Skip to main content

True Church Stories - #24

Years ago here at our church in Tampa there was a woman who thought she could sing well.

I'm sure you have one of those in your church too.  (Smile)

She insisted on singing "O Holy Night" for Christmas time and kept hounding our music pastor about an opportunity to sing.  The music pastor  knew better than to put her up there on a Sunday morning but at the time we had Sunday night services and so he scheduled her for a Sunday night and hoped since this was the faithful cream of the crop in attendance, they would be more understanding.  She didn't just repeatedly stalk the music pastor about the fact that she thought she could sing -- she pretty much did it with anybody in earshot.  She would have made an amazing American Idol contestant -- you know, the funniest ones who think they can sing and are woefully offended when someone tells them they can't.  In the church it's an especially sticky situation when someone is convinced that singing solos is their gift, and it's very evident to everyone else that it's not.

Not only did she sing O Holy Night, but she insisted on having a friend with her to sing who was equally as painful on the ears.  They did a duet and both of them were totally decked out in Christmas regalia as they sang.  My husband and I were sitting on the platform facing the congregation during this debacle and it was hard to not burst out laughing.  I closed my eyes and thought of anything I could think of to stay serious.  I thought of all the Christmas shopping I had left to do.  I thought of my housecleaning that I was woefully behind on.  I thought of anything to block out the screeching sounds of "O niiiiiiighhhhht divine...O night when Christ was born!"

After the service they made a beeline to me to say, "What did you think of our song?"  Even in these circumstances I don't think it's right to lie and I always think of something positive to say.  So I exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, you guys LOOK GREAT!!!"  Amazingly they smiled and thanked me and never asked anything else about the actual song.  Then they went to my husband and said, "Pastor...how did you like our song?"  He just smiled and said one word:  "WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  (Wow can mean anything...wow can be good, wow can be bad, wow can be indifferent.  But at least it wasn't a lie.)  Then they went to our music minister and said, "what did you think of our song?"  and he said, "You know...those are some of the highest notes I've ever heard."  (He didn't say they were on pitch, in tune, or pleasant sounding...he just said they were high.)

Here's to all the interesting songs we may hear this holiday season...some good, some, not so much.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Oh my word,,, my sister in law is in charge of Praise & Worship of our old church in Sarasota, FL...and I so understand this post! I LOVED IT!!!

Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no

This Could Have Ruined Everything... (But It Didn't!)

 No one would ever guess what happened to me this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida...so I'm going to tell you. :) As I was preaching at the Fearless Tour at New Hope Assembly of God this weekend,  I got choked up, literally. For probably 2-3 minutes I coughed profusely and greatly struggled. Then I drank some water and kept preaching. Everyone was gracious to give me a few moments to get my bearings. If you were there, you'll remember it! What no one realized at the time was that I swallowed a bug that flew right in while I was preaching! So disgusting! I said nothing because I was at a point in the sermon where I was really connecting and I knew if I said, "I swallowed a bug," everyone would either laugh profusely or be really concerned, or start feeling sorry for me.  And at that point whey wouldn't be thinking about the message anymore, but the fact that I had just swallowed a bug. They would then imagine what it would be like, and feel grossed out which

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we