Saturday, March 24, 2012

Are you just hanging on for dear life?

"I wish I could just follow you around..."

Someone said this to me last night after I preached at a regional women's event at Victorious Life Church. 

The truth is, if they followed me around this week they would have just found me hanging on for dear life. Have you ever felt that way? That you were just praying that God would help you get to the next day?

Not many people in the audience last night, if anyone, would have guessed that this past week I have struggled through daily headaches, elevated blood pressure, and a work agenda that took me until after midnight each night to accomplish. In spite of all that God was so good to us last night. Whenever I get up to speak, I wonder why anyone ever invited me. Every single time I ask, "why am I here?" It blows my mind that people show up. I never lose the wonder of being asked to share. I walk through the door when someone invites me in. Then the Lord shows up and does really cool things. There is nothing better than God doing cool things.

As far as "following me around"some people have done that but they quickly get disheartened when I just put them to work.In fact, it's kind of a joke around Celebration that I will even put a visitor to work. If somebody's standing around I say, "here, I have a job for you..." Nobody stands around for long if they are with me because I don't have the luxury of standing around.

Some people have a glamorous view of ministry but can I just tell you that I prayed a desperate prayer this week?  My prayer was that God would just "get me to Saturday."   Last night when we got home I collapsed into my husband's arms in the kitchen and he said, "what's wrong?" I said, "you know I've just been praying that God would just get me to Saturday" and he looked up at the clock and quipped, "well, you have 45 more minutes..."

There are people praising God for all kinds of things big and small today and the truth of it is, I praise Him that on this Saturday morning, I'm here all in one piece. I confess that I haven't managed all of my responsibilities very well this past month between my multiple jobs although I've tried. There are so many times people ask me, "how do you do it all?" and I say that at times, I don't and have to let some things go.  I want you to know that's not just poppycock. I really mean it.

People think I'm just letting go of jobs like polishing silverware. No. I wish!

Want proof? Here you go.

My house has not been dusted in weeks.

While Larry and I were away last week the kids had people over and somebody wrote, "yo, yo, clean me" with their finger in the dust.

I'm too tired to be embarrassed.

But finally today...I will dust.

Just wanted to give a dose of reality to those of you who think I'm just being nice when I console you about not getting everything done that you want to get done.

And it doesn't make you a terrible person.
Nor a person out of God's will.


When I think of the people who were touched this past month and remember tears at the altar, and hearing, "I'll never be the same again..." what's a little dust? Or even a lot...lol   

And with that said...people often ask me what I'd do if I came into money or wrote a million dollar best seller. There is no question. I'd hire someone to clean.

1 comment:

Erika Soto said...

I feel your pain. Sometimes I have to sit down when my legs start to shake because I am so tired. You have so many roles. Your driving force is our heavenly father and thats why you are such an inspiration to so many people. You have such a positive attitude even though you are overwhelmed and can't find the time to finish it all. You carry yourself with so much grace and you always seem to have it all together. Im glad you wrote this because it's important that everyone see the human side of you. The one that gets tired and sometimes can't keep up. I wish I could give you a box with energy in it; like in the video games :) I will do the next best thing, pray for you. XOXO