Skip to main content

Do you feel respected?

Many times when people bring up respect in marriage, it's not in a mutual context, and Larry and I have come to believe that it's one of the main reasons many marriages don't last.

Strong marriages have a high degree of mutual respect. Not one sided respect. God never intended respect to be one sided. That just makes for a lopsided, out of balance relationship and it's no wonder why many marriages don't last. Even in lasting marriages, many are not truly happy because God never intended for us to disrespect anybody, man or woman.

Larry and I shared openly with the couples in New Smyrna Beach on Sunday that there hasn't always been mutual respect in our relationship. That was the reason for some seasons of unhappiness. Since we have fixed this problem, things have gone a lot better.

One way to find out if there is a good deal of respect in your marriage is simply ask your partner: "Do you feel respected in our relationship?"  Resist the urge to defend yourself, attack or answer back when they share their feelings. Ask and just listen. Then, switch places and ask the same question. 

I'm going to share more about this tomorrow, so come back for part two.

Comments

aimee said…
Amen!! Respect is very important in any relationship. I don't know how the two of you could fix respect in relationship.. Kudos to you because that's the hardest thing to get back once it is lost..
I am not sure if your comment is a statement or a question. Respect means that while my husband and I may not always agree on everything we honor one another’s right to have our feelings, viewpoints and desires. For us it's giving the other person freedom for that. And, making clear that you expect the same in return and setting respectful but firm boundaries to ensure that.

Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we

I am a Spiritual Abuse Survivor
Guest Post: Leanne Weber

I met Leanne Weber years ago through Pastoring Partners Network . She now serves as one of our amazing PPN writers. Back when I first met her she was pastoring and in the midst of an abusive church situation. I as well as several of our other leaders at PPN walked through that painful journey with her and observed her as she went from hurting to whole. She's got an amazing story to share and the following is just part of it. Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.             I am a certifiable mess right now. I cannot get any work done, because I don't even want to be here. I am just...tired. I am tired of dealing with church people. If I was truly called, then I'd be able to handle this. I am sick of the only thing keeping me here being the fact that we have bills to pay, and we are finally in a place where we are fi