Yesterday and today...DISTURBIA
Well, what have I been up to the past two days? Let's do a little re-cap...
Thursday after work we went to the store and picked up groceries for dinner. I came home, started homemade yeast rolls (they take 2 hours and 15 min when I make them from scratch), and began tidying up. We invited Casey over for dinner which of course, made Dustin's night. Larry made steaks on the grill and I made rolls, mashed potatoes, summer and italian squash, corn and chocolate chip cookies. Yum :-) Afterwards we were going to watch Disturbia together however after doing dishes I went to lay down for a few minutes. Larry put Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsey on in our room and I fell asleep while it was on. Jordan popped his head in and said, "Are you guys coming out to watch Disturbia?" and Larry said, "I think your Mom is conked out for the night..." so they watched it on their own and I never got out of bed. That was my night.
Casey popped her head in our bedroom to say goodnight and I felt so terrible that I went to sleep and I apologized to her and she understood. The issue was, I had been disturbed (talk about Disturbia!!!) the previous night twice -- awakened by various family members when I did not want to be -- and didn't get enough sleep. I was upset...dragging the next day. I'll make it clear - it wasn't like they were sick or needing anything. It was just pure stupidity that I was awakened for. And I was out of sorts the next day because of an extreme lack of sleep. This is the story of my life right now...sleep disturbia. I can sleep fine on my own - if I'm at a hotel, if I'm away from my family. But in the same house with them, sleep eludes me.
I told Larry, it really does have to change. It will change. I really want to get ear plugs and then just block out the world, but my thought is, what if somebody IS really sick? What is they really DO need me? What if it's not something so dumb as waking me up at 2 am to say, "Mom, can you write me a check right now for lunch money?" or hearing Halo 3 blaring all of a sudden because they don't have to wake up for school the next day, but I do have to go to work? (I tell them to turn it off but by then it's too late, I've already been woke up and can't get back to sleep.) I've punished the kids before for this but it's not always my kids. What if it is just Larry waking me up simply to say, "why is your computer still plugged in and that annoying blue light on?" Yes, my friends, THESE are the things I am awakened by at 2 and 3 am and cannot get back to sleep after that. It's not, "there's a fire in the kitchen!" Not, "I feel sick, can you pray for me?" No, no, no. It's non-sensical things friends. And the funny thing is, they do not see why I get so upset about it. Their attitude is, "hello...chill out...what are you getting so upset for? Chillax..." Sometimes when Dustin says that to me, ("Chillax, Mom"...) I just want to pull out an Uzi. But I don't have one. So I don't.
Then on the next day after going through this sleep disturbia, as I'm driving to work I fantasize about driving Larry's car into a ravine, (mine's gone remember?) mangling myself up just enough (not too much -- could I just be a bit mangled without pain? Can I be mangled but no scars? Can I just be mangled enough that my family has to wait on me hand and foot for about three months...? ) saying, "I just finally 'chillaxed" after my lack of sleep last night because of YOUR disturbia and here's what happened..." Then they all bawl and cry for a few days and say, "We will never wake you up again for a stupid reason" and we all live happily ever after, especially me because not only am I totally better and not scarred from any of my mangles, but I am getting SLEEP!!!! Am I the only one that ever has these thoughts? They are scary, so I hope so. This is a post in itself, but I'll stop now.