Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Afraid to purge...

"God will use everything to remove anything that will keep the prophetic word given to us from coming to pass ... This is called purging." - John Paul Jackson

I remember when I was a child and I would vomit, it scared me to death. I had a fear of throwing up because it was not only gross, it was so uncomfortable. When I would get sick I always cried at the same time that I was throwing up, and I would yell for my parents to come help me because I was so afraid.

As a grown up, I still get afraid, but not of physical purging (although I avoid it!).  Now I fear life and ministry purges. It's not so bad after an adequate amount of adjustment time goes by.  It's usually only when I'm in the midst of it that it is painful.  Once the change has been made and everything settles, I'm not only perfectly fine but I think to myself, "There's no way I could be accomplishing this right now had that change not been made!  What was I thinking when I got myself all worked up over that purge?"  But the truth is, you don't know the outcome of a purge until you are on the other side of it.   Your emotions are retching and you feel so uncomfortable and you just want it to be over.

Looking back again to my childhood, I remember vividly that when I was in the midst of throwing up I had such discomfort and fear, but very soon after throwing up I would feel SO much better.  It was a relief to get whatever bug was in my system, out -- although the means of that happening was uncomfortable.   In life and particularly in ministry we need to remember that once God does whatever He has to do, it will be so much better for us. 

Remembering my fear of vomiting as a kid, I've tried to be sensitive to it with my children.  When they were little and got sick, I'd run to them, hold them and get a cool cloth to put on their heads and comfort them.  Now as an adult when I go through purging in life or ministry, I often feel the presence of my Heavenly Father, running to me, holding me tight and sending His spirit to comfort me.  He's such a good Father, and I trust Him with whatever He decides to remove...I know it's so that nothing will stand in the way of everything He's ever promised me.

1 comment:

Lori said...

GREAT encouragement, Deanna. Thanks!