Deanna Doss Shrodes

Recently I taught a workshop for pastor’s wives and I asked the question, “How many of you have had someone in the church approach you and say, “God told me we’re supposed to be best friends... ?" Laughter immediately erupted and lots of heads were nodding and hands raised.  I went on to say that this pressure comes in various forms – not always the same verbiage – and can be anything from… “God told me we’re supposed to be best friends…”  to “I really want to know you more and get closer to you...”  to “God laid you on my heart and said we're supposed to be close friends...” Sometimes it comes in the form of someone relentlessly asking for private coffee/lunch times for the purpose of pursuing those things. (Note: there's a difference between spending time such as this for mentoring, discipleship, etc. and developing a close friendship.) I asked the pastor’s wives gathered in that class if they had experienced anyone actually leaving the church...

When you take a risk and share your heart you run just that, a risk. Sometimes when you share your heart you lose everything. Who knows but that such an unsettling event might be the catalyst that moves us to make the mark we are called to make on the world? Yesterday a friend in ministry said to me, "Deanna, you are a voice, not an echo." That put some things in perspective for me.  I'm really excited right now about a few things I've written that are getting ready to be published that for me are revolutionary. One is an article that I was requested to write and it's very edgy. It's pushing the limits for sure. Perhaps even disconcerting, but a message that is desperately needed. I can hardly wait to see it in print but more than that I can hardly wait to see what changes it may bring about in some people's lives. The other is the current book I'm working on. With every day I become more impassioned about the message. Yesterday I shared with ...

Do you take all your time off?  I didn't used to and it was a huge mistake.   A recent survey revealed that for most American employees, eleven vacation days a year are left unused, and almost a third of employees are "too afraid to ask for vacation" in a time of high unemployment and job insecurity, according to the Daily Mail.  The survey also revealed that not taking vacation days resulted in anger problems among staffers. A lot of people ask me how I manage several jobs at once.  In fact, it seems to be a focus of what people ask me  about most. I will say that I do better with several jobs and all my vacation time than I did with one job and little to no vacation time. The reasons I didn't take vacation in the past were noble.  I meant well and even spiritualized it.  But, it actually worked against me, not for me.  It's important to take all of your time off, particularly if you're a pastor -- I encourage you to  take every ...

Earlier this year I was speaking on a Saturday at a women's tea at another church and the pastor's wife made an announcement prior to my message.  She said, "Ladies, please make sure you are faithful to church service tomorrow morning.  Pastor says we have to stop scheduling events on Saturdays if it affects Sunday church attendance."  I could hardly believe my ears!  Why?  Because I've dealt with the SAME exact thing. Every time we go away to a women's conference with our women I come home and tell my husband how they were touched by God.  I share with him many testimonies of the great things that happened while we were away.  Then Sunday comes and a lot of them don't show up to church.  It never fails on the way home from service, my husband says, "So, where were all these women who were so radically touched by God?  Wouldn't it stand to reason that they would come to church if God has done such amazing things in their life?"  I have ...

Healthy relationships and organizations are ones where nothing is off limits to talk about. Last night I spoke about this in our Fusion service.  We want to be a healthy church so there's nothing off limits for discussion at Celebration. Many believe that some things are better left unsaid, and that less communication is better.  Healthy people are aware of the destructive nature of secrets or a lack of communication.  Those walking in wholeness get the fact that environments where honest conversation is taboo or avoided are sick places and those who perpetuate such behavior are sick people.

Clique [klik] noun a small, exclusive group of people; coterie  Every time I hear this word in any form or fashion, it's always with distain. I've often pondered the subject of why.   I'm a compassionate person by nature and definitely don't harbor the "us four and no more" mentality when it comes to Christianity or church.  I believe it's important for us to welcome people with open arms. At the same time, my heart tells me that there is sometimes an appropriate setting for a clique of sorts in certain settings of life.  Are my husband and I not in a clique by literal definition being that we are an exclusive couple, not allowing another woman or man into the inner sanctum of our relationship? Is my family of five not a "clique" when we go on a sacred family vacation together or have a family meeting, "just us five"? Last night and for the better part of today my husband and I have been at a denominational leadership...

We all need help from somebody at some time.  When we need help, it's obviously important to us, and we want the best care we can receive.   So then why don't we all receive what we desire? A lot of it has to do with timing .  Being both a pastor and a coach, working in the church world and the business world at the same time I realize most people in this world have little regard for timing.   I do not refer to extremes, like, "call me in 2014 and I'll see what I can do for you..." There's a big difference between 2014 and next Tuesday. I'm also not referring to emergencies.  Obviously in a crisis, you need help NOW, not next Tuesday.  The one caveat here is that a lot of people don't realize the true definition of emergency.  I once had a lady call me about her marriage problems, during an important family celebration we were having.  I told her I couldn't help her right then - we were in the midst of a family occasion.  I...

Today we're continuing this blog series on message preparation.  If you missed the previous five posts, be sure to go back and check them out. If the Bible is the meat of your message (which it always should be!) then illustrations are the dessert!  I love the Word of God, and make no mistake - preaching is about the Word of God. Illustrations within a message serve to open people's eyes to the relevancy, the "now" way the Word of God is working in hearts and lives.  Illustration certainly shouldn't replace the central role of the Bible, rather they serve to explain what we are communicating from God's Word.  My husband and I always say that they help people to know how to live out the Word of God on Monday.  It's one thing to read in the Word of God what happened with Moses, but how does that apply to you?  To me?  To us?  Illustrations also serve to motivate and inspire people with how Word has been made manifest in people's lives, how He i...