Tuesday, September 27, 2011

We're fighting over BOWLS

This is what happens every time I'm getting ready to preach somewhere.  My husband and I start to have some very intense moments of fellowship.  ::smiles::   Sometimes it's over big things and sometimes it's over stuff like bowls.

You might want to click this link before you go any further, and come back, just to have a good understanding on what I'm about to say here.  I know many pastors won't admit stuff like this, but Larry and I aren't most pastors and we will tell you right up front that what you see it what you get.  The other night,  Jeff Staudte,  our missionary guest at Celebration said, "This is the most REAL church I've been to in a long, long time!"  Well it starts with the pastors. This is real life, folks. 

Men stereotypically accuse women of being complicated.  We get accused of playing games, not really saying what we mean, saying one thing and meaning another, yada yada yada.

I often tell my husband how blessed I think he is because if I'm the opposite of anything it's vague.  He NEVER has to wonder what I'm thinking.  I don't play games.  The downside of this is, I do have the tendency to be too demanding.  For 25 years I have told him what's important to me with absolutely no complication involved.  The problem comes in when I articulate that clearly and we are diametrically opposed.  Saying exactly what you mean or what you want in the clearest fashion possible doesn't matter if two people don't agree on something.

Today we got in a fight about bowls.  And bless God, we were both holding our ground, not giving an inch! 

Yeah, seriously.  We're fighting about bowls.  We're fighting about it like our lives depend on it.  In my opinion, they do.  But I'll get to that in a minute...

 I'm not surprised at this sudden argument.  We are experiencing an amazing breakthrough at Celebration Church.  We just had our biggest Sunday EVER.  And,  I'm getting ready to travel and preach in four locations the next two weeks and that doesn't count our church!  I know God is getting ready to do big things in all these places.  Whenever something big is getting ready to happen spiritually, Larry and I argue more.  It's a spiritual warfare thing. 

He came home from the office today and announced to me that he had to go out and get some things to make a repair here at the house and then quickly and nonchalantly added, "I'm also getting some plastic bowls."

[gasp]

He knows how I feel about this.  He's been married to me for almost 25 years so he knows his calm little announcement about the bowls was a warning to me about what he was about to do.  Bowls, arsenic, to me it's all the same.

I hate plastic.  I never use it in eating or drinking unless I'm at somebody else's house or event where I absolutely HAVE to.  I don't complain if I'm somewhere else.  (Obviously I've been to third world countries to minister and eaten in slums let alone off of plastic.)  But when I'm home I have a choice.  I have all glass stuff in my office and home, except for what Larry sneaks in.  Some people are hoping their husband won't sneak porn or beer, I'm praying against plastic. In particular I don't want plastic anything going in the microwave, for this reason.    It's been scientifically proven to be dangerous, unless it's the specially treated kind of plastic that's not.  I am always harping on the kids about not leaving plastic water bottles in the car and then drinking from them again.  Really, it's not good for you.

Larry says he just gets the bowls for cereal, which is cold.  I understand his point, and the truth is, that's not all they are used for.  The kids use them in the microwave, especially when we aren't around and there are no clean glass bowls and they don't feel like washing them.  Kids can be lazy that way, even my three darlings.  They leave the dirty glass bowls in the sink and  grab a plastic one from the cupboard and stick it in the microwave.  They do this the same way they refuse to use their sunscreen when they are away at camp for a week and we aren't watching them.  They always come home with sunburn and I get upset.  The first thing I say is, "Tell me the amazing things God did in your life this week!"  The second thing I say after hearing the spiritual report is, "Why didn't you listen to me about the sunscreen?"  I know if these are the worst things my kids do, I'm in great shape!  Most people are praying their kids stay off of drugs.  Meanwhile I'm praying mine don't use plastic bowls or go out in the sun without protection.

Stop laughing.

I care about the health of my family.  

So I don't want plastic stuff in the house where they can eat off of it, period.

Larry seems focused on getting these plastic bowls. No, he's not doing this just to assert his manhood.  As much as I hate plastic, he seems to love it.  I notice that when we're out somewhere most times he will actually CHOOSE a plastic cup to drink from.   Maybe he's trying to commit suicide? (Have I been that demanding?)  

I expressed exactly how I feel about this - but he still seems to think we need plastic bowls because they won't break.  And glass things have a tendency to break.   A lot of our glass bowls have broken.  He's right about that.  He is tired of things breaking.  I understand.  No problem, I'll gladly clean it up myself if it's saving lives.

So when he boldly declared his intentions to purchase these plastic bowls come heck or high water, I said, "Whatever Larry!  Get your plastic bowls but the moment I see the kids put one in the microwave or you pull one out when we have guests here, I don't know if I'll be able to control myself.  Postal-Deanna will be in full mode at the moment I see one of these with a residue of oatmeal or chili or after one of your nights where you have the guys over for football!!!"

[Larry rolls his eyes and shakes his head and walks out to go to the store.  I think he might be convinced he is married to a psycho or at least someone who is really hormonally challenged.  Maybe he is.  Whatever, at least I'm an honest hormonally challenged psycho.]

He may be right but one thing I know is, when we're fighting over BOWLS... bowls for God's sake, I know the Holy Ghost is getting ready to bowl somebody over big time when I preach in North Carolina this weekend.

Hold on to your seats!


p.s.  Larry just came  home from the store.  With six bowls.  All glass.  Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!

Thanks too babe, for considering my words and my desires once you got to the store.  I love you and I'm so glad you're going to live longer.  You're my world.

2 comments:

Larry said...

John 8:32

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cancer-causes/CA00085

Deanna Shrodes said...

I love you more than words can say and am so glad you got the glass bowls, and...

Sometimes conflicting reports on the "truth" are given.

http://www.medicinenet.com/plastic/article.htm

http://bodyecology.com/articles/microwave_dangers.php

http://trusted.md/blog/vreni_gurd/2007/03/29/plastic_water_bottles#axzz1ZCGYZc26

There are MANY reports on BOTH sides, and I realize some call this a hoax, but with my family's health I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Instead of being concerned that I may be wrong about plastic, be glad I'm so concerned about YOU. <3