Thursday, February 15, 2007

Satisfying Sex


No matter how much I prepare for a marriage conference or other speaking event where I'm asked to talk about marriage, I feel I am never "finally" prepared. It's not that I don't prepare and study but I always just feel like there's so much more to learn, include and study. This is a subject I read up on constantly. I start with the Bible because it's our roadmap for life - our absolute standard for living and the answer to everything. I also read anything else that can help me and perhaps expound or explain what the Bible has to say. And...I enjoy statistics. I want to know what's going on out there.

Such is the case as we continue to prepare for this weekend's conference at our church.  Larry and I have done this at many other places but now for the first time we'll do our own church conference. (Although we do a month of marriage/family messages together each February on Sunday mornings, we have always brought someone else in to speak for the conference. This year we just felt led to do it ourselves.) 

We have more people registered than ever before. It's a record sign up, and we're excited about it. Not just that we have a great amount of people signed up, but the fact that this is something we are passionate about sharing. And I believe if people take the information to heart, they will be changed. The Word of God applied to one's life WILL change things.

Today as I was researching more for this conference, I came across a statistic that says that 49% of all married Americans are dissatisfied with their sex lives and that 48% of all women fake orgasms. (Uh, that would be the reason for the 49% dissatisfaction I guess? If nothing's happening for 48% of women I would dare say that's the reason for some serious unhappiness.) 

What really breaks my heart is that it is so needless. There are so many hurting people in the church (and in the world for that matter) who settle for status quo. In many churches, the information is never spoken about nor readily available. This is something Larry and I have always been willing to go to the wall for. Because marriage matters. And a little information and encouragement goes a long way, not to mention the most important thing which is...showing people the word of God.

I have preached the Word of God about sex for a long time now and perhaps nothing aggravates some people more. Usually I have found that those people are under conviction of the Holy Spirit. Many have unfulfilled sex lives, or did back when they were married. Some never knew what it was to be free, and God forbid they know that other people are living free and not under the same unnecessary rules and regulations that they gave themselves. They lived under a lot of false teaching or no teaching and don't want others to find freedom because they never had it. Misery loves company. Or sometimes, people are just brainwashed. Or they are uncomfortable with certain things and blame it on God.

One lady years ago caused a ruckus when I preached about this and she left the church. She couldn't imagine that what I was teaching was right since it went against everything her mother ever told her. She went the Christian bookstore and even tried to find books to disprove what I was saying. (There weren't any - what I was teaching was in accordance with the Bible - and sometimes...the Word does make people uncomfortable, let's face it!) She rebelled with all her might against this teaching and then realized...this was exactly why she was on her third marriage. What was the main issue in her marriage? Sex, and the fact that she was so uptight while her previous husbands (yes, I said husbands - she had several unhappy marriages) desired to be so free. A few months later she came back and apologized to me and told me that the reason she fought it so badly is because she knew she failed in these areas of her marriage due to her lack of willingness to change. All three of her husbands had complained about her lack of creativity, and freedom in the bedroom. And...they were all Christians. That's just one instance that I've experienced this, but there are quite a few more.

Yes, this is something I'm willing to go to the wall for, and get criticized for because it's something people really need to hear Biblical teaching about. They don't need to hear what Mom or Grandma have passed down to them through the generations that may have no biblical basis. They don't need to just go by what they "feel in their spirit" (the Bible is the authority - not what we feel). They need to know what the Word of God says. And the Word of God will set them free! Free to be satisfied...free to be fulfilled...free to truly be one.

For every one person who is uncomfortable about the topic or complain, there are 100 others who say, "thanks for saying that - it changed my life." And that's all that matters.

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