Friday, February 12, 2010

Make your husband happy this weekend (and longer if you dare!)

Sunday is Valentines Day.  We should make it a priority to live,  love and laugh all the time.  Life is hard, but successful people focus on the good things that they have and love deeply despite the hard times, and even find something to laugh about through the difficulties.  For many, obstacles become the all consuming focal point.   Holidays like Valentines Day are a good time to refocus on what we need to do all the time but often become too overwhelmed to do.   

If you are married, what you do in that regard should be what I call "love on steroids."  Express why your spouse still means so much to you.  (If they don't still mean so much to you, this would be a great time for you to ask God to help you get a fresh perspective of them.  He can/will do it, if you just ask.  How do I know this?  He's done it in our marriage.)  Anybody has their ups and downs in marriage and we've certainly had our share, but here we still are almost 23 years later.  It takes work - TONS OF WORK to "keep it hot" and maintain a strong partnership but with true friendship, determination and the power of God in the mix, you can do it.

I thought I'd share a few things today that you can do for your husband on Valentines Day or week that would be a blessing to him.


1)  Tell him, "I married you because ________________________________.  Fill in the blank WITH SOMETHING BESIDES "I love you."  Give him another specific reason.  (Something positive of course!) It will make him stop and think - guaranteed.   (A friend of mine told me that she and her husband were assigned this exercise on a marriage retreat and it was really powerful for them.)

2)  Tell him you love him through as many creative means as possible.  Write it in lipstick on the mirror.  Text it.  Tweet it.  Facebook it.  (Funny story - a few years ago late one night I wrote on my husband's car in lipstick and even kissed the window a few times and put my lip prints on it so he'd find it the next day when he went to work.  However, the next morning my husband wasn't the first one to go outside -- Savanna was.  She saw it and came running in the house completely horrified, having no idea I was the one who had done this.  She screamed at my husband, "oh my gosh Daddy some crazy  lady  has written stuff all over your windows and kissed your car!!!" Needless to say it backfired that time.)

3)  Take one day or night and commit  to nothing but NEW things.  Romance is heavily related to adventure.  Have dinner somewhere you've never gone before, take a drive somewhere you have never been to before, do something intimate you've never done before.  They sky is the limit -- just make it a night of ALL THINGS NEW!

4)  Arrange for him to have a day/night out with his guy friends doing something he loves to do.  (Golf, etc.)  Don't complain about how long he is gone or what you had to deal with while he was gone, or make him feel bad that he took this time with the guys.

5)  Plan an overnight for the two of you, as a surprise.  Don't just make the arrangements to go away but plan lots of special things for him once you actually get there.   When Larry turned 40, I planned a surprise getaway for him...it was a three night getaway and my goal was to  make him feel 20 again.  :)   He never knew what to expect next!   I really wanted this to be like a second honeymoon.  That getaway is one of his favorite memories.  

6)  Read to each other.  You get to choose what he reads you and vice versa.  To really put some sizzle back into your relationship, write a sexy love note to each other and read it out loud. 

7)  Share about his accomplishments in front of others.  They might brush it off or act like they don't want you to share about it, but believe me they do.  (Inside they are just eating that up!)

8)  Get him a few special little things he likes and put them on his desk at work or put them in his briefcase, or his car or somewhere else that he'll find them.  In  Larry's case I give him things like Sports Illustrated, Big Red gum, Altoids, etc.   Usually when we go away I try to get these items beforehand and put them on the pillow in the hotel for him.

9)  Join him in the shower.   Better yet do that every morning for a week or a month.  He will really think he just died and went to heaven or wonder who stole his wife and replaced her with you, or...he will check the medicine cabinet to see if you are taking some new prescription drugs.

10)  Make something unique and special to express your love for him.  Two years ago I created this little piece on the computer, printed it in color, framed it in a 5 x 7 black frame and this sits on Larry's desk at the office.  He loved it!  To see it up closer, just click the photo.  It's a little fuzzy here on the blog but the actual print out is crystal clear. 


Whatever you do, don't just let the week go by without doing something together.  If the finances aren't there to do anything, exchange powerful words -- spend intimate time.  Nothing means more than that so  treasure it.

2 comments:

Tina Blount said...

Deanna, I love your ideas. I love the thought you put into these and the obvious thought you put into your marriage. Thanks for sharing with us the many creative ways we can love our man this Valentines Day!

Ruth, PA said...

Romance does not need to cost a dime. I so agree with you...it takes effort, creativity, and time! Love is what you make it, whether it me your mate or a friendship!

Without being graphic, I've found that the better shape we are in, the more fun we have in the bedroom! And when we feel good about ourselves, the more we accept the love from our mate.

I always love your ideas. Last week, I went back and reread your sex series from last year. A good refresher and reminder!
Happy Valentine's Day!