Tuesday, June 26, 2012

When Your Spouse Needs to Grow Up

I've heard it said that marriage is not so much about finding the right person but becoming the right person. I believe there's a lot of truth to that statement.

When Larry and I met, we were just teenagers.


We had a lot of growing up to do.

We still do.

Still growing up in our 40's? With two of our kids already grown? And a third almost grown?

Yes. We are more committed than ever to learning and growing. It never stops.

I've changed so much since we've been married, I recently blogged about how my husband will be "married to four or five women by the time it's over...".  By this I'm not referring to sister wives. :)

I've just gone though so many inner changes, not to mention I change my hair color every month. People at church lovingly tease that "if you've only seen one shade of Pastor Deanna's hair...you're probably a newcomer..." Ha!

Larry has changed a lot too. I loved him as he was when I married him, and at the same time I'm so grateful God has worked on him.


 We still laugh about being married just a few months and having no money -- wondering how we were going to buy groceries or gas, and he got a Nintendo. A Nintendo!!!

I remember him walking in the door with it and I screamed at him, "oh my God, what are we going to do? Smash it up and eat it?!!"

Yeah, that didn't win me any wife of the year awards. [sigh]

He thought I was having a nervous breakdown or something. Actually I think I was...

He was just 19, and well...that's very typical teenage behavior even for a married guy. Heck, he still likes video games today although he would never, ever choose to buy one now over taking care of the basic needs of our household.



I've talked to a lot of women who complain that their husband needs to grow up. One thing I learned really quickly was that Larry rarely changed or matured based upon anything I nagged him into doing. In fact, that usually made things worse. He did, however, change a lot as I prayed for him, and as I spent the majority of the time working on myself.

So if you're reading this today and your spouse needs to grow up...PRAY.

Then pray some more.

Along with praying, examine all the things in your life that need to change. Focus diligently your own shortcomings, and developing the fruit of the spirit in your life. Watch God do something amazing.

Larry often tells people, "I'm so blessed because my wife is such a woman of prayer..."

Well duh. It all started when I was faced with the prospect of putting some salt and pepper on a Nintendo and trying to eat it, or praying for a miracle.


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