Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What men and women need to know before having sex


Straight talk with my kids has always come rather easy for me. Maybe it's because I started having an open and honest dialogue on all of life's topics with them early on. If you've been reading my blog for very long you know I'm a big proponent of this. One post about why I believe this is so important can be found here, in case you missed it.

I do believe that God's plan is to wait for sex until marriage and I base that upon what the Bible says. I share Biblical truth with my children first and foremost. But I also talk about the myriad of other consequences, about making not only a sinful but an unwise choice. Many people focus only on the spiritual ramifications. Those are real, but not exclusive. Because of this, I have chosen to also discuss other subjects as well with my kids and show them the whole picture of what can go wrong when they make a sinful choice. I don't believe enough parents share on practical matters like this with their children, until it's too late.

Recently I was teaching a class of adults and several shared their issues and frustrations, all of which centered around the topic of child support, and I thought to myself, "where were these people's parents to guide them before any of this happened?" That's not to say that if your parents guide you, you'll never make a wrong choice. But the fact is, when I minister to people whose lives are in a mess with these difficult issues and I ask them, "did your parents ever talk with you, advise you or guide you at all regarding any of this growing up?" I have never had a person tell me yes.

I recently came across an article by Regina Brett, columist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer. It's excellent and I've passed it on to Dustin, Jordan, Bobby and Stephen. (My natural and spiritual sons) The article is, Things Men Need to Know Before Sex. Regina Brett also has an excellent column, Things Women Need to Know Before Sex, that is excellent information for girls/women as well. I'll be sharing it with Savanna and her friends, when they get just a bit older.

Make no mistake, Biblical information is most important, but although the main reason to abstain until marriage, it is not the only one. I do not want my children to make a bad decision and one day say, "why didn't somebody tell me all this could happen???" I want them to consider themselves well warned. If my children make these mistakes, at least they won't be able to have ignorance or lack of of parental guidance as an excuse.

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