Skip to main content

What To Do First to Make a Profit

The PF Women Team at our Annual Team Retreat  ~ 2018 Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said: It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way. Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're  not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director.  Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year.  God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory! I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started inve

3 Ways to Succeed in a Marriage With Someone You Don't Agree With



 "It was difficult to keep listening to a liar all morning..."


My husband said this to the pastor we worked with at the time, after the kickoff of the church's weekend marriage conference. It's important to note, the pastor wasn't the speaker!  Our pastor we worked with at the time had brought a ministry couple in to speak for the weekend and after the first session, asked the staff members our impressions of how things were going.

My husband formed a strong opinion almost immediately after the guest minister started speaking because he said, "I just want you all to know, we've got such a strong marriage, my wife and I haven't had even one argument in over twenty years!"

My husband leaned over to me and whispered, "Either he's a bold faced liar, or the marriage is completely dead and they haven't had a real conversation for 20 years..."

Larry's suspicions were right. I'm not sure if the guy was a liar or they simply didn't speak, but we were not shocked when we heard that this ministry couple divorced years later.

Here's the truth: in any successful relationship, there are areas where you don't agree. My husband and I always say, "If both of us were the same, one of us would be unnecessary!"  

We are both very strong personalities, are not always in agreement, not just on little piddly things but sometimes matters of greater importance. So, how do we do it? How do we not only peacefully co-exist in a marriage where we don't always agree, but keep it hot in all the right ways even when we don't agree?

This is not a complete list, but today I'm sharing 3 ways to keep a marriage hot even in time of disagreement:

1) Fight fair.

Arguments need to have boundaries. No verbal abuse, name calling, or disrespect. It's important to note, this needs to be two sided. The bible calls for mutual respect among marriage partners - not respect one way. Larry and I have had a lot of strong disagreements but one line we never cross is that of verbal abuse or name calling. We have disrespected each other more than a time or two and needed to ask forgiveness.

2) Allow for differences

I've heard a lot of bad advice in my life. One of them, often thrown around especially in Christiandom is, "you need to come into agreement with your spouse." I understand the spirit of this, but anything taken to an extreme will hurt a relationship.  Ecclesiastes 7:18 says, "Pay attention to these instructions, for anyone who fears God will avoid both extremes." Two people are never going to agree on absolutely everything. There are a few key issues that, it is absolutely imperative to work toward coming into agreement with your spouse. But I have found those issues to be few and far between, in a healthy relationship.

3) Don't pull away.

Just because we don't agree means we have to distance ourselves. There are times I get frustrated that Larry and I don't agree on something. But, I know if I allow a physical or emotional distance on my part, I am cutting off an opportunity for conversation to take place to create possibility for change in either one of us. It's important to stay close no matter what issues are on the table. This creates an environment to have positive and powerful discussion and move your relationship, and the issues, forward.

The Bible describes marriage as a mystery and I'm convinced just one reason is because true marriage is the blending of two without ever losing yourself. It's not about becoming a clone of your spouse.

Sometimes the perfect combination is...the opposite.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no

Excellent teaching on Criticism

My friend Pastor Leanne posted this today on her Myspace blog and I thought it was excellent and so timely. It's a blog post from Pastor Perry Noble , about criticism. I think it's perfect for the pastors at Relevant Church right now, as well as any other person going through this. I would like to note that when he says, "when God begins to move" it wouldn't necessarily just pertain to your church but to your life, your family, your marriage, anything that concerns you. I have found that the greater God does things in my life and the more He blessed me the more I should expect it. This teaching is good, so good I was almost wavin' a hanky in my office. Okay, here we go... You Will Be Criticized When God Begins To Move–Expect It And Get Over It. (Pastor Perry Noble at http://www.perrynoble.com/ ) I've never met a devil worshiper–to my knowledge that is. When I first became a Christian I was convinced that I needed to do all that I could to be ready to c

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we