Thursday, June 23, 2011

The time in between

"There are very few things you can be sure of in life, and anything could happen even if you're not expecting it.  For instance, I could go out of here today and be hit by a truck.   Let's not become wrapped up in worry about these results because anything COULD happen in life but we aren't going to focus on that, instead we are going to believe for the best."

Those are the words my doctor said to me yesterday before letting me know that we're officially in a time of "not knowing."  While I got many good results yesterday, in fact things to do a "jumping up and down praise report" about,  the test result we were most concerned about was not completely normal.  But it wasn't conclusive either and is the kind of thing that needs to be tested over time to know for sure.  So, I need to be tested again in six months.  Until then she's given me orders to get in the best shape of my life, being that I need to do that no matter what the results might be in six months because being in shape can only help the situation, not hurt. 

I was disappointed in the results being that I'm a black and white person ~ don't deal with gray very well, and wanted to leave her office with something definitive.

After hashing it all out with God and a few of my closest friends I have now come to something conclusive to hang my hat on and that is that for whatever reason God wants me in this gray area for six months because it's where He's put me.  WHAT can I learn from this?  We're about to find out.

This is my anthem as I walk this journey, trusting completely in my Father:



Those of you who are regular readers...thanks for your continued prayers as I come to mind.  I find it very easy to pray for others, for miracles, and receive them.  I have prayed for the lame to walk and they have walked.  I have prayed for instantaneous deliverance for others and it has happened.  Yet in praying for myself, this is where my faith is weakest.  Perhaps that is the area God wants to take care of in all of this -- I don't know.  But I'm being obedient.  I'm building my faith, believing for me just like I've believed for thousands of others.  I'm learning a new level of trust.  More victories will be won as I continue to work hard on getting my body in the shape God wants it in.  I've already lost 15 pounds and I need to lose at least 15 more by the time I get re-tested.   His grace will empower me where I am weak and think I really can't do this.  I also have the best friends and family in the world, and a church family that is absolutely indescribable on whose prayers I do soar and will continue to soar.

So much of this is a battlefield of the mind.  I will overcome...even in this "time in between."  Eventually it will be settled.  Right now, God has something for me to learn.  I will obey. I will learn.  I will grow.  I will soar!!!

2 comments:

Ruth said...

You are His princess and God is in control! Praying for you!

Melissa said...

You have my prayers! I believe that God can and will make things clear and there will be no more gray areas when it concerns your health! He is a miracle working God and He knows your heart and faith! He can move mountains with the faith of a mustard seed and I know you have more faith than that! :) Love you and praying!