Saturday, May 12, 2007

I'm a totally clueless mother

...but I'm so blessed! Thank heaven that God holds the clues for me! The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. I believe that extends not only to our sins but our mistakes. I've made a lot of them. God has been so merciful and made up for my inadequacies. Everyday I say to God, "I'm clueless. Please show me what to do." He has always been faithful.


Larry was a teenager when we married in Bible College and I was barely out of my teens. (We were 19 and 20) We didn't know our heads from a hole in the ground. Then we went into parenthood at a young age too (hence the reason some of our friends are just having kids right now and we have one graduating -Dustin who is 17, Jordan who is 16, and Savanna Rose who is 10.) and we also knew absolutely zippo about parenting. But we were committed totally to God and to one another, and determined to do whatever it took to do the right thing, whatever that meant.


Before you have kids you think you know it all. I sure did. I'd say things like, "My kid will never scream in the store like that." Then I had Jordan.

I said, "I don't want my kids to use pacifiers." Then I decided I would rather have a few hours sleep than care that my kid was sucking on a piece of rubber or plastic.

Before I had teens I said, "what kind of parents buy their kids cell phones? My kids will never have them. That's ridiculous!"

Then Columbine and 9/11 happened and I ate my words. My kids have cell phones now and they can reach me 24/7.

Our kids have turned out relatively well so far, for us being so clueless. I look at my kids Myspaces, and sometimes I just start praising God. I have so much to be thankful for. In a world where you look at many kid's myspaces and see nothing but photos of teen girls in the bathroom taking pictures from cameras held above them, aiming straight down their shirt showing most of their boobs - their bellies - and their tongue that is sticking out - with captions like, "WTF you b&!&#? I thought you were my BFF! You moved me from your top 8?" I look at my 17 year old son's Myspace and here's his bio that he wrote:



I am Dustin

I love Jesus Christ with everything in me

I eat more subway than Jared

I am a virgin, I will remain so until marriage

I don't set my profile to private like a pansy because I am not afraid of others seeing what I have to say

I like telling people stories

If you lie you don't deserve to have friends

I do not use periods at the end of my sentences

Using complex graphs and formulas I found a cure to world hunger, but I'm not telling

I am not big into sports and that sorta stuff

I have never done drugs or drank alcohol, I don't plan on starting

There is no book out there that will help you understand what is going on in girls heads, trust me

I believe firmly in the "you have to give respect to get it" statement

Creating music makes me feel really happy

As you noticed by the age to the top left of your screen, I am 17 years old

To some people this means nothing, but really it means I don't have enough life experience to properly handle your problems, sorry

I have skipped so many chain letters, one day I'm going to find a clown with a knife at my bed who will make sure I have bad luck with relationships until I am 78

My parents are my friends too

I have a list of the things I need in a woman, no girl I have met yet meets all of them

I have a list of people I want to prove wrong

I found waldo, he is boring


Thank you Jesus, that you took a clueless girl who had no idea how to raise kids and somehow helped me so that I didn't screw them up too much. As Mother's day approaches this weekend, despite all the stresses I face in mothering, I'm nevertheless so glad I'm a mother. Although many times I'm clueless, God holds all the clues and directs my path.

1 comment:

susan lilly said...

I just wanted to let you know that you are an awsome mother. I hope that one day when I get married and have kids that I will be just as good a mother as you are. Your a great example. Love you, Susan.