Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Do you feel respected?

Many times when people bring up respect in marriage, it's not in a mutual context, and Larry and I have come to believe that it's one of the main reasons many marriages don't last.

Strong marriages have a high degree of mutual respect. Not one sided respect. God never intended respect to be one sided. That just makes for a lopsided, out of balance relationship and it's no wonder why many marriages don't last. Even in lasting marriages, many are not truly happy because God never intended for us to disrespect anybody, man or woman.

Larry and I shared openly with the couples in New Smyrna Beach on Sunday that there hasn't always been mutual respect in our relationship. That was the reason for some seasons of unhappiness. Since we have fixed this problem, things have gone a lot better.

One way to find out if there is a good deal of respect in your marriage is simply ask your partner: "Do you feel respected in our relationship?"  Resist the urge to defend yourself, attack or answer back when they share their feelings. Ask and just listen. Then, switch places and ask the same question. 

I'm going to share more about this tomorrow, so come back for part two.

2 comments:

aimee said...

Amen!! Respect is very important in any relationship. I don't know how the two of you could fix respect in relationship.. Kudos to you because that's the hardest thing to get back once it is lost..

Deanna Shrodes said...

I am not sure if your comment is a statement or a question. Respect means that while my husband and I may not always agree on everything we honor one another’s right to have our feelings, viewpoints and desires. For us it's giving the other person freedom for that. And, making clear that you expect the same in return and setting respectful but firm boundaries to ensure that.