Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Mom Tip: Always Say Yes When You Can


I am often asked for Mom-advice, particularly the older my kids get. Of course, I've made a lot of mistakes, and readily admit that. I often share things I believe I've done right, too.

Today I'm going to share something that I believe is important...


Say yes whenever you possibly can.

Unless there is a compelling reason to say no, always say yes.

Then when you say no, it is clear -- it is understood as important and rare, but necessary.

I've noticed that some parents say no before their kids even get the request out of their mouth! It's like they are a broken record stuck on "no" about the smallest things from having a cookie to watching a movie.


Years ago, an older pastor gave Larry and I the advice, "Don't major in the minors."  We decided to apply that to both the church, and our home.

Let's break this down. I'm going to share with you how this works in our house. And some of you may say, "She's coo coo for cocoa puffs" and never read here again!


Savanna: Mom, can I eat leftover pizza for breakfast?

Me: Yep! 

Savanna: (In middle school) Mom, can I wear makeup?

Me: Sure. Let's go choose some, together.

Jordan: (In middle school) Mom, can I grow my hair long?

Me: Sure. 


Wasn't he a cutie?

Savanna: Mom, can I start my own blog?

Me: Yes!  Great idea. I'll help you if you want.



Savanna: Mom, can I wear my pajamas to Missionettes on Wednesday night? (Her pjs are fuzzy pants and a corresponding t-shirt and slippers.)

Me: Yes. (All the Missionette girls started doing this once she did. I'm sure all the parents just lovveeeed the pastors for allowing their daughter to do this first. Ha ha ha!)



Savanna: Mom, can I get my ears pierced the second time?

Me: Yes.

This was the first time, back in elementary school. Oh my gosh, look how scared my presshhious girl looks! 

Savanna: Mom, can I wear really high heels?

Me: Yes. Since we wear the same size you can try a pair from my closet first to make sure you actually want to wear them before we buy a pair for you.


Savanna: Mom can I go to *Janelle's to spend the night?

Me: No.

Savanna: Okay.

 ***

I don't know Janelle's family. I can get to know them, yes. But I don't know them, yet.

I do know that one in four girls will be sexually abused by the time they are 18.

I don't know Janelle's Mom, nor her step-father, nor her two older brothers. And for this reason, it is way too big of a risk for me to say yes to Savanna going over there to stay the night.At least right now.

Me: Janelle is welcome to spend the night here though.

Savanna: Okay, I'll mention that, but her Mom doesn't know any of us either, so she may say no.

Me: I understand. I don't blame her.
 
And that, my friends, is how yes and no work in my house.

Just some food for thought...




*Name changed

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