Tuesday, October 25, 2016

5 Things to Do After a Big Event


THRIVE 2016 is now over and what a time it was! I am trying to be a better leader in the area of what to do AFTER an event that I lead.  For most of my years in leadership and ministry, I would scarcely celebrate or focus at all on what just happened and would go bolting head first into the next event at 500 miles an hour. A few years ago I asked myself why. There was an urgency to get things done and get busy on the next thing. BUT, I realized I was doing myself and my team a disservice by racing into the next thing without celebrating the last thing.




This season is particularly challenging because I am leaving in two weeks with members of our team for Africa for 16 days. I feel an urgency to race ahead but I am holding myself back from doing that.

Here are five things I've found it's important to do:

1) Celebrate

I have observed that Pentecostals in particular seem to be not-so-good at this. I think part of it is the admonition that is banged into all of our heads to "give all the glory to God." Do we need to give God all the glory? Yes. We do. At the same time, God's people need to celebrate what He has done. And that includes celebrating what He has done through His people. We need to say, "Yay God!" and "Yay team!" and revel in the amazingness of what just happened. Don't rush the celebration. We were meant to enjoy God. To enjoy leading. To enjoy our team. To enjoy the results.  It's okay to get excited and go a little crazy.

2) Take time to thank people

The larger the event the more time it will take. You won't thank everyone appropriately on the last day of the event or even the day after. Take time to write notes over the week or two following the event. Post on some Facebook walls and give kudos. Text and make phone calls. Nothing outstanding happens without teamwork, so appreciate your team.



3) Rest

In years past, I got up at the crack of dawn the day after and showed up to church or the office the next day at regular time. It's getting harder and harder to do that at the speed I'm running and quite frankly it's a bad idea. So this time I made a change. Aside from two debriefings, I slept most of the time for the next 48 hours.  That was necessary to gear up for the season I'm getting ready to walk through. If you want your leadership to be for the long haul and not a sprint, this is essential.

4) Solicit feedback 

You won't sort through it all right away but start asking for it and prepare to listen and make appropriate changes. People who are afraid of feedback won’t reach their destiny. Can they be successful? Yes. But they will not reach the potential for which they were destined. If you aren't afraid of feedback and you will take it seriously, you are unstoppable. 

5) Know what's normal for this time

Do you feel a little depressed? That's normal.

Do you feel like you want to get away from people for a while? That's normal.

Do you feel a little "snappy" or irritated when people ask you for things before you've had rest? That's normal.

Take care of you, so you can gear up for the next big thing.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

I Will Not Be Surprised if a Bear, A Lion or an Uncircumcised Philistine Show Up At My Office Today!



God knows my name.

And on strategic weeks like this one - the week of the THRIVE Conference,  I feel like every demon in hell knows my name too.

 Every year at this time, things come seemingly out of left field and pelt me until I feel like a wrung out dishrag. Souls are in the balance. The enemy is fighting hard. Last year at THRIVE over 50 women made decisions for Christ, several hundred women were filled with the Holy Spirit and there were too many healings to count. Believe me, satan (I refuse to capitalize the loser's name) is not happy about this. Our team has fasted for 30 days this year just as we did last year.  I am not surprised that the hordes of hell seem to know where to find me. 

Fortunately I have some prayer warriors on speed dial. There is none greater than my Dad.


My Dad and Me
My father is a person who gets up really early every morning and goes into his "prayer room." (When the movie WAR ROOM came out, I told him, "Dad there's a movie that just came out where the lead character is just like you, only she's a woman named Miss Clara...") This past year for Father's Day I got him a little "Armor of God" soldier to go in his prayer room. He loved it. He begins every day 365 days a year with bible study and prayer.  I'm really glad especially on weeks like this one that I know my Dad is diligently praying for me.

Yesterday after his early morning prayer time he sent me this message:


Deanna,

In warfare preparation is 90 % of the battle. We must think like the enemy... where is he going to hit? Where might he attack? How do I prepare for the attack? 


Elisha, David, and Joshua are three examples of the importance of preparation. When David was a lad he killed an attacking bear and lion to protect the flock. Then he heard of a 13 foot tall giant. He must have been thinking,"God helped me kill a bear and lion and he will help me kill the old uncircumcised philistine!" We have to understand new levels new devils! David was anointed three times.. a prophet, a priest, and a king! (1 Samuel 16:13, 2Samuel 2:4,  2 Samuel 5:3)

Elisha was a farmer who gave up all to follow Elijah. He was Elijah's servant. He was fully prepared and received a double portion of Elijah's anointing. Although we find ourselves in a long war, we can get stronger while at the same time, the enemy gets weaker. 1 Thessalonians 1:8 Stand fast in the Lord! We can stand because of His grace Romans 5:2. 1Corinthians 16:13 

Standing in the battle includes watching, being courageous, and being strong. 

Know God has this and YOU! 

Love Dad


 No matter what lands on my doorstep at home or work today , I know God has it and He has me.

God has you too.  I asked my Dad to pray this morning for anyone reading this who may be facing a battle today. He said he would be glad to pray last night and this morning for all of you.

Know that someone cares, and you are covered.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Everybody is Losing Something

Me with our dog, Maddie. We lost her last year.

Pick a person. Any person.

Have their name in mind?

Now, consider what they recently lost. It could be a job, a family member, a pet or a home. They may have experienced a miscarriage.  Perhaps they are staring the empty nest in the face.  Their beloved co-worker may have retired or transferred. The office will never be the same. It could be something as simple as their daily routine being lost. There is the loss of the familiar and comforting rhythm of the day. Perhaps the worst losses are sudden ones.

Everybody is facing a loss of some kind. And it's hard. Life is filled with loss after loss.

I know there are gains.

And yet there are still losses.

You say..."Well, don't focus on the losses...be positive." We need to be positive and at the same time losses still have to be processed. If we don't handle them right we can actually get sick in more ways than one.

Be kind. Everybody out there is losing something and it hurts.


Proceed today with the understanding that the whole world needs hugs and lots of them.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Apparently "It's going to be okay" is code for "You're Not Going to Die" (Unless you do and then there's a response for that as well...)




"It's going to be okay..."

This phrase has been said to all of us.

But what is "okay"?

I've come to believe it means, "You're not going to die."

Other challenging things may take place. Your body or your (emotional) heart may be crushed into a million pieces...BUT...at least you're not going to die.

Except when you die. And then people change directions. "It's okay! He/she still wins because they are with Jesus." And, "They are actually MORE than okay because now they are walking on the streets of gold," etc.

I understand why people say this. For the Christian, it's true. And at the same time, it's hard when people tell you that it's going to be okay and it doesn't feel okay, at least for a while. Maybe a long while.

That is the reality for some people at this very moment. Their pain cannot be explained away by a Hallmark card ("Everything happens for a reason...") or some Christianese. ("God never puts any more on us than we can bear...") Did you know that people actually feel the pain of depression in their body?

What would it be like if, when it's not going to be okay, people would put an arm around you, hold your hand and say, "You're right, this is going to be hard, but I'll be right here with you."

What would it be like to have someone simply hold you through the storm?

What would it be like to have someone tell you the truth no matter how painful it is, and then walk through it with you?


Saturday, October 15, 2016

When Your Problem Doesn't Budge No Matter How Hard You Work


Sometimes we face a situation that doesn't move forward not matter how hard we work. This is frustrating for a leader. (Everything can be solved by working hard, right? lol ) There are some things we can't work out - we just need to walk them out and wait them out.

This week, I came upon this quote about waiting:

"Teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work."  ~ Peter Marshall  

It's so true! It's much harder for me to wait than work.  I don't mind work - in fact I love it. I could work all the day long and if all my problems could have been solved by working they would have been solved long ago.

So...regarding the problems that appear stuck in the mud of life,  I have to ask, "What is to be gained in all this?" God must be accomplishing something in me during the wait. It is the Word of God, so I believe it and...for my own sanity I believe it.

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to learn - may I learn it as quickly as possible.

I come into agreement with the psalmist who said, "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage. Wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:13-14

My heart goes out today to anyone reading this who has worked tirelessly on a problem that will not budge. I pray that God does His work quickly, that you learn what you must, and that the problems are opportunities that open marvelous doors. 


Monday, September 12, 2016

Leaders: These Two Things Matter a Lot!


1) People are the way they are for a reason.
2) People are where they are for a reason.

These are two principles you can count on.

Some people may disagree with me and say, "But what about grace and mercy? Doesn't that have an affect on the way people are or where they are?" I've taken that into account with these two principles. 

Regarding #1............

Watch others closely and you will discover why people are the way they are. Particularly if you observe their passion, you will find out. For instance, I'm really passionate about leadership health. Anyone who talks to me for more than about five minutes about leadership will find that out. Dig deeper and you'll discover that my parents were/are both leaders in the church whose marriage crumbled in dysfunction. That affected me in a big way and now leadership health is something I'm relentless about. I want leaders to be healthy personally, behind closed doors so that they can have a God-honoring family and make the biggest impact on the world.

Observe people and you'll see...there's an underlying reason why they are the way they are.

Regarding #2............

People are where they are for a reason.  Because of the amazing grace and mercy of God, we don't always get what we deserve for the choices we have made. There are times we don't bear the full ramifications for what we do. However - what we repeatedly choose to do matters. Daily habits matter. (Everything from punctuality to reliability to using wisdom with our finances.) Small daily decisions make a big impact.
 
If you have made wrong choices, no matter how far you have veered off from God's plan the moment you make the right choice, He starts orchestrating things on your behalf to bring you to where you are supposed to be.

However -- it is undeniable that daily choices matter. What we choose to repeatedly do or not do has an effect on where we end up. 

Keeping these two principles in mind, we would all do well to ask ourselves what we are repeatedly doing.

The opportunities that will come our way in life and responsibility and trust we are given is greatly determined by what we repeat.


Thursday, September 08, 2016

What Do You Think You Don't Need?




Before we left for our recent vacation I was perusing Amazon, purchasing a few books to put on to my Kindle. I came across a book that lots of friends had recommended and my immediate thought was, "that's not for me." For some reason I was convinced that all the advice this author gives couldn't possibly apply to me in my current season.

 It's a good thing I had second thoughts and bought the book anyway. Here's something to think about. Whatever it is that you think you don't need in many cases is EXACTLY what you need. Whatever you think couldn't possibly apply to you is EXACTLY what applies to you many times. Whatever you think you don't need to talk about is EXACTLY what you need to talk about.

Whatever it is that you are resisting so hard...it's probably long overdue for you to do something about.

 

Monday, August 22, 2016

Are You Open or Closed? (Your Future Depends On It!)

"I'm about to say something..." my assistant Erika said apprehensively, as if to warn me of something I didn't want to hear. What followed was something she thought I needed to hear for my own good. She was right, but I would have been fine with her telling me long before this conversation we had last week.

"You could have already told me that! Why didn't you speak up sooner?" I said.

She was relieved.


After letting her know I was grateful for the input and was going to change things, I became concerned that maybe there was a deeper issue. I thought maybe Erika thought she couldn't tell me the things I need to hear. So I brought it up again later saying, "Did you not think you could tell me that?" She said she did feel that she could tell me things like this without a problem, but she appreciated the conversation.

Andy Stanley says that leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say. I believe that's true.

An important point to make is that it isn't wise to listen to just anyone. Wrong voices lead to wrong choices. It is prudent to choose well and then listen to those who surround us. If we are wise we will listen not only the people who lead us or those with authority -- but those who work with us and for us.

Erika and I have had some deep conversations about what various people's lives would look like if they were truly open to hearing what about them needs to change. What would a person's potential be if they were willing to hear about any weakness or blind spot without offense? What could their future look like if they stripped themselves of insecurity and pride and allowed someone to speak into their life and then made a change?

I made some significant changes last week due to Erika and another leader in my inner circle speaking into my life. I'm better for it today. My only hope is that next time they tell me sooner so I can listen sooner! What about you?

 

Monday, August 15, 2016

Talent Is Never Enough


Yep, this is me. :)
When I was in Bible College music students were required to do juries where we would perform for two or three music professors and receive a grade. I love playing and singing and have done it since I was four years old. But I but dreaded juries. The reason for my disdain was my lack of skill with music theory.  Theory doesn't come naturally to me, but playing by ear is something as natural to me as breathing. Although I've taken lessons over the course of my life, the majority of what I know was learned by ear and watching other musicians and gleaning from them. My earliest experience with learning to play the piano consisted of listening to 33 records of groups like the Happy Goodman Family. Soon I could go up and down the keyboard with ease, but not by looking at a piece of music. This isn't exactly the skill set needed to do a music jury in college. 

I will never forget what happened to me during one of those dreaded juries. I came into the room and played for three professors and realized I was woefully inadequate for the task assigned, although I gave it my best. Moments later, Professor Betty Palma asked me to play something that I would do for church. I did so and was in my sweet spot. But, I knew it wasn't what they were looking for. 

At the end of the song, Professor Palma said to me, "Deanna, you're going to do well in church music. And here's why. You have the skill set to play, particularly in a Pentecostal church service. You are a very talented by ear player.  But more than that -- you never fail to be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there, and on time. You are always properly dressed for the occasion. And, you give your all to whatever you do. You are not the greatest at music theory or classical styles, but all of these other things will make up for what you don't have and you will succeed."

She was right.

I know a plethora of talented people but they aren't going where they want to go with that talent. 

It could be any number of things...

They are rarely if ever on time.

They make a lot of excuses.

They don't realize there is a proper time and place for everything. (i.e. what to wear for the occasion)

They don't understand authority.

They are not teachable.

They are not a team player.

They don't respect the culture of the place where they work/minister.

They lack common sense.

They lack  manners.

They don't give their best to every endeavor.

You might be really talented, but talent is not enough. 

What, if anything is holding you back?  (Hint: It's probably not someone else.)  


Monday, August 08, 2016

Leading From a Deep Well


My assistant Erika was talking to me one day and said:

"I've learned something about you. You lead from a very deep well." 

Her comment gave me pause for thought and  I recognized  a few things I do on a regular basis regarding this that might help someone.

Stay Thirsty

Effective leaders have a thirst for knowledge, wisdom, and improvement. Not a day goes by when I'm not pursuing these three things. It comes in the form of books, podcasts, classes and personal conversation. It's not by happenstance, but by a relentless pursuit. Each day I receive various insights that fill me, however my favorite times are those when I receive so much that it's like a Big Gulp. Those times would be occasions like spending a few hours or a day with a trusted mentor, or attending a leadership conference.

Resist the Urge to Rest in What You Know and What You Do

A leader can become so knowledgeable on a subject they think they know everything there is to know about it. Particularly when you are experiencing extraordinary success in an area, you can start to think it's alright to settle down right where you're at and rest on your laurels. Even if you become the greatest in the world at something, there's still something to learn. (There's a reason Tiger Woods practices as much as he does.)

Last week I was in the Louisville airport and stopped by one of the stores on the way to the gate. There was a book on leadership on one of the shelves, and I spontaneously bought it and read it on the flight home. There are entire shelves of books on leadership in my home and two offices. There are many more than most people would ever think necessary. But many more books  will join those in the future. I'm not settled in what I know about leadership or about anything. There's so much more to explore.  

When I read books I make it a habit to underline, write in the margins and compile lists of takeaways I want to put into practice. One time a very sincere Christian man said something to me at church that I never forgot. "Pastor Deanna," he said, "My wife loves self-improvement books. She has so many of these Christian self-improvement books by all the popular authors, we don't even have a place to put them all. She devours them and can't wait to go out and buy more. But for all those books that she has read over all the many years of our marriage, I can't say that I've ever seen a change in her related to any one of those books. Is that normal?" This man's question caused me to think critically, not about his wife, but about myself!  I sincerely asked myself if I was a woman addicted to reading Christian self-improvement or leadership books - but never applied any of the knowledge from them. Information without application brings no transformation. Reading books doesn't accomplish anything unless you follow up with steps of action.

Drink From the Right Places

Multiple people have offered to provide me with resources, coach or mentor me. But everyone who makes that offer doesn't exemplify who or what I want to follow. I'm not looking to end up where they're at, so receiving from their well isn't the best idea. There are a plethora of resources and people to receive from. Make sure what you're filling up on is going to lead you to where you want to end up. Take advice from people who have actually accomplished what you're trying to do. There are an awful lot of people trying to take people to places they've never been. 

There are only so many people you can realistically be in a relationship with. Choose carefully to end up with a deep well that contains exactly what you want it to be full of to pour out to those around you. 




 Photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net