Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Dontcha' just LoooooooooVE it???!!

When a cashier looks your way and directly tells you, "I can take you over on register 6..." and then as you are moving your cart there somebody else slides in front of you, even if it's just with a few items and now you have to stand there and wait because the cashier takes them first?"  (Just happened to me yesterday and it always makes me wish I would have stayed at the previous register.)   In my head I say, "if I were a cashier I would say to that person, 'hold on a moment, I just invited this lady to this register first'.  But then I realize they might be one of those people who sit in a church somewhere week after week and think, "If I were the pastor I would..."  Nah, forget it.  I'll stand there, smile, be quiet and quit thinking their job for them.

When teens ask other teens (who have never lived any longer or much longer than they have) advice about decisions that will affect their lives forever?  

When people rant about the importance of tolerance yet they are intolerant of those who won't tolerate just anything.

When your dog goes around in little circles time and time again in the same spot before sitting or laying down?

When you sit on the toilet and start going before you realize that the last person left you about 1/2 inch of toilet paper?

When your husband asks you where you want to go out to eat and you tell him, "Panera Bread" and he says, "well, I mean...where else would you like to go other than there?"

When your cell phone falls out of the little pocket in your purse and it's ringing incessently in the "black hole" that is the totality of your purse and by the time you finally find it the ringing stops.

When you go through a drive through, forget to double check the bag, get home and discover they left one of your sandwich orders out of the bag so now one of your family members is without one.

When someone asks you  on instant message why you are on line so late but they are on at the same time themselves?

That anybody thinks it's any of their business why you are awake at any given time?  Since when was it a crime to be AWAKE for crying out loud?  You are awake.  You are not committing murder or robbery, nor even failing to put your grocery cart back.  You are AWAKE. 

When salespeople come to your door at home?  No, I do not want to buy steak from out of your trunk.  I do not want a candy bar.  I do not want to order a candle.  I can get all three at Superwalmart and didn't need you to make me put clothes on to come to the door just to tell you no so my dogs would stop barking and you'd stop ringing my doorbell.

When somebody goes on and on telling you something for at least 15-20 minutes and then says, "you know, I could go on and on, but I won't..."

When somebody goes on and on about something else and then says, "to make a long story short..."   (I don't ever do that.  If I go on and on, I'm famous for saying, "to make a long story longer..."  My friends always laugh at this - not sure if they are laughing with me or at

When you are with someone and they answer their cell phone and talk to someone else more than they talk to you.  

For a pastor:  when someone in the community (not a Christian) finds out you are a pastor and they proceed to tell you about their cousin, nephew, or other distant relative who is a pastor and then sprinkle your conversation thereafter with a bunch of Christianese that is code for, "I have not been to church in YEARS, nor had a conversation with God in eons either, but I am desperately trying to make you think otherwise..."

When the dental hygienist pushes hard on your molars with that little silver sharp thingy that makes you feel like he/she's giving you a cavity if one's not there already.

When people throw plates with food in the side of the sink that is NOT the garbage disposal?

This ends the rant of July 21, 2010.

Carry on.


Deborah said...

Thanks for a good laugh! Enjoyed reading!!!

Deborah said...

Another I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVe. Are all four of those your boys?
I always want to come back with no I just rented them from the neighbor to bring with me to the store...DUH!