Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Calculating friendship

Do you know how many friends you have on facebook?

I don't know how many I have.  Honestly, even for the writing of this post, I resisted the urge to look.  I know it's probably a good number because the last time I glanced at the number which was a few months ago if memory serves me correctly I think it was in the neighborhood of 700 something.  But I couldn't tell you exact numbers to save my life.  And I really don't care. 

I do know some people who check their number daily, sometimes more than once.  And whether it goes up or down means a lot to them.  So much so, that if the number goes down they work through process of elimination to figure out who deleted them.   

I not only find the idea of calculating facebook friends to be a very exhausting idea, but the idea of it strikes me as insecure. 


Something I've tried to live by and also teach my kids is that when something like that happens to you whether on facebook or real life, look at it as an opportunity for more room being made for others in your life.  

Facebook is a great networking tool but not a true representation of my relationships.  

Another decision I've come to through experience is that I don't delete anybody I find irritating (just creates needless drama at times that I don't need) and so I "hide" them instead and move on. 

What about you?

4 comments:

Robin said...

Facebook... a blessing and a curse! Al though I don't delete people who irritate me, I have deleted 2 individuals who left our church with hostility and were posting rude replies on all of my postings. They were also telling people everything I posted was about them so I felt it was better not to daily deal with the drama.

Deanna said...

I agree with you, Robin. Overall fb is a blessing to me and helps me to keep in touch with others especially in my serving as a pastor it helps in giving another avenue to keep a pulse on what's going on in people's lives and encourage them. However, I have also experienced exactly what you describe and I understand completely why you would delete such folks. Keep in mind when they do that, though, they show everyone exactly what they are made of. Although it was exhausting for you to deal with for the time you did, one good thing is, it exposes them to the congregation for who/what they are and makes your pastor's job easier! :) Their actions boomerang to completely give your pastor a defense all by itself.

pastorleanne said...

I use FB primarily to keep in touch with friends and family members who are far away - I do add people from church who request me [I like my life to be as drama-free as possible!!!], but I honestly don't pay a ton of attention to their posts, since I see them on a regular basis.

I'm a little old-fashioned that way - I like face-to-face quality time vs. social networking [when possible!]; actual books instead of a Kindle; and although I blog, I also keep a written journal, because sometimes writing instead of typing just feels better :o).

Side note: As someone who works with kids, I make it a policy to NOT request them as my friends on FB. Ever. If they friend me, I will add them, but for me, it's an integrity issue - better safe than sorry....

Deanna said...

Makes sense, Pastor Leanne. Good thoughts.