Skip to main content

Another amazing post from Craig...
FRIENDS OR FANS?

I don't even want you to have to do so much as click to read the amazing post Craig posted last night. I'm fixing to post the entire thing here for your convenience. I read this and all I could think was, "well, I'm really blessed. I've got more than a few real friends! Halleluiah!" I understand this whole concept of friends vs. fans. I've had way too many fans, believe me...and I don't say that in an egotistical way.. please note in Craig's blog post, fans are not something of a positive nature. In this case, "fans" are bad. The more time goes on, I am learning the difference between friends and fans. I am learning to let a fan go and thank the Lord for His provision over my life in protecting me. The past few weeks I have a whole new appreciation for real friends and also a new level of discernment about fans. Thanks Craig, for another awesome word...

FRIENDS OR FANS?


by Craig Sloan

John 2:23-3:1 "Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did. 24 But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, 25 and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man. NKJV

Oral Roberts once said, "If you get to the end of your life and you have five close friends you are blessed."


If you have more than three to five friends, they are most likely not friends. but fans. Jesus is accumulating a lot of fans in this text. They are people from a distance that love your gift, not you. They love you based on what you bring to the table, what they can get from you to advance them. Most people come after you for what they want from you, not the real you.

T.D Jakes, in some people's opinion the world's greatest preacher, and leader of a powerful movement, shared at one of his leadership conferences with tears in his eyes that when his mother died, he had a funeral service and only a handful of people showed up. He said he was devastated. He learned that they don't love him, they love his gift.

The root word for fan is fantasy. Fantasy means to project a unreal image. When you love my gift, you love a unreal image. I am not my gift 24 hours a day. That's why a lot of famous people die tragically. The fans fall in love with the way they look after 100 plastic surgeries. They project a image that is not real. Many of them die tragic deaths because every time they walk out of their house they feel the pressure of projecting a image that is not real. A fan has a picture of what is not real, and they want you to project that image all the time. They put expectations on you to be something you can't be...to provide something to them that you weren't intended to provide. This is how we get idols and gods. Jesus is trying to give us the wisdom of who are to commit our lives to with the understanding that the masses will never love the real you. It is only a handful of people that can look beyond the exterior and love the real you. This also helps you to understand the nature of people. For example let's look at critical people...

Critical people are people that criticize what they don't understand. That is their nature, so I base my expectation of them on their nature and I'm not offended or hurt. Who is your fan and who is your friend?

* Fans love you for what you can do for them, but when you need something, they are no where to be found.

* Friends can see your behind and still love you. Fans want to share your behind with everybody else.

* Fans are perfomance based. Friends are permanant. They don't love you more or less based on your performance. They are constant.

* Fans put false expectations on you, and when you can't meet them, they become offended at you. Friends are flexible in the relationship realizing things change.

* Fans will leave when something better comes along, Friends stick with you through hell or high water.

* Fans will praise you one moment and crucify you the next. Friends will die with you.

* Fans share inside information with others to make themselves look more important. Friends keep your secrets.

Why do people leave us? It is not because of something we've done, it is because they expected us to do something we didn't. Disappointment is the child of a unrealistic expectation.

Blessings,Craig

Comments

Unknown said…
PD, Thanks for sharing this post. This is so true! It took me a while to learn this fact, but I've since adapted a favorite quote: "expect nothing and you will not be disappointed!"
sparkled*life said…
Wow I can't believe I am only the second comment on this! This is so true. I am in ministry and wow did I need this. So good. I am speechless as tears come to my eyes....wow.....it is so hard sometimes people just don't know. So hard.....
Anonymous said…
My spouse says that I have been blessed with more true friends than anyone he knows! I've had the same friends the last 20 years plus one in each city that we've ever lived. I lost only one along the way. But she fell in the "fan" category I apparently! I was so non-judgmental of all her little quirks and lack of spiritual growth. However, she was keeping a "record" of my frailities ( from clearly critical eyes). I was so shocked! But I learned alot from her unfaithfulness and no one is irreplaceable! God has blessed me with even higher caliber of friends who are at my spiritual growth level or higher. Surround yourself with ones who hold you in the place that God has for you without jealousy/envy! God gives us discernment. I avoid "instant friendships" and wait on the Lord.
2as1

Popular posts from this blog

This Could Have Ruined Everything... (But It Didn't!)

No one would ever guess what happened to me this weekend in Jacksonville, Florida...so I'm going to tell you. :)


As I was preaching at the Fearless Tour at New Hope Assembly of God this weekend,  I got choked up, literally. For probably 2-3 minutes I coughed profusely and greatly struggled. Then I drank some water and kept preaching. Everyone was gracious to give me a few moments to get my bearings. If you were there, you'll remember it!

What no one realized at the time was that I swallowed a bug that flew right in while I was preaching! So disgusting! I said nothing because I was at a point in the sermon where I was really connecting and I knew if I said, "I swallowed a bug," everyone would either laugh profusely or be really concerned, or start feeling sorry for me.  And at that point whey wouldn't be thinking about the message anymore, but the fact that I had just swallowed a bug. They would then imagine what it would be like, and feel grossed out which is u…

I'm Just Being Transparent...

This year at the Stronger Conference, a young minister stopped me as I was walking out of the room at the conclusion of a workshop and she said, "I want to tell you something..." (I was all ears.) She said, "Do you notice how many of the speakers this weekend are saying, "Now, I'm just being transparent when I tell you..." or "I'm just keepin' it real..." I nodded yes. In fact, I mentioned that I was one of those speakers. I think I probably said a few times in both my keynote message and my workshop that I was just "keepin' it real."

After I affirmed that yes, I had noticed that -- she said, "Do you know why they have to do that? They do it...and you do it, because so many people don't keep it real. So many in leadership aren't transparent, Deanna. That's why all these people speaking here feel an urge to declare their transparency.." I let her know that usually when I say, "I'm just keeping …

What To Do First to Make a Profit

Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said:

It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way.
Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're  not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director.  Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year.  God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory!

I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started investing and training and all of that, seeking God for his blessing and…