Wednesday, February 09, 2011

"I'll take potato chips for 200, Alex..." NOT!!!!!

Yesterday I had meetings most of the day and my husband went to the airport to get his parents late in the afternoon  as they were coming in from Maryland for the week.  My workday ended at 5:45 PM and then we all headed out Kobe for dinner, which is our family's favorite place to eat together for special occasions.

Right before we left for dinner I called my husband in the room to tell him of a difficult decision I was faced with  right at the tail end of the day.  I didn't ask him to solve it -- it's something that is mine to deal with -- I just wanted a hug, and he obliged.  

I don't enjoy the pressure that often accompanies leadership.  First, there is the kind of pressure that spurs you on to be a better leader.  A person who served as my life/church coach told me that we all tend to lead better in a crisis.  This is true for me at times.  I see amazing things come of the critical times when I need to rise to the occasion and stretch to become a better leader.  Then there are other types of things that aren't really great opportunities to grow as a leader, they are just stressful daily decisions.  I am talking about the kind of stupid stuff that just wears on you and causes stress.  I really believe in my heart of hearts if people knew the inside scoop of how these things wear on a leader, they would not do them.   Unless they are psycho or demon possessed they wouldn't and the majority of people are not either of those things, they are just unaware.  When you don't know better,  you don't do better.

I chafed at the fact that I was being faced with this at 5:30 pm.  Why couldn't I have faced this at 10:30 am, versus 5:30 pm?   (Because the enemy strategically plans when leaders are most vulnerable.  He loves to steal, kill and destroy a leader's family time.)  If I received this communication earlier in the day  I would have had the day to process it and not be slammed with it right before my family dinner when I would have to fight to compartmentalize it and enjoy myself.  Men are great at shoving things in a mental file drawer and going on to something else til' they want to open it again.  Women, not so much.  Nevertheless I've learned how valuable family time and personal time is and I was determined not to let this ruin my whole evening.  I shoved it in a mental side drawer and headed out to dinner.  We had a great time.  I didn't think of "the decision" even once!  I just completely enjoyed  watching the chef cook the food, my in-love's bantering over the hot tea they were drinking, talking about our favorite aspects of the meal, and all kinds of other stuff.   Larry took this photo of our chef cooking the food...

We came home and I spent some time with my in-love's, and then when my mother-in-love went to bed (she's real tired these days -- just had 3 major operations, bless her heart) I decided to do my kickboxing DVD to try to work off all the calories I ate at dinner.  Quite truthfully the file drawer kept wanting to open up, beckoning me to think about "the decision" again.  I started becoming stressed out that I had this on my plate to deal with.  I put on the DVD, and allowed myself to think about the situation.  I decided to do this so that I could acknowledge my feelings while I punched and kicked.  This is a much better alternative than getting angry and eating a bag of Utz Potato Chips that are sitting in my cabinet since a wonderful church member brought 8 bags of them back to us on vacation from Maryland.   Deanna who is not in her right mind spiritually would eat the bag of chips to try to stuff the anger.  Deanna empowered by the grace of God says, "no, through the power of God I'll deal with this in a way that promotes my wellness not my harm."  I'm proud of how I responded.  At the end of the workout I felt energized to go forward and do what I already knew I had to do, versus doing what I had to do anyway and giving myself a dose of harm in the process.   

Robert Schuller once said, "Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made."

Because of the core values I hold, I made the decision before I ever started punching and kicking my way to wellness in body and mind.  Now I just need to act on the decision, which I will do today.  If faced with a stressful response, the same kickboxing DVD, my bicycle, AND most importantly, Jesus await me.  Potato chips aren't my answer.  

2 comments:

Ruth said...

OMW Utz sourcream and onion chips are my favorite snack. I love them a bit too much...if ya know what I mean!!

Rhonda said...

you are an inspiration my friend. Amazing what we can do with the power of God!