Friday, March 05, 2010

Bleech

So I've had another post I had written that was ready to publish this morning and it was excellently crafted if I do say so myself.  But,  I can't bring myself to post it because it's just not true to where I'm at this morning.

I can't post what I really think today. 

It's a day for private journaling and saying a lot of things that would be extremely unwise should I speak them aloud.

But I blog everyday here.  Without fail.  365.  Rain or shine.  Sick or well.  Happy or sad.

So here it is. 

I'm leaving this afternoon to speak in Orlando this weekend. 
I would love to start driving, throw my cell phone out a window into a ditch,  cruise down the road for however long I felt like it, then stop and sit in the middle of nowhere for days.  During this time I would scarf down a plate of my mother in law's pork chops with gravy and mashed potatoes, and top it off with a big piece of warm pie.  Then I'd pull the covers over my head and sleep for a really long time. 

But that's not on my schedule for today and I'm a stick-to-the-schedule- kind of girl.  And besides that I've decided not to eat anymore because I'm stressed or angry.  It really does nothing to harm those who torque me off when I eat a bag of chips because they did something that frosted me.    

I'm packing to leave this morning, after I open up my live journal and say all my dangerous words, that is.

Journals are good.   They have saved me from doing many bad things in the past simply because I had a place to take my dangerous words before they turned into something else that would be far more harmful. 
Excuse me while I go have a mind dump.  

2 comments:

Ruth, PA said...

I prayed for you this morning...and will do so throughout the day. May God shut the mouth of the "lion" gnawing at you! You are dearly loved!!!
{{{{Ruth}}}}

Deanna said...

Thank you Ruth. As the morning goes on, my spirits are lifting. I love you! :)