Skip to main content

3 Things (Guaranteed) to Get Your Husband or Wife's Attention


Listen to them without interrupting

Who doesn't like to be listened to?  Let me tell you, people are CRAZY about being heard. And the amazing thing is, when you just do nothing but listen, somehow they turn it around and call you a genius. I kid you not. I have counseled people in the church and let them talk for fifty-five minutes straight without me saying a word. I've just listened. Handed them tissues to dry their tears. Then listened some more. The last five minutes of our time they finally say, "what do you think, PD?" I give feedback for a minute or two, and then they leave saying, "Oh my, this was totally amazing! It's changed my entire outlook. I feel like a different person..."

Really, this happens...

All. The. Time.

I keep waiting for somebody to figure out, I'm really not that smart.  But they just keep falling for this listening trick, and think I'm brilliant.


Listening works the same for your husband or wife. Just listen and let them talk until they have exhausted every word they have to say and finally ask, "what do you think?"

Don't interrupt.  Listen.

If they don't ask what you think, don't fret. Just nod and give them a hug at the end. 

You're going to be amazed at what happens. Amazed, I tell you!


Say, "I am so proud of you."

Everybody longs to hear these magic words. To some people it even means more than, "I love you."  And there's nobody greater to hear it from than the person you're married to. But for some reason we so often forget to say it.

Say it. Even if they act like it's no big deal, they desperately want to hear this. They are craving it.

Give it to them. Not just once or twice. Tell them on a regular basis, "I'm so proud of you, babe." Be as specific as you can. That takes it to a whole new level.

"I'm so proud of you for how you solve the challenges at your job."
"I'm so proud of you for how you are doing in school."
"I'm so proud of you for how you are as a mother/father."
"I'm so proud to be married to you. You're amazing."


Kiss them for at least 30 seconds

The 30-second thing keeps you out of the boring routine of little pecks on the lips or cheek before you part ways to leave to go to work.  Don't fall into this dull existence. Lay it on them. Fire it up! Give them something to think about throughout the day. They will probably get a little excited when you give them this 30 second kiss. They may even ask if you can be a little late to work. :)

 Thirty seconds doesn't seem like a long time, but try it. It's longer than you think it is. (Please brush your teeth really well or pop in a mint before you do this.)

I didn't promise you anything but attention in this post. I promise, doing the above three things will get their attention. Doing all of them together is dropping a love-bomb on them. What you do with it from there is up to you. That's a post for another day but I advise you, choose wisely my friends! Once you have their attention, maximize the moment and use it for good purposes.




*Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This Could Have Ruined Everything... (But It Didn't!)

 No one would ever guess what happened to me this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida...so I'm going to tell you. :) As I was preaching at the Fearless Tour at New Hope Assembly of God this weekend,  I got choked up, literally. For probably 2-3 minutes I coughed profusely and greatly struggled. Then I drank some water and kept preaching. Everyone was gracious to give me a few moments to get my bearings. If you were there, you'll remember it! What no one realized at the time was that I swallowed a bug that flew right in while I was preaching! So disgusting! I said nothing because I was at a point in the sermon where I was really connecting and I knew if I said, "I swallowed a bug," everyone would either laugh profusely or be really concerned, or start feeling sorry for me.  And at that point whey wouldn't be thinking about the message anymore, but the fact that I had just swallowed a bug. They would then imagine what it would be like, and feel grossed out which

I'm Just Being Transparent...

This year at the Stronger Conference, a young minister stopped me as I was walking out of the room at the conclusion of a workshop and she said, "I want to tell you something..." (I was all ears.) She said, "Do you notice how many of the speakers this weekend are saying, "Now, I'm just being transparent when I tell you..." or "I'm just keepin' it real..." I nodded yes. In fact, I mentioned that I was one of those speakers. I think I probably said a few times in both my keynote message and my workshop that I was just "keepin' it real." After I affirmed that yes, I had noticed that -- she said, "Do you know why they have to do that? They do it...and you do it, because so many people don't keep it real. So many in leadership aren't transparent, Deanna. That's why all these people speaking here feel an urge to declare their transparency.." I let her know that usually when I say, "I'm just kee

What To Do First to Make a Profit

The PF Women Team at our Annual Team Retreat  ~ 2018 Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said: It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way. Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're  not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director.  Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year.  God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory! I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started inve