Monday, September 17, 2007

My drinking problem


Back to reality.

I knew the high from Unstoppable would wind down at some point. I'm still wildly excited about the results, however I'm back to the real world.

I can't wait to go to Houston, TX this weekend to be with Pastor Lisa and minister at her church! :-) It couldn't have come at a better time. I was concerned when we booked this that I'd be drained from Unstoppable and perhaps not at my best. But quite truthfully I think I can preach at my best right now, I am just needing a break from home. There are times I can't wait to get home and times I can't wait to be on the road (or in the sky) and this is one such time. I can't get packed fast enough. Get ready, get ready, get ready Pastor Lisa...we're in store for a great time in God. I am so ready to be there with you.

Had a few irritating things that happened today - not enough to steal my joy from Unstoppable but just enough to make me very emotionally tired and think, "yep, we are back to the real world, ladies and gentlemen, the real world of life, ministry and pastoring." Reality is not living the "conference high". Reality is what drove us to the conference in the first place!

I called Randy just to talk about it and get his perspective and as usual it made me feel 100% better. We were talking today about the fact that most ministers implode or fall or whatever because they just don't connect enough. That's the drum I keep beating and will keep on doing it. It's no wonder so many pastors are angry or sick...they just don't pick up the phone and call another. The generation before us just prayed about it, and while that's our first line of defense, a lot of them still had heart attacks and died before their time because God did make us for community, it's just a fact. We need somebody with skin on at times.

Today I was faced once again with my drinking problem. I was already in a ratty mood when I got home from the grocery store at 6 pm from work. Then I walked in and discovered that one of my kids had drank the entire pitcher of fresh brewed unsweetened iced tea I made before I left for work this morning. (I always make sure I have a fresh pitcher so it's ready and cold when I get home. Each morning I wake up early enough to get Savanna ready for school, feed the dog and take her out, straighten up the kitchen and make iced tea...in addition to getting myself ready in the am.) This routine and making the tea is really crucial to me, as small as it sounds. I'm really the only one in my family who likes tea this way, but sometimes one of the kids just get a hankering for it and decide to drink the whole thing.

To some it's bizarre I'm sure, but if I don't have what I really want to drink, (fresh brewed tea being the first choice) I just don't like to eat. In fact, if all the drinks I like in the world were removed I'd probably lose a whole lot of weight.

Sometimes Larry and I will go out to a place to eat and for whatever reason they only have bottled cokes or bottled tea (unless it's Republic of Tea which happens to be my all time favorite) and no ice or glasses and usually if that's the case I just skip eating altogether and watch him eat. As much as I like to eat, if I don't have something I like to drink, I'd rather not eat. It's just not appealing to me. So for that reason. I'm thinking I'll probably lose some weight in Africa this November. I won't be able to have ice and I'm not sure that they even have tea. I'm not worried about it because I'm expecting it to be that way. If I'm on a missions trip, ministering at another church or event or I am at a person's home, I would never complain about what's there or not there to drink. It's just a given that I quietly do without and don't even mention it to my host as that would be incredibly rude, in my opinion. I just take whatever they have and then eat enough to politely get by. But if I'm in my own home, this whole issue of what to drink has the potential to upset me, because I go to great lengths to make sure my tea is there for me when I get home. Or, on special occasions, I spend the 2 weight watcher points to have a real Coke, like when I go to the movies. This is my drinking habit. Yes, as a good weight watcher I do drink bottled waters in between meals. It's a necessary thing. But I don't like them with food. (Unless I put a bunch of lemon and Splenda in them which really defeats the purpose, don't you think?)

So I come home today and the pitcher I brewed this morning was...completely gone. One of my offspring had added a few cups of real sugar to it, and completely drank the whole 2 quarts. Unbelievable! So, when I walked in, what I wanted to do was...go straight to my room, change into my PJ's, take 2 Tylenol PM's, lock the door, put in earplugs and go to sleep.

But I couldn't.

Why not? Because I have three kids who are all hungry and want supper, and then Larry was taking the boys to men's ministry football. Savanna would be left behind and I'd have to help her with her homework. When you have kids and responsibilities you can't just shut your door and go to sleep at 6 pm and ignore the world. But I sure would have liked to tonight. Incidentally, I made more tea in time for dinner however it's just not cold...you're pouring warm tea over ice cubes and it's just not the same. This by itself would not have been anything to get so upset about but when I had a bummy day already, anything was just magnified. Larry told me he thought I should have laid into the kid in question about this and maybe even punished them since I have told them SO MANY TIMES not to do this. But honestly, I did not have the emotional energy and besides that I don't trust myself when I get this irritated. I will say or do something I regret so it's best for me to be quiet. I just silently made supper and told everybody to just let me be alone with my thoughts. While I made dinner I watched a Dr. Phil show from Tivo about a husband who was a habitual liar and cheater. It made my iced tea issue look pale in comparison so it actually helped me a considerable amount.

Tea. A small thing? Probably. But it was just the crowning moment on my day, at least the one that I can safely blog about.

I will not have a drinking problem tomorrow, that is unless my kids plan to drink down the 6 quarts of tea I'm making for tomorrow.

Good news. I'm writing this late at night and as I type...the clock has just struck midnight and it's a new day.

1 comment:

Deborah said...

Deanna, we have a very nice ice tea in africa called Nestle Iced tea, we in africa live on tea, so you will be okay! Just remember to drink everything that is sealed dont buy anything where the seal is broken. I so always enjoy your blogging. Sleep well my friend.