Saturday, August 28, 2010

The case against keeping things to yourself

If you are in a difficult situation and wondering for the sake of all concerned if it would be easier to keep things to yourself...the answer is NO.   Now, before I go further, please go read this.

I'll wait.  I'm absolutely begging you to go read it.  Seriously, if you're going to understand this post you have to go read this link and then come back to me.  

Okay, now that you've done that, let me just rest my case that it's a bad idea for you to keep some details to yourself.  Open up to a few trusted friends about what you are really going through.  We are designed by our creator for at least a few close, accountable relationships.  My friend reached out...but not far enough.  As you can see by the comment stream below her post...we reached back, but didn't push hard enough.   Sometimes we are just a "listening ear" for our friends or we respect what they say without a challenge when one is needed.  There's a time to listen, also a time to speak up.  I wish I had another chance to make this right.    

I made a facebook page for my friend to honor her memory.  Here's the link.    It's under, "A tribute to Deborah Hosmer Meyer" if the link doesn't work for you just do a search on facebook.  I know many of you blog readers do not know her.  However it would make me very happy if you join the group on facebook just to honor her memory.  I am not sure why but a previous page set up by a family member to honor her memory was deleted.  The silence is unacceptable. We who are friends are raising our voices, for her memory must be honored.  She leaves a legacy of encouragement and love for women all around the world, and we will not forget her nor will we be silent.  The last 24 hours I've been going back and reading all her blog posts and re-posting some of them on the memorial page, being blessed all over again by her insights.

Thank you for joining this group, even if you didn't know her.  I want you to know she affected me and so many others and so in that way, she affects you because our lives were changed.   A few months ago on her blog she was speaking about leaving a legacy and she wrote this:  "An act of love and kindness may not change the course of history but if it changes the course of someone’s life it’s worth it." 

She did change the course of my life and many others.  Thanks for honoring her for it.  And thanks for making a decision to not be a recluse, to not hide when you're in private pain, but to tell someone before it's too late.  You aren't alone...really.

2 comments:

Ruth said...

Deanna, these are the times I wish I had more resources. I would love to see a women's shelter named "Deborah's House" after her. There are so many women who need to leave with their children, for safety reasons. The church needs to let them know that they are not " breaking their marriage vows,or un-Christ like, " if they leave. There needs to be strong authority in the church to call out these men (and in some cases women) and even call 911 if necessary. Followers of Christ need to walk the abused through the court system to gain protection. The local Humane Societies are quick to remove abused animals, but Children and Youth workers and local court systems will not offer protection to human beings. Often, the abuser is given many opportunities to change their ways. Something is really screwed up with our world. I guess I'd have to say it all boils down to...sin! Sorry to get on the soapbox. I'm wondering how Deborah's children are doing? Have you heard anything yet? Please keep us posted. Praying for you! xo

Deanna said...

Ruth, I so agree with you.

We have not heard from the children yet. We have sent letters however from the looks of things they have not been on to answer their mail in a while.

Will keep you posted.