Sunday, February 27, 2011

Okay, so I have trust issues.

"Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future.
     It's  simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step."
                                                                   - Joni Erickson Tada

Every year in our life coaching group I have the women select a "word of the year" to focus on as their theme.  Several of them have used "trust" as their word in the past and we've got some who chose that word  this year too.  I've never chosen the word, "trust," but probably should have.

To say I have had and still have trust issues is an understatement.  I won't go into why...it wouldn't just be a blog post for another day...it would probably be the longest blog series ever.  And I doubt anybody wants to read blog posts for several months about why I find it hard to trust people.  As a kid I went on one of those ropes courses that you go on to build trust with others, and  I miserably failed.  I'm really glad as an adult nobody has ever invited me to go on one of those God-forsaken missions  where you're expected to let someone push your rear end over a wall while others promise to catch you or you fall backwards into their arms blindfolded.  Who thinks up this kind of stuff anyway?  People who must already have a lot of trust and enjoy watching others wipe their sweaty palms all day, and throw up in the weeds as they go along, wondering when the day is finally going to be over.  

I don't mean what I'm about to say in a negative way although no matter how I say it it may come across that way.  All I can say is the intent of my heart is simply one of introspection, not negativity...

I am not sure my earthly trust issues can ever be resolved. Improved...yes.  Resolved...hmmm...I dunno.  I'm in full time vocational ministry.  If you wonder what I mean by that, well, you probably aren't in full time vocational ministry.  Something's always coming up to upset my trust apple cart.   I've given up on trying to resolve the earthly issues and instead have solely focused myself on trusting the Lord.   

When I come across challenges or things I am concerned about possibly becoming a challenge I have reminded myself to trust the Lord.   I frequently remind myself that He is there 24/7, right alongside me, guiding me, helping me, strengthening me, empowering me.  I'm  never alone.  Sometimes I even say those things out loud.  I speak them...which is important.  What you speak you give life to. So I speak.

God is my certainty in an uncertain world.  I will take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6  

 

1 comment:

Rhonda said...

At least your trust is in the right place my friend and I love your quote "God is my certainty in an uncertain world" Thanks for your honesty!