Listen to them without interrupting
Who doesn't like to be listened to? Let me tell you, people are CRAZY about being heard. And the amazing thing is, when you just do nothing but listen, somehow they turn it around and call you a genius. I kid you not. I have counseled people in the church and let them talk for fifty-five minutes straight without me saying a word. I've just listened. Handed them tissues to dry their tears. Then listened some more. The last five minutes of our time they finally say, "what do you think, PD?" I give feedback for a minute or two, and then they leave saying, "Oh my, this was totally amazing! It's changed my entire outlook. I feel like a different person..."
Really, this happens...
All. The. Time.
I keep waiting for somebody to figure out, I'm really not that smart. But they just keep falling for this listening trick, and think I'm brilliant.
Listening works the same for your husband or wife. Just listen and let them talk until they have exhausted every word they have to say and finally ask, "what do you think?"
Don't interrupt. Listen.
If they don't ask what you think, don't fret. Just nod and give them a hug at the end.
You're going to be amazed at what happens. Amazed, I tell you!
Say, "I am so proud of you."
Everybody longs to hear these magic words. To some people it even means more than, "I love you." And there's nobody greater to hear it from than the person you're married to. But for some reason we so often forget to say it.
Say it. Even if they act like it's no big deal, they desperately want to hear this. They are craving it.
Give it to them. Not just once or twice. Tell them on a regular basis, "I'm so proud of you, babe." Be as specific as you can. That takes it to a whole new level.
"I'm so proud of you for how you solve the challenges at your job."
"I'm so proud of you for how you are doing in school."
"I'm so proud of you for how you are as a mother/father."
"I'm so proud to be married to you. You're amazing."
Kiss them for at least 30 seconds
The 30-second thing keeps you out of the boring routine of little pecks on the lips or cheek before you part ways to leave to go to work. Don't fall into this dull existence. Lay it on them. Fire it up! Give them something to think about throughout the day. They will probably get a little excited when you give them this 30 second kiss. They may even ask if you can be a little late to work. :)
Thirty seconds doesn't seem like a long time, but try it. It's longer than you think it is. (Please brush your teeth really well or pop in a mint before you do this.)
I didn't promise you anything but attention in this post. I promise, doing the above three things will get their attention. Doing all of them together is dropping a love-bomb on them. What you do with it from there is up to you. That's a post for another day but I advise you, choose wisely my friends! Once you have their attention, maximize the moment and use it for good purposes.
*Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net