Skip to main content

What To Do First to Make a Profit

The PF Women Team at our Annual Team Retreat  ~ 2018 Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said: It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way. Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're  not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director.  Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year.  God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory! I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started inve

Fab Four Christmas

Yesterday was a day I've been excited about for a few weeks now.  It was the day to have Christmas with three special friends.  We call ourselves the "Fab Four" because, well -- we are four, and long term, friends - which is fabulous.  The Fab Four consists of myself and three ladies who have been close to me for almost the entirety of my time here in Florida.  The bond we have is built has been accomplished over years of loyal friendship, giving opportunity for trust to build.  The women I speak of keep me sane well, relatively sane, and bring a lot of joy to my life and hopefully I do the same for them.  Yesterday we shared tea at a local  shop called Maggie's, and exchanged Christmas gifts.  Girl time was shared over Paris, Plum and Peach teas, scones and devonshire cream, finger sandwiches, and an assortment of desserts.

One of the fab four gifted the rest of us with friendship books with a personal letter inside and sterling silver necklaces for each one with a beautiful verse inscribed.

I don't take these kind of  friendships lightly -- they mean everything to me.  They say if you have even just one loyal friend in life you've got it all, but I've been blessed with these three and several more besides, so I feel like the absolute richest woman in all the world.  Thank you, Jesus.  (The Bible says every good and perfect gift comes from Him.)

I hesitated to blog about the Fab Four Christmas because (and all the pastor's wives out there reading this will well understand this) in pastoring a church, disclosing something like this can bring jealousy.  In fact, it can downright rock a church!  Which is pretty stupid when you think about it.  In fact it's really stupid, but when it comes to women and drama, (or sin) does anything really make sense?  

I keep most of these kind of activities to myself (as positive as they are) and we never discuss them at church, to avoid hurt feelings...you know, the people who say, "now why didn't she have tea with ME?"  But the truth is, every pastor/pastor's wife needs to have opportunity to select and have close friends like everyone else, and to choose what they want to do with their down time.  (Most pw's I know have had the experience of someone in the church coming up to them saying, "I feel called to be your close friend" and they don't feel the same way.  That is a sticky situation and one that I always dread.  Sometimes such people will try to force something and it's a challenging situation to deal with.  A lot of times they don't really have interest in "you" as a person, it's the infatuation with being with the leader that they have romanticized.  Yes, you love them, and you are blessed to pastor them, but you do not feel "called to be their best friend."  You do not feel the urge to have lunch on your day off.)   The ladies I speak of understand the principles of leadership as they are all leaders in their own right, are fiercely loyal and would lay their lives down for me in a heartbeat and have run interference before to protect me from danger.  (Did you know sometimes ministers and their spouses do face physical, emotional or verbal danger?)   Where are those in the body of Christ who will truly befriend a minister or spouse and help them with things like this without a hidden or ill motivated agenda?  This is a ministry in itself.
 
Every pastor/pw needs times where they are with a few trusted friends and not a big crowd...
Times when they can truly relax with a small group or even one person...
Times when they can receive, not just give...
Times when they don't have to be "on"
Times when they don't have to have all the answers or even any answers... 
Times when word measuring is in short supply...
Times when they are accepted for who they are as a person and not just what they can do for somebody...
not to mention...people they don't have to watch their back with -- EVER.  

Finding people who will be this in your life AND still totally respect you as their leader are as rare as a needle in a haystack.  I've totally let it all hang out with the fab four AND I think it's probably safe for me to say that there's probably nobody they respect in ministry more than me.  I know, that's amazing!  I ask myself what I ever did to deserve it.  (Nothing, it's grace.)  They listen to me preach, seem to  never tire of it,  and are the first ones to say "amen" even though they have seen me in times of weakness.

A lot of people reading this post may not understand a lick of what I mean by any of this that I just shared but if you are pastoring you do understand. 

Thanks to those of you who listened to me share about  my fab four Christmas and are happy about it.  :)   And thanks Fab Four for an Uh-May-Zing afternoon yesterday.

(I know there are pw's reading this who are wistfully thinking, "I wish I had a fab four."  I understand.  And I will pray for you.)

Comments

Melissa said…
Love this! Love that you have them in your life! AWESOMENESS! Yes I wish all PW and Pastors have those close friends they can just "be" with. I am thankful that I have that as well. A few close friends that I know I can just be me and not have to be "on" or have the answers with. I love them and the love me and I am grateful for them. Specially thankful that I now live close enough to them that we can do things like lunch together!
Love you!
I love you too and I am so thankful every time I think about Michele introducing us...you have been a gift to me in so many ways. Thank you for being a keeper of what's on my heart (that I can't blog about), and I pray that I can be the same for you. xoxo
My psych class confirmed this very idea. Humans need other human beings for companionship. We need to be able to communicate, be heard and not judged. Of course women do this more than men (hey, that's what the book said) and this activity...this sharing...reduces stress greatly.

PD, I'm so glad to have you in my life. Because truly, there are somethings you just can't blog about and still hold on to your pastorate! LOL!

Love you bunches.
Lisa, I am so glad to have you in my life too...you'll just never know. I've learned so much from you and you've been there for me through some rough waters. Not to mention, you have taught me amazing things about hair alternatives. :) LOL!!!!!!

And...know whatcha mean about some things you just can't blog about and survive and for those things, well sista, I've got you on speed dial and vice versa. :)
Lily said…
I totally agree. PWs need friends. I've been on the receiving end of the "I feel that God is calling me to be your best buddy" kindof comment. Not only is it a bit creepy and pushy, but it makes you wonder what their ulterior motive is.

I think it's wonderful that you have this close-knit group of friends. Having a group of friends who really understand your life and appreciate you is such a blessing!

Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are not

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we

Excellent teaching on Criticism

My friend Pastor Leanne posted this today on her Myspace blog and I thought it was excellent and so timely. It's a blog post from Pastor Perry Noble , about criticism. I think it's perfect for the pastors at Relevant Church right now, as well as any other person going through this. I would like to note that when he says, "when God begins to move" it wouldn't necessarily just pertain to your church but to your life, your family, your marriage, anything that concerns you. I have found that the greater God does things in my life and the more He blessed me the more I should expect it. This teaching is good, so good I was almost wavin' a hanky in my office. Okay, here we go... You Will Be Criticized When God Begins To Move–Expect It And Get Over It. (Pastor Perry Noble at http://www.perrynoble.com/ ) I've never met a devil worshiper–to my knowledge that is. When I first became a Christian I was convinced that I needed to do all that I could to be ready to comba