Skip to main content

Bringing up Boys

Here I am with my two sons...they served at last night's women's tea. Aren't they adorable? I'm so proud of them. They are turning out to be wonderful human beings despite all my mistakes.

You know, bringing up boys is a unique world all it's own, thus the reason for Dr. James Dobson's book, Bringing up Boys. That is one book I'm really glad I read. I found out I wasn't so crazy. Somewhat crazy? Yes, still somewhat crazy but not for the reasons I thought!

When my boys were very little I felt like I was the only one dealing with kids with this type of behavior. (Never wanting to sit down, always running around, leaping off of stuff, wrestling, etc....) One time I got them all dressed up for church when Dustin was about 2 and a half and Jordan was about 18 months. I woke up at the crack of dawn, got them dressed, then put them out in the living room with a Disney movie and said, "be good while Mommy gets dressed..." then went to get myself dressed. Meanwhile, Dustin mosies out into the kitchen and finds two boxes of Entenmann's chocolate covered donut holes up on the shelf. He proceeds to take them out to the living room where he and Jordan singlehandedly eat the ENTIRE TWO BOXES. I was horrified when I came back out. Well, I cleaned off their chocolate mouths, and took them to church. They went into Sunday School. The chocolate had them totally buzzed. They went in the room but couldn't calm down. They ran around in circles until they proceeded to throw up. All the while I am directing choir down in the sanctuary. Someone comes and gets me as I exit the platform to tell me the boys have just thrown up two boxes of donut holes. Yeecckk!! I could tell a zillion stories of stuff like this I went through when they were little. I used to just pray that I would survive those years. People would admonish me, "Enjoy them!" I was too tired to enjoy them quite frankly.

I have to admit I do find it 100% easier to raise teenagers than toddlers. Everyone told me it would NOT be so. Back in the day when they were both in diapers everyone told me how supposedly easy that was. Older women would say to me, "Count your blessings Pastor Deanna...little people people have little problems. Big people have big problems. Just wait until you have teenagers! You're going to be thanking God for these days!" An elderly saint once admonished me, "When they are little they step on your toes. When they are big they step on your heart." Well I guess the jury is still out on it because my kids are not fully adults yet. But I have found so far, they aren't killing my heart. Most of the time now the things they do make my heart quite proud. They are good boys. They get in trouble occasionally but nothing major. All of these admonishments I got when they were small were pieces of advice that I really don't think were right, at least for me. Are teenage years without problems? No. We face plenty of stresses like any other family. But one thing I have learned is that EVERY FAMILY IS DIFFERENT. There are no cookie cutter families.

As for me, I was a stressed out Mom when my kids were little ankle biters. My favorite stage was the newborn stage, with all of them. I love getting pregnant, being pregnant, and having newborn children. The "up all night feedings" didn't even bother me. I enjoyed it. I coped alright with the lack of sleep, all of the diapers, etc. All of them woke up a million times a night and nursed. None of them slept normally for a few years. But that was alright with me. What began to completely stress me out was when they began walking, and jumping, climbing and leaping. Then I turned into one stressed out mom. People would say, "enjoy these days! they are the best of your life!" I thought, "surely these people have not had many good days for them to say this to me..." Those days were SO STRESSFUL. Jordan would be leaping off the bars of his crib, or one of them would be screaming and crying over something without being able to communicate with me. I thought, "this HAS to get easier as they get older..." and despite everybody telling me the contrary, what my heart was telling me was right. For me (and that's the operative phrase here...FOR ME) it is easier having all three of my children older now.

I do not wish the diaper days back. I am now ENJOYING vacations. I am now ENJOYING talking to them. (They can be reasoned with, even though they are sometimes hard headed...but then again, so am I!) They can express what is wrong (toddlers just scream and bang their head on the floor or eat their crayons) They SLEEP IN. They have jobs so if they jump off something and break a bone, I tell them now that THEY have to pay for it. Thus, they now think twice before jumping off a building or from a tree. Yes, for all you Moms out there who are bringing up little boys and wondering if you will ever breathe again? Yes, the answer is...yes.


Popular posts from this blog

Relevant Church doing something...

incredibly RELEVANT!

I just heard some news today that really inspired me. A church here in Tampa, Relevant Church is doing a new thing this month called the "30 Days Sex Challenge." (I've never visited the church but Pastor Trinity - our children's pastor - has visited or has met some people from this church and he was very impressed.) Realizing that this is a major element missing from some marriages (the frequency factor) their lead pastor, Paul Wirth, has issued a challenge for all the married couples to have sex for 30 days in a row. At the same time he has issued a challenge for all unmarrieds to completely abstain from sex. Of course we know the Bible says that those who are unmarried should not have sex in the first place but the point is, a lot of unmarried's aren't obeying the Lord's command to abstain and this is just one pastor's way of trying to get them to see that indeed, there is a better way! (God's way!) At the same time, many married couples are no

What Verbal Abuse is Really Like, and Why We Must Care
Guest Post: Terri von Wood

In my speaking travels, I meet the most amazing people. Some are connections that go beyond just a night or a weekend of preac hing. One day on my journey, I met Terri von Wood, and we immediately clicked and have been friends ever since.  Just a reminder that all of our guest bloggers this week are available to chat with you in the comment section here on the blog or on my facebook page where the blog is also published.   *** People who have never suffered through or witnessed abuse (including pastors) often don't know how to help women in abusive situations. Knowledge is power and it is my belief that if the church understood the prevalence of abuse, help would be made available.  First, we must acknowledge that the divorce rate is the same  in the church as in the world.  Second, we must understand that the 50% divorce rate does not include all the women who are abused but stay because they do not know what else to do or do not have anyone to turn to.  If those women we

Book giveaway starts TODAY!

Today begins a book giveaway here on the blog!  The more times you comment, the greater chance you have to win! A friend at Charisma House asked if I'd like to review some books and give some away.  What a delightful idea!  We will be giving away several books over the next few weeks.  I do need to let you know that these books have been provided to me free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. So here's how it's gonna work...for every time a reader leaves a comment on any of this week's blog posts today through Thursday, November 3 at midnight, or on the facebook comment thread when the same post publishes there, I will enter your name in the drawing one time.  You can comment more than once a day!  You get your name entered every single time you post.  So, comment away!  Let your voice be heard!    We will draw the winner's name at midnight on Thursday and announce it Friday morning.  The book will be mailed to you..  The first book we are g