Skip to main content

Is Your Marriage Held Hostage By Rickle Rackle?


Larry and I noticed something a long time ago in our relationship. Rarely do we ever argue about issues that involve only the two of us. Most often, we're upset about someone else's issues that touch our lives in some way. The discussion of those problems has the potential to bring us to an impasse. Translation: a knock down drag out argument, minus violence.

Larry calls everything we fight about aside  from things that exclusively concern the two of us, "rickle rackle." It's his own special label for it.

Rickle rackle:
 an argument that would be non-existent if it was required to only be about us with no other person or thing involved.  

Reviewing everything we've ever argued about, we realized that's pretty much...everything.

For us, this was an amazing revelation. When we finally realized that what we fought about had almost nothing to do with the two of us, we were able to see that we were allowing outside forces to pull us apart.

So many times Larry has looked at me and said, "you know babe, this is crazy. It's not even about US. Our relationship is more important than this rickle rackle, so let's let this go, for our sake..."

We've learned to:

Identify rickle rackle.
Focus on what's important.
Refuse to let anyone or anything destroy us.

For some reason I felt like somebody out there just needed to hear this today, so for whatever it's worth...there it is.

Much love,

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This Could Have Ruined Everything... (But It Didn't!)

 No one would ever guess what happened to me this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida...so I'm going to tell you. :) As I was preaching at the Fearless Tour at New Hope Assembly of God this weekend,  I got choked up, literally. For probably 2-3 minutes I coughed profusely and greatly struggled. Then I drank some water and kept preaching. Everyone was gracious to give me a few moments to get my bearings. If you were there, you'll remember it! What no one realized at the time was that I swallowed a bug that flew right in while I was preaching! So disgusting! I said nothing because I was at a point in the sermon where I was really connecting and I knew if I said, "I swallowed a bug," everyone would either laugh profusely or be really concerned, or start feeling sorry for me.  And at that point whey wouldn't be thinking about the message anymore, but the fact that I had just swallowed a bug. They would then imagine what it would be like, and feel grossed out which

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no

Why You Should Never Hijack a Comment Thread
Social media etiquette 101

One surefire way to kill your influence in social media and wear out your welcome fast is to become involved in derailing somebody’s comment thread with your own agenda. Networking and hijacking aren’t the same thing. It’s surprising how many people don’t understand that this is a guarantee for tearing down a platform as quickly as you build it. Passion is good, even necessary. I appreciate people's zeal for their personal core values. What is not appreciated is the attempt at a redirection of a comment thread when the comment has little or nothing to do with an original post or is twisted at best. Social media provides ample opportunity for all of us to share what’s important to us on our own platform. Eliciting others’ responses and developing connections largely depends on our ability to communicate and compel. Some people are open to receiving private communication from others although they aren’t always able to answer personally or at length. But hijacking a comment threa