Skip to main content

Bleech

So I've had another post I had written that was ready to publish this morning and it was excellently crafted if I do say so myself.  But,  I can't bring myself to post it because it's just not true to where I'm at this morning.

I can't post what I really think today. 

It's a day for private journaling and saying a lot of things that would be extremely unwise should I speak them aloud.

But I blog everyday here.  Without fail.  365.  Rain or shine.  Sick or well.  Happy or sad.

So here it is. 

I'm leaving this afternoon to speak in Orlando this weekend. 
I would love to start driving, throw my cell phone out a window into a ditch,  cruise down the road for however long I felt like it, then stop and sit in the middle of nowhere for days.  During this time I would scarf down a plate of my mother in law's pork chops with gravy and mashed potatoes, and top it off with a big piece of warm pie.  Then I'd pull the covers over my head and sleep for a really long time. 

But that's not on my schedule for today and I'm a stick-to-the-schedule- kind of girl.  And besides that I've decided not to eat anymore because I'm stressed or angry.  It really does nothing to harm those who torque me off when I eat a bag of chips because they did something that frosted me.    

I'm packing to leave this morning, after I open up my live journal and say all my dangerous words, that is.

Journals are good.   They have saved me from doing many bad things in the past simply because I had a place to take my dangerous words before they turned into something else that would be far more harmful. 
Excuse me while I go have a mind dump.  
Labels:

Comments

Ruth, PA said…
I prayed for you this morning...and will do so throughout the day. May God shut the mouth of the "lion" gnawing at you! You are dearly loved!!!
{{{{Ruth}}}}
6:52 AM
Deanna Doss Shrodes said…
Thank you Ruth. As the morning goes on, my spirits are lifting. I love you! :)
12:20 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no
29 comments
Read more

This Could Have Ruined Everything... (But It Didn't!)

 No one would ever guess what happened to me this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida...so I'm going to tell you. :) As I was preaching at the Fearless Tour at New Hope Assembly of God this weekend,  I got choked up, literally. For probably 2-3 minutes I coughed profusely and greatly struggled. Then I drank some water and kept preaching. Everyone was gracious to give me a few moments to get my bearings. If you were there, you'll remember it! What no one realized at the time was that I swallowed a bug that flew right in while I was preaching! So disgusting! I said nothing because I was at a point in the sermon where I was really connecting and I knew if I said, "I swallowed a bug," everyone would either laugh profusely or be really concerned, or start feeling sorry for me.  And at that point whey wouldn't be thinking about the message anymore, but the fact that I had just swallowed a bug. They would then imagine what it would be like, and feel grossed out which
Post a Comment
Read more

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we
12 comments
Read more