Deanna Doss Shrodes

What if your glass broke?  Really? I've been so sad I wanted to jump off a cliff and it drove me to eat cupcakes. They are still on my thighs in the form of cellulite. My husband doesn't think there's anything perfect about me taking all the covers every night.  I'm a cup of dark roast coffee?  I've read this five times and I'm still going..."What???"   It tells me that something could get into my ears and there's nothing I can do about it. Eeeee!!! What??? Hopefully the creator of this is not working for Hallmark. If Larry said to me, "Deanna, you act like summer and walk like rain..." I'd wonder if he got a few medications in the cabinet mixed up. This is just...gross. What if they were hunted down and killed by the Mob in Chapter 20?  Oh well, I guess comparison still isn't good.   My husband.  He said, "Why are ...

So I've been away most of this weekend, actually since Thursday. I was in Ocala, FL to speak at the Freedom Conference for my dear friend, Pastor Jan McIntyre - co-pastor at Marion Oaks Assembly of God. This is her, below. Doesn't she have the most fabulous hair? You can spot her in a crowd anywhere. Yes, that's her natural color.  I sneaked this photo while she was praying on Saturday. We had a great time together over the weekend. The conference was fantastic and we even went shopping together. She introduced me to her favorite store -- Kohls. Yes, imagine that. I'm a shopper and we have Kohl's in Tampa, I just never went.  My sister Shari is always telling me about Kohl's. It's her favorite place, too. Jan gets the most amazing deals and she found these shoes for me, which I wore to preach in Saturday as well as to church this morning.

Monday night we were in rehearsal for our upcoming Christmas show at Celebration and I was sharing some stuff with the team. Some of them laughed until they cried. Then they begged me to make a video. Awww shucks. These people really think I'm funny. As tightly wrapped as I am sometimes -- straight up serious about getting work done and helping people, I do cut loose and get goofy. So I said I'd make a video and I even found a Michael Jackson song, "You Are Not Alone" that goes perfectly with it. Although this is a funny illustration, I am  totally serious about the fact that whatever you're going through, you are not alone! And neither am I. I'm so grateful for this truth. Here's the video that has my team rolling:

Years ago here at the church we now pastor we hosted an event for women that specifically focused on married love. As the women came in there were mannequins dressed in wedding gowns, and a beautiful wedding cake at the center of the room, and bridal bouquets were the centerpieces. It was a lovely night and the place was packed with women eager to hear my message about what the Bible says about the blessings of married love. After the message we featured a panel discussion/question and answer session. The ladies asked a lot of candid questions and we did our best to answer them. I was delighted by how some of the older, even elderly women, contributed with their advice. One lady who was in her eighties (we'll call her Sis. Blanche), shared a memory with the women from the early days of marriage. She said, "Girls, back in the day we would go to the beauty shop once a week to get our hair done. We'd get our hair teased and styled up and sprayed real good. Then we...

A few readers requested that I share more of these and Lord knows I've got enough of 'em to write about til' the cows come home! So here we go.  If you've missed the previous 38 of these gems, just click the link at the bottom of the post that says True Church Stories to read them. If you're in need of a laugh, this series of blog posts will keep you going for quite a while.  This one comes from an Easter Sunday experience a few years ago at the church we currently pastor. This unbelievable story actually took several months to unfold in it's entirety. It all began on Easter Sunday when a new couple decided to visit the church. They came in about 30 minutes early and sat in the back of the church. As they were sitting there amongst the people, my husband walked by. He was dressed in a brand new suit - very trendy for that particular year - it was powder blue and he looked great. My husband is a sharp dresser who always wears nice clothes and shoes. He actua...

Yesterday was my day off but with the way my schedule shook out this week I ended up pushing two  articles that were on deadline off until the last minute as well as three job seeker coaching sessions. That doesn't make for the best day of rest, but it couldn't be avoided this time. I worked on the articles late Thursday night after getting home from a district women's leadership meeting that I went to in Orlando early that morning. I kept nodding off as I was writing, I was so tired. This doesn't lend itself to creative writing.  I was upset with myself because my self-imposed deadline to get it done was Thursday night before bed. It just wasn't happening. I vowed to give the first moments of the day Friday to finish the articles before I did anything else. I woke up and immediately began writing and was in perfect rhythm. Writers understand this -- it's the place of being where your fingers try to keep up with your thoughts and the words feel as if they are...

So yesterday's post received a lot of feedback about people who try to use guilt and manipulation in their facebook status posts. Concerning vaguebooking my friend Jennifer Tatum has a strategy she calls "counter-vague".  When anyone posts a vague status she comments with something equally vague.  For instance if they post, "Just not sure anymore..." she might post, "so much to think about..." in response.  She gave me this counter-vague idea so I tried it out.  I started posting equally vague comments just like that to people's vague statuses.  One friend posted, "Weird!" so I countered by posting, "Unbelievably!" Another friend posted, "Just not sure anymore...."  I countered by posting, "Come what may..."  Most people responded with "what?" or just ignored me and kept up their vaguebooking. Then I had an idea that when people posted manipulating or guilt-tripping vague statuses, I would us...

Check out my hair...could there possibly be more of it?  It was more like a mane than a hairdo. ::giggles::  Do I look tired?  I was!  I had just given birth, and I was nursing all the time, not to mention running after two active boys.  And as you might notice, I was married to the guy from The Wedding Singer ...hahahaha!!! I still hadn't lost all my baby weight and wanted to hide behind my handsome boys. The baby is 14 now and many are wondering why I still haven't lost the baby weight. And I know, I know...we're all in matching shirts.  Some of you might be ready to send this photo off to Awkward Family Photos. What's awkward to some is precious to others.  Okay, it's precious to ME.  Notice that Savanna even had a color coordinated hair bow to match her tie dye shirt.  Right now she'd say, "Motherrrrrrrrr...what WERE you thinking?"  She is praising God that she can now dress herself.   What's the point of this ...

Wow.  Um, there are no words.

One of my clients that I've been coaching sent me this video and knew I'd just love it and she was right!  Oh my stars.  It's hysterical!  I can so relate, having two dogs that LOVE to make a mess. Enjoy and have a beautiful Saturday!

Wow.  Um, there really are no words.

This true story in the "True Church Stories" series comes from the Experience Conference this past weekend.  In addition to being privileged to share in the opening general session Friday morning I also was asked to teach a workshop on both Friday and Saturday afternoon entitled, "Hot and Holy Matrimony." Both times this workshop was packed, and this afternoon we even had people sitting on the floor so many had interest in this topic.  I'm just setting the tone for you here that a lot of people evidently have interest in "Hot and Holy Matrimony"!!  ::smiles:: To further set the stage, I was rolling full steam ahead in teaching, and due to the volume of material I had to present, we had no time for a question/answer session.  If someone said something during this particular session, it would be classified as an interruption.  Some who were actually in the session later referred to the interruption as "heckling" but I'll let you decide. ...

Today my friend Sandy van der Meulen, who is a writer, speaker and women's leader wrote a post about me at her blog, Sisterhood.  She wrote this to introduce me as I will be guest posting on her blog tomorrow. Sandy's introduction post today doesn't just contain stuff about me though, it's on a much more important topic which is our shared passion for leading people to Jesus and helping them grow in Him.  Click here to read today's intro post.  I'd suggest subscribing to Sandy's blog as she has great stuff to share on a daily basis.  She is a blogger that I follow every single day.   In today's post she shares that she often calls me "Miss Divine" because I remind her of Bette Midler.  When we traveled to the Cayman Islands to minister together this past year she kept having me sing, "Wind Beneath My Wings" and even recorded me singing it on her iPhone.  Every time I did it we'd both bust out laughing almost to the point of cry...

I have about 50 pairs of underwear in my drawer but I only actually wear the same 15 pairs, wash them and go through the same 15 again.  I have no idea why I have these other 35 perfectly good underwear in my drawer that just sit there.  I just can't bring myself to get rid of them. I read someone's facebook wall all the time that I am not a friend with, have no mutual friends with, have never met and more than likely never will.  I happened on their page one day and am kinda fascinated with watching their facebook life from afar.  If they change the privacy setting of their wall it's really gonna devastate me.   The Fugitive is one of my favorite movies.  No matter how many times I watch it I get really nervous and pray to God that Richard escapes even though I already know he is going to escape. What strange things do you do?   (Keep it clean, please!)

It's been a while since I've posted any of my "true church stories".  This is a running series here on the blog and if you want to catch up on the 35 stories that preceded this, just go here .  Some friends tell me it's some of the funniest material they've ever read. Are they just humoring me? You decide. So today the thought came to me it's been a while since I've shared one of these and I thought some of my readers might enjoy a chuckle on this manic Monday.  This story actually comes from an AG sectional minister's  meeting years ago here in Tampa.  Now let me say that if you live in Tampa and are sharing that  you are a resident of such I have been informed by many that the proper way to introduce oneself would be as a "Tampanian."  Evidently a certain minister's wife was not informed of this fact, bless her heart. On the evening of this minister's meeting the person hosting the meeting asked everyone present to go around...

It really doesn't take that much to start a new craze. Whoever thought that the latest form of entertainment would be to find places to lay down flat as a board and have a friend take a photo of you and post it on the internet?  Yesterday I had no idea what "planking" was and had to ask facebook friends about this new thing I saw six unrelated friends posting on their statuses yesterday.  I was rather taken aback to see the pictures of these friends laying face down on their living room chairs or cars and posting them on facebook.  It seemed a rather odd thing to do and I was curious.  I noticed that one of them labeled it "planking" so I asked and received the answer that planking is simply laying face down perfectly straight and having someone photograph you. Seriously?   One friend, Joy Morey posted this in our discussion on my facebook page:  "Planking is just another trend of silliness. Nothing strange or drug induced, just for fun. I ...

Before Larry and I became lead pastors there were a few things I told him were important details to me.    Some weren't terribly spiritual, in fact they have nothing to do with the primary purposes of a church.  After the really important stuff is taken care of, like people coming to Jesus, there are a few other details here and there that are important to me. I have been exposed to things at some church socials over the years that were worse than things I've experienced in a third world country.  You think  I'm kidding?  Take punch for instance.  At some of the churches we were a part of, they served red or orange punch at church socials or dinners that literally burned your throat when it went down.  It wasn't spiked, it was just nasty.    Not only does it not quench your thirst, it's downright painful every time you swallow.  When gently inquiring about this with the powers that be I was told things like, "We only drink this pu...

On the last day of our Caribbean cruise the cruise director came out and told us he wanted to prepare us for "cruise withdrawal" that we would go through.  He said, "you're going to be at restaurants and start to get up to leave without paying your bill" and "you're going to miss the little towel animals on your beds" and stuff like that.  He was right!  My husband is STILL in cruise withdrawal. Me?  I'm going through Hope Tour Withdrawal. I am having dreams about unscrewing banner stands and setting them up on platforms. I'm resisting the urge to run outside and arrange big pots of flowers. I keep taking my t-shirts out of my dresser drawers at home and refolding and stacking them. My hands are shaking as I'm putting my suitcase back in the garage. I'm waiting for somebody on the team to text me and tell me it's time to come down to the lobby to go eat. I am reaching around to try to feel for tables of purses and ...

It's gotten in my head way too much and I think I just might need another vacation.  I'm starting to get loopy.  ("Just starting?" some of you are thinking...) What do you get when you mix being a pastor, a pastor's wife, and a job coach working  for a re-employment  firm that is absolutely  second to none in customer service?  Well, I will tell you this, if you do it for any amount of time successfully you are, as a general rule, positive in your communication.  You may not "feel" it all the time, and some days may be a huge challenge, but you learn how to be a positive communicator.  Monday I realized how programmed on "auto-pilot" I just might be when it comes to this.  I had a few personal items on my agenda Monday when getting back from the cruise.  One was confirming a dentist appointment, the other making a call to my gynecologist's office to schedule my yearly exam.  I called and spoke with the receptionist giving her...

Your kids never approach you when you are refreshed and in your right state of mind to ask you for things you haven't seen in years, like birth certificates, old photos, and other important papers.  Requests like this seem to be reserved for times when you feel so exhausted and tapped out you can hardly function, like midnight the night before they need this for a school project... A dog gets excited every time you walk into a room again...at least mine do.  If I ever want to just feel great about myself all I have to do is walk out the front door, shut it, then walk back in a few minutes later.  Max acts like I just got home all over again. Just the day you have to sleep in for once you will get a call from one of those political surveys or somebody like that.