Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Do you feel respected?
Part 2

Do you secretly believe that you are better than, or superior to your partner in some way?  

Many people believe that if their husband or wife was just more like them or would just do things their way, their relationship issues would be fixed.

WRONG. 

This is a lie of the enemy.  It's also why in many marriages one person refuses to go to counseling. (They don't think they have any problems -- they think everything is the other person's fault.)

Mutual respect starts with coming to terms with the fact that your spouse is a capable person worthy of respect. You have different gifts, but you are both just as valuable. 

Competition is a marriage killer. Your spouse may not be as good as you are at organization, or baseball, or cooking, or gardening or whatever. But, guess what? You aren't as good as they are at many things. Which of you is better? The only answer in a successful partnership is neither! 

Partnership can never be about whom is better. Partnership is about recognizing each person's strengths and our own weaknesses. Yes, you read that right! In your weak areas, your role is to recognize your own weaknesses and do something about them without focusing on your partner's. That is their job.  You haven't been called to be their Holy Ghost.

By the way, these are all hard things Larry and I have had to learn over the past 25 years and we are still learning.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is certainly true. We all have our place in marriage. My husband says there are certain things that I'm capable of doing. But this one I know you can do,because if I try to do it,I'm liable to make it worse or mess it up completely. And as you put it,yes it took years to learn. We are happy to have found our place in marriage. I tell you something it surely releases alot of stress from having to do or even try to do it all by yourself. Marriage after all is a partnership not ownership.....