week I answered some mail about blogging and I thought I'd offer a few helps here today on the blog for those who may have interest.

A lot of people ask me about writing. I don't pretend to be an expert but every now and again I'll throw out a post about this for those who are interested in writing. Today I'm going to share three things that I believe are important in creating a post that moves people. Do It When You Feel It Don't wait until you completely process things to write about them. In general, I'm a believer in writing things when you feel them, perhaps not to share right then, but definitely to keep for later. Otherwise the moment is lost and you don't have the full impact of all of your senses in creating exactly the atmosphere you desire through your words. I have a small book in my purse that I can job things down when I'm out and about so I don't forget, or I take notes on my phone if I am away from my computer. Strike while the iron's hot!  Do It Even When It's Painful Some people start writing, feel pain, stop and put the piece away for later. ...

I've never written about this before. Photo Credit: fotologic, Flickr My closest friends know, and I have shared it before in one message that I preached. But I've never written about it openly. I was encouraged by a mentor many years ago when it first happened to not make this issue a focal point. Applying my mentor's wisdom, I kept my God-given message the main thing, and prevented this from becoming a needless distraction. Many years have passed now. I can briefly reference this for a purpose, yet not allow it to over-ride my life's mission. If if you are a pastor and you're a woman, Florida is seriously the place to be. It's a mecca of sorts for women preachers. So progressive. I'll never move. This is my eleventh year pastoring here and nobody has ever given me a bit of a problem as far as being a woman in leadership. At the same time, I work very hard at what I do, have steadily proven myself for well over two decades, and don't expect s...

Writing unhindered! Oh yes! This week while we've been in the Berkshires, and even while in travel, I've enjoyed writing. It's been so nice to do my favorite thing (aside from family) without distractions. Usually I have to fit writing around the rest of my work life. If I don't get up early or stay up late, it wouldn't happen. It's been amazing to have a week where I didn't have to fight to do it. One day I have a dream of taking a writing trip. This would be something I'd do by myself, otherwise I wouldn't end up writing. It would turn into something else no matter how well intentioned or valuable. (There is great value in marriage or family activities.) So yesterday was a one month celebration for me, of my new blog, Adoptee Restoration . In just 31 days it exceeded all the dreams I had for the beginning. I am so grateful to everyone who has read there, and been part of the conversation. I've been blogging here for almost 7 years, most...

Writing down who God is and what He does, is beneficial to me. It reminds me of what I have to cling to when everything else is uncertain. Sometimes I make lists about God. Then I read them and re-read them. It helps me.  

Yoo hoo................ Are you in there, Deanna? Some of you wonder where I've been. Others may be so busy knocking out your new year's resolutions you didn't stop to notice that I'm blogging here part of the time and elsewhere part of the time now. I haven't left deannashrodes.net,  and have no intentions to. I'm just getting the party started over at Adoptee Restoration . We're 19 days in and it's been an amazing journey for me. It also seems to be making a difference in hearts and lives. The comment thread is super active and my email mailbox has been too much to handle on some days. I try to end each day with an empty box but on a few days I didn't manage it. I guess I need to take my own advice .  It's not good in the sense that there are really that many hurting people out there and in another sense it's awesome to be part of meeting a need! Today, I'm blogging at the community that started it all for me... Lost Daughter...

Every year I select a "word of the year" that is my personal theme. This year my word is... [drumroll please] BRAVE. My word is brave. And today I'm starting the new year on this first day of 2013 with one of the bravest (maybe the bravest) thing I've ever done. Today is the launch of my adoption blog. This means a lot to me. It's 46 years in the making and if you would have told me a year ago that I'd be doing this I would have thought you were crazy.  I first mentioned adoption in this post , on July 11 of 2012 and I basically said it was the first and most likely last time I would write about it.  I had no idea what God had in store for me! A lot can change in a year. I changed so much in 2012 and the new blog is a reflection of that. My desire was to launch it on the first day of the new year, symbolizing a new beginning and new levels, for me...and for others I desire to help. I want to thank two people who have been so instrument...

Hi. It's me. Deanna. I feel as if I need to re-introduce myself. :) Sorry I didn't show up yesterday.   Amidst making sure all the bases are covered at church and NextJob,  I'm taking a few days off here and there for family time during Christmas/New Years, and to accomplish some projects. Lost Daughters just got a book deal! That's right, Lost Daughters, "the book" is coming! An anthology of our work is being published, in book form, for the whole world to read.  Yeahhhhhhhhhh...super excited about that, and the LD sisterhood is in full swing preparing for this monumental endeavor. To say I'm excited to be a contributing writer on this project doesn't even begin to describe my feelings. I'm on deadline for a few articles that are due the first week of the year. Not complaining! Writing is what puts the wind in my sails. And, gives me a little money for hairspray. Most pressing on my mind right now is finalizing my personal adoption b...

Recently, Amanda Woolston who founded and leads Lost Daughters, asked me if I would serve as the spiritual columnist for Lost Daughters . I will have the privilege of unpacking the issues of adoption from a spiritual perspective and sharing about the hope and healing that is available. How amazing is that? If you would have told me even seven months ago that any of this would be taking place I would have thought you were crazy! It's been just six months since I started writing about adoption. I first shared here about my leap of faith in applying to be a writer at Lost Daughters.  And then I shared here about my first post when I was accepted to join the writing team.  So much has happened in just a few months time. I stand in awe of what has happened and how God has grown me and healed me in the process of writing there. I can't even fathom not being a part of this community. And I'm overwhelmed at the opportunities God has opened for me to somehow be a blessing...

This marks the sixth month that I've been writing the advice column I was asked to write for the Tampa Bay newspaper, Insight. Things are going super well! So well in fact , that yesterday, their Editor-in-Chief, Alisha Perella, as ked me if I would consider doing an advice column for their sister-paper, Epoch. So now I will have not one, but two advice columns running in Tam pa area newspaper s! So cool, huh? And, on top of that, I've been asked to contribute some fea ture articles aside from the advice columns. It just keeps gettin' better and better. I love writing, if you couldn't tell... Once they publish the paper, I have been posting a copy of my columns here for blog readers who don't live in the Tampa area. If you are interested in reading previous colum ns, click here . This month in Insight, I tack led the th e problems of an unhappy small-business owner. Dear Deanna: I own a small business and to say I’m feeling strained right now is...

Today I am blogging at one of my favorite places to be --  Lost Daughters . All month long Lost Daughters writers are participating in NaBloPoMo . For those who don't know, that stands for National Blog Posting Month. NaBloPoMo is a month long writing exercise that takes place annually in November. Participants write a blog post each and every day of the month. Anyone who has read my blog for a while knows that I basically do NaBloPoMo every day of the year, every month, for the past 7 years. :) I'm absolutely delighted to have the privilege of sharing at Lost Daughters during NaBloPoMo. The writers of Lost Daughters created a list of subjects concerning adoption that we are writing about during this time. It's going to be a powerful month of insight from those who understand and can speak to adoption best -- adoptees. My post there today is one of the most important things I've ever written.   Much love,

Yesterday was National Authors Day!  I missed it. I'm a writer and I missed it. I was too busy writing. I did a lot of writing yesterday, after work. Yes, being a writer is part of my work, but I don't consider it a job since for me writing is like breathing, most days. I came home from the church office, ate dinner, walked for an hour, and then proceeded to work on one article for seven and a half hours. Most articles don't take seven and a half hours, in fact they rarely take over an hour. But this one was different. I basically had to open myself up for surgery to write it, bleed and cry all over the place, and then and stitch myself up when it was over. Ernest Hemingway once said, "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."  I am fascinated by Hemingway and toured his house last year, with every step wondering if he felt many of the things I do when I write.  The most life changing things one creates are done ...