The PF Women Team at our Annual Team Retreat ~ 2018 Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said: It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way. Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director. Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year. God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory! I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started i...
Amidst our busy day today we carved out time for staff lunch and today I posed a discussion topic that was interesting. I knew I'd be preaching to the choir and we'd all be in agreement.
I've noticed a p
attern with many people these days that when one member of the family is sick or away on business, the other members of the family take that as reason to stay home from church. Consider these scenarios that are completely fictional. I'm not speaking of anyone who wasn't there this past Sunday. Please don't wonder, "who's she talking about?" I'm talking purely in general terms here about what I see as a widespread happening.
Scenario 1: Husband goes on business trip on the weekend. Wife and kids who are still home don't go to church for this reason.
Scenario 2: Mr. and Mrs. Jones have three kids. Four out of five family members are feeling just fine, however one child is sick. Mrs. Jones plans to stay home from church to take care of said child. Instead of bringing the other two and coming to church, Mr. Jones just stays home.
Scenario 3: Mr. Jones has a cold. He is not terribly ill where he can't care for himself, he's just sneezing a lot and his head feels clogged up. So he decides to stay home from church. Mrs. Jones decides to just stay home with him and the three kids, even though they are all old enough to completely get themselves ready for church.
Has anybody else noticed this phenomenon? I will call it the "all or nothing phenomenon". Meaning, either all the family members are going to come to church, or none of them will.
It's very odd to me. I wasn't raised that way, nor have we raised our family that way so it's very hard for me to understand the behavior or way of thinking behind it. In times past I actually experienced it (with nightmare staff) where if the pastor-husband was away at a conference or missions trip, the wife would stay home with the kids and not come to church. For those who say, "it's too hard for them to bring the kids on their own, I just ask...what do you think single mothers or fathers do all the time? Doing it for one week is a piece of cake compared to what these folks do.
I am just curious about what my readers think...
Comments
I may not be in the right frame of mind when I get there but by the time I leave I am.
Thanks be to God
"Excuses you hear them everyday...
Well, a headache Sunday morning and a backache Sunday night.
But by worktime Monday morning, you're feeling quite alright.
While one of the children has a cold, "Pneumonia, do you suppose?"
Why the whole family had to stay home, just to blow that poor kid's nose."
lol
Also sort of related to that...what's the point of showing up 30-45 minutes LATE for a church service? Are people really that disorganized? Do they think it doesn't matter because they're just going to church (much to the frustration of those who are trying to start a service with only half the people there!)? Do they really dislike praise and worship that much?
As a professor I know says on her syllabi each semester, "Being late/absent once in awhile happens to the best of us. Doing it repeatedly sends a message that you probably don't want to send."
Yes, I've seen this time and time again and often wondered myself but to be honest I have come to the conclusion that - some folk are just sitting and waiting for these very opportunities to stay home, I say opportunity because some actually think that they had a good excuse, some are but others are, well just an unexcused absence
So irritating!! A topic I believe needs to be addressed in all churches but HOW!?
Many families are exhausted and they are looking for any reason to get an extra day home on the weekend.
Is it right?
Not if it isn't a habit.
Is it wrong?
Only if it's a habit.
I happen to know all the commenters here personally and they are all multi-tasking working mothers (with exception of Pastor Leanne who is not a mother but a FT pastor) in FT ministry, management positions and some owning their own businesses, so they do understand the role you speak of. And some like Michele are in management and they are single Moms who press through and show up each time the doors are open with nobody to help her get there.
And I see our children's pastor's wife, Misty Mackley. Right now her husband has cancer and is in chemo treatments. Two weeks ago he was sick in the hospital on Sunday morning because he had caught a cold which is very dangerous with chemo. Obviously he was not at church. I didn't expect to see Misty or the kids there either and would have fully understood their absence as I thought they'd more than likely be at the hospital. But there they were on the second row of the service that morning. I'm telling you, I have to check that woman sometimes because I'm just sure she has wings!!! She's unbelievable in her commitment to the Lord, her family and the church and she works a FT job at Hillsborough Community College PLUS goes to college classes at night!
Maybe in your church you see this with the working mothers who are in management. I guess every church is different. In our situation, I find that those who have done this over the years in our church are not the working mothers in management positions who are burning the candle at both ends nor the single mothers. Every staff wife we ever had who did this was a SAHM. I don't say that to disparage SAHM's...it is just an observation.
I believe a lot of people share your viewpoint however they are not necessarily management positions but just Moms or Dads who are tired and want the day at home and this seems a plausible excuse. But what does it teach the kids? I've had staff actually tell me that before (we just want the day at home) and my response to that is, "we can give you LOTS of time at home, in fact, we can arrange for you to have weeks and weeks and weeks of time at home with nothing to do!" (In other words, resign the ministry if you don't want to come to church.)
It's just so foreign to me and difficult to understand.
Sometimes it seems the management women are much more faithful because they are simply used to multi-tasking and showing up. Just my theory.