Skip to main content

Re-entering the earth's atmosphere

I haven't fit back into my world since I came home.

I'm not going to give too much detail other than to say please pray for me, my blog readers. It was a challenging week while I was gone and this has made coming home and getting back on track difficult.

I'm the one that keeps our world on track. Things were difficult without me. No one really has any clue how much I do. They might think they do, but really no one truly knows to what extent. Sometimes the pressure on me is overwhelming. There's nothing I could have done to have lined anything up better before I left. We are talking about circumstances out of one's control.

Unfortunately I have come back not really to the same world, but one that is more challenging than when I left. Fitting the things God has done in me last week into my world I walked back into seems rather impossible. I have to admit to you I have given up on wearing eye makeup this week.

I try my best to be as honest as much as I can. So I'm just telling you, I am at a really low point right now. I did go to service yesterday morning, and also our church dinner last night. I was very tired after 33 hours of travel, but I really wanted to be there. I realize some of the way I may be reacting to the changes I've come home to could just be tiredness and fatigue. However, last night I went to bed early and got 9 and 1/2 hours sleep, which is a huge amount for me. I don't feel any better.

In case you are wondering if I'm clinically depressed, maybe so but probably not. Reason being - there's are real tangible reasons for me to feel this way - actual circumstances, not just a vague, "I don't know what's wrong with me and I just can't snap out of it." I felt like I was coming back from Africa from outerspace and re-entering the earth's atmosphere, the trip was so "other worldly." The issue is, I have reentered the atmosphere and it's a difficult one right now. Please pray for me because this Thursday is Thanksgiving and we have officially entered the holiday season ...


Anonymous said…
Here for you PD - Love you Michele
Oh Pastor Deanna! Please call me if you need me. I love you and know your heart is aching! To have God use you in such a way and then come home to such disappointment...I can totally relate!

Love you bunches and I'm so glad God answered all of our prayers. He took you safely, used you mightily and brought you back home.

Next time we'll pray that everything be in order when you return home. No nutiness on the home front to bring you down from your spiritual high.

Know that I love you...
Melissa Davis said…
God Bless you Pastor Deanna,

Glad to have you home safe with your loved ones. I know there's nothing I can do personally to make things better for you - ALTHOUGH I WISH IT WERE!

I will definately keep you in my prayers as well as the Fam. The best I can do besides prayer is send hugs & kisses your way, so here goes. . . . .

smooches & big hugs (smile)
Love you lots, Lady Sutton
Anonymous said…
I love you, am praying for you and am here for you.
Sue F
Praying for you girl.
Unknown said…
My heart aches for you. I'm really sorry and wish I could help in some way besides praying but I know that prayer is a powerful thing. I've often struggle with moodiness and it's always hard to explain. I find that staying in Gord's Word, searching for the positives and constantly rebuking the devil and telling him he's a liar were great weapons that helped. No matter what the devil says, know that you are loved and there's a whole bunch of people praying for you.

Hugs & Love...Kerry
Deborah said…
Deanna, my dear friend I dont have any great words of wisdom or even scripture to make everything right, all I can do is pray. Know that you are loved and that God will not shut the doors that have been opened to you. the woman of Africa cry for more people (woman) like you to grace our shores.The enemy would love to still the joy and anointing that you carry with you. we will stand together in agreement that what ever is going on will be resolved, and that you can refocus. Girl get rest you have had such a time of pouring out let someone now pour into you. wish i could take you for coffee and just hugg you till you feel better. you make a beautiful kenya ladie in your pink dress. love always me ps you can call me if you feel homesick for africa!
I am praying for you and your family. The enemy is a liar and is simply coming against you because of the incredible way God used you in Africa. Just know that you are loved and admired by many women and we are praying for you.

Kathi said…
Pastor Deanna -- I wouldn't worry just yet. This sounds like what my husband and I both struggled with after our respective missions trips, and even me after some in-country but away-from-home ministry work that turned out to be "other-worldly". I actually struggled with eating, and talked about selling our big house (which, at the time, was a trashy single wide mobile home!)...

I guess it took about a month to settle back into a semblance of "normal" - not crying often, not feeling guilty for being able to see a doctor when I wanted to, not feeling like I'd abandoned my family and they hadn't coped well in my absence...


Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we

Book giveaway starts TODAY!

Today begins a book giveaway here on the blog!  The more times you comment, the greater chance you have to win! A friend at Charisma House asked if I'd like to review some books and give some away.  What a delightful idea!  We will be giving away several books over the next few weeks.  I do need to let you know that these books have been provided to me free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. So here's how it's gonna work...for every time a reader leaves a comment on any of this week's blog posts today through Thursday, November 3 at midnight, or on the facebook comment thread when the same post publishes there, I will enter your name in the drawing one time.  You can comment more than once a day!  You get your name entered every single time you post.  So, comment away!  Let your voice be heard!    We will draw the winner's name at midnight on Thursday and announce it Friday morning.  The book will be mailed to you..  The first book we are g