Deanna Doss Shrodes

If you're going to discuss something that's stressful in the least, don't invite a leader out for a meal to do it.  Even if it's not stressful to you...if you have any inkling -- any feeling at all that the conversation will be such for them, don't ask to meet over a meal. Call them to discuss it, or set a meeting at their office. Over the years, I've had people invite me to join them for a meal to tell me that they are resigning, stepping down from a ministry, leaving the church, or to pitch a project to me they are doubtful I will support. Perhaps they want to press me for a position or a decision on something they already know I'm not too keen on. If I sense that any of these things are the case, I try to get them to set a meeting that doesn't include mealtimes. It’s a proven fact that stress affects our digestive system.   When these types of conversations happen over a meal, I feel pain sometimes as my food is digesting. Meals ...

If I could have a do-over, I would do all three of these things MUCH quicker in my 25-year journey of leadership.  1) Exercise daily.  I'm not a work-out-a-holic by any means. Anyone can tell that from even glancing at me. But, the fact is, for a few months now I've been exercising even if just for 15 minutes a day. The majority of the days I do 30 minutes. And it is absolutely life-changing, particularly related to stress. Some days even if I've already exercised, I go back and do a bit more if something comes up. It helps a lot! Lately I've said to myself, "why didn't I start doing this sooner?" Exercise has been called, "the best drug in the world." 2) Be happy while waiting.  Are you waiting for challenges to be worked out, before allowing yourself to be happy?  The truth is, things will never be perfect until heaven. If you are leading a church or an organization, few easy problems come to your desk. By the time they get to you, ...

 "There she goes again..."  I buried my face in my husband's shoulder, uncontrollably laughing, trying to get myself semi-under control, (I never get fully under control, lol) as we were out to dinner last night. Our former children's pastor, Trinity Mackley, came into town and stayed with us for the last two nights. We went out to dinner -- he and Larry and I along with Jordan and Savanna. In our conversation which was quite delightful, I was reduced to cry-laughing. This happens often. I laugh so hard I sometimes fall off the couch. Or leave the room. Or bury my face in a tissue. I've had passersby thinking I've had too much to drink, when I wasn't drinking at all. One time somebody offered to call me a cab. In all seriousness. That made me laugh even harder. My kids are used to it. They just say, "there she goes again..." and shake their heads in amusement. They get a kick out of the fact that I laugh at my own stories and jo...

Turning the television volume all the way up in my bedroom, I quickly dashed to the bathroom, leaving the door open, so I could pee after holding it for almost four hours. I didn't want to miss even one moment of the Whitney Houston Homegoing service. Like millions around the world , I was practically glued to the television that Saturday morning, taking in every moment of the service, from Kevin Costner’s unforgettable remarks to Bishop Marvin Winans powerful message.  My TV was so loud it drowned out the sound of the flushing toilet and water swishing in the sink as I washed my hands. Drying them and running back to the TV, I  managed to keep a watchful eye online. Friends in other countries were posting status updates on Facebook. They were tuning in as well, and gave a running commentary on the service. Without exception all of us remarked that the tears were streaming down as I Will Always Love You began to play and Houston’s casket was wheeled down the center aisle ...

I'm not going to keep you in suspense. I'm going to tell you right off the bat in this post exactly how to do as the title suggests. You need to sleep. After watching this TED talk by Arianna Huffington right before the new year started, I determined to do three new things in 2012 to reach my goals. I'm getting  adequate sleep, I'm taking my weekly sacred day off no matter what and I'm planning vacations well in advance. It's another blog for another day but by "vacation" I mean true vacations. This doesn't include times of handling business, visiting people, covering bases, but a true getaway where I have no expectations or responsibilities whatsoever. A lot of people ask me how I do all that I do, handling multiple jobs and roles. I've been thinking about more intentional answers to this question instead of just saying, "a lot of prayer," or "God's grace." Yes of course I do it with a lot of prayer and without g...

People who are most effective in life have in common that they get things done regardless of what comes up.  Dependability is one of the most important soft skills a person can possess. Right now you may not feel like you're at your optimal best with hustle and bustle and holiday stress. I know the feeling. The other night it was all I could do to get through a rehearsal, I was so physically and emotionally exhausted from the extra holiday load.  Then a few days ago a cold sore showed up on my lip -- always one of the telltale signs that I'm stressed. But I know that my success depends on me pushing through the more challenging days and doing what needs to be done in spite of the way I may feel. Your success depends on that too. Here are five things that help me to press on when I feel like stopping or procrastinating: 1) Start the day with a bit more self care For me this means extra time to get ready in the morning.  I like to start my day quietly with just ...

Image courtesy of http://www.psiquilt.com/2011/07/pinterest.html I have preached against "fatal distractions." I've given motivational talks on getting beyond distractions so one can "get down to business and accomplish your goals and dreams." This is something I excel at -- focusing to achieve. Unfortunately it's also partly responsible for my blood pressure being higher than it should be, and some other not-so-positive outcomes. I have friends who accomplish a bit less than me, however they are generally healthier. And I've realized if I keep going this way they may outlast me.  Not that I want my friends to die, but I really would prefer that none of us be missing. :) So, I started thinking maybe I need a distraction now and then.  A friend recently told me they take a break from working at their computer every 20 minutes, get up and walk around, just for the benefit to their vision alone.  They are one of the most successful people I kno...

Do you take all your time off?  I didn't used to and it was a huge mistake.   A recent survey revealed that for most American employees, eleven vacation days a year are left unused, and almost a third of employees are "too afraid to ask for vacation" in a time of high unemployment and job insecurity, according to the Daily Mail.  The survey also revealed that not taking vacation days resulted in anger problems among staffers. A lot of people ask me how I manage several jobs at once.  In fact, it seems to be a focus of what people ask me  about most. I will say that I do better with several jobs and all my vacation time than I did with one job and little to no vacation time. The reasons I didn't take vacation in the past were noble.  I meant well and even spiritualized it.  But, it actually worked against me, not for me.  It's important to take all of your time off, particularly if you're a pastor -- I encourage you to  take every ...

"Don't ever keep family secrets...they are one of the most destructive things ever.  If you want to build a healthy family, start now in the very beginning by building one that is secret-free." This was said to me by a Christian counselor from Emerge Ministries many years ago.  Larry and I were married a short time.  The problems that led me to go to counseling at that time were not between Larry and I, but concerned healing from the past.  I came from a broken home and Larry and I both had experienced situations in our backgrounds where family secrets were an issue.  We needed not only coping skills but knowledge of how to proceed to build our own healthy family.  I didn't want our new marriage to blow up in smoke because we didn't have the proper foundation from which to build so I quickly sought help for me...for us. The counselor's words were life for me, for us -- for our marriage and subsequent family we would create. The counselor encouraged me t...

I've been on a forgiveness journey for a few months, and have written about it weekly in my "cup of coffee" devotional e-zine that I send out on Wednesdays but haven't written too much about it here on my blog.  Today however, it's heavily on my mind for a few reasons , one being that today is shaping up to be one of the more challenging days in the process .  So I'm going to write about it here today. Some of you may wonder why I'm using the terms process or journey.   The fact is that some hurts are deeper than others.  If someone just forgets to call you  when they said they would or neglects to say hi to you, that's a very small slight, something that most people can easily forgive and forget in a few moments time.  Other hurts are things that rock your world, or cause long term ramifications.  Those things aren't usually forgiven overnight and you go through a process of steps to total forgiveness. The person I'm forgiving has caused...

Last year I was speaking at a conference and I wasn't feeling well.  In between teaching sessions I went to lay down.  A friend who was also preaching at the same conference came and checked on me and said, "Deanna, what's wrong?" and I said, "Oh don't worry, it's nothing serious.  I really think it's just stress and it's catching up with me." And to that my friend responded, "Deanna, don't downplay stress!  Many times we say, 'oh, it's just stress' and we act like it's nothing to really concern ourselves with if it's "just stress".  Stress is something that is quite serious and this issue needs to be addressed." Hmmm.  I stood corrected.  Well, not literally.  I mean, I remained laying down until I had to speak again...lol.  But with the issue at hand, I was justifiably rebuked.  Her words started a hunger in me for new information about stress and it's physical ramifications. Stress affects...

A new study has revealed that emotional pain hurts as much as physical pain. Last year I was expressing to my boss a situation in my life that was stressful and she asked me the question, "Where do you feel it in your body?"  I said, "excuse me?"  Nobody had ever asked me that question before.  Kathryn reposed the question: "Where do you feel it?  Where in your body do you specifically feel the pain of this situation?"  I had never thought of it that way before and upon stopping to think about it, I realized that when I focused on this particular situation I could definitely feel negative effects in different parts of my body.  She went on to explain to me how powerful this connection is. Of course this was not news to God, although it was news to me.  He created us to respond this way -- some of us are just catching up to figure it out! There are toxic situations in our lives that cry out to be changed.  Our body talks to us (through...

Weight, that is.   Last night at my Weight Watcher meeting I reached my 5% goal ~ that means losing 5% of my original body weight.  It feels great by the way! I am seeing changes in my health which was the catalyst the brought me back to a WW meeting.  Two weeks ago my leader shared some of the great things that can happen with your health just by losing 5% and it really fueled me up to push to get to this goal and move beyond.  I love my new WW leader and my new WW class.  There's a married couple there that I just adore ~ their names are Hector and Sandy and together they have lost over 100 pounds!  They have fabulous ideas for success and last week Hector shared with me about 3 point mini cheesecakes which have become my new treat.   Sandy told me about bagel thins which have now also become a favorite.  I have a sweet tooth -- I don't need to "over indulge" but I really crave a little something sweet everyday, either with a cup of tea i...

Last night I got home from  the Fusion Christmas dinner, petted the dogs, got in my night clothes, made an iced tea and settled in to finish two teachings that I have to put the finishing touches on before Christmas break.  As I mentioned in my blog the other day, I've been working double on things to be able to take some time of at the holidays.  After I was done polishing off two messages and returning urgent mail messages, I found myself feeling down.  I mean really down.  Like crazy down. I shouldn't be down. What's wrong with me? We just had a fantastic night at Fusion. God is up to NEW things at Celebration . Amazing opportunities have been coming my way in life and ministry! God has blessed me in  having a part in being a significant influence in some people's spiritual journey. I have been taking good care of myself health wise.  (Well, driving myself like crazy the past week with work, BUT -- eating right, exercising and taking vita...

So last Wednesday night someone was at the pulpit receiving the offering and in about three minutes I was supposed to come forward and teach.  During this time I felt my eyes drying out with my contacts feeling like they were going to pop out.  I blinked repeatedly to try to wet my eyes and thought to myself, "should I come off the platform and take my contacts out and put my glasses on, or what?"  I resisted the temptation to do that although I was extremely uncomfortable.   I just thought it would be a really unprofessional thing to possibly have to ask someone to stall at the pulpit while I removed my contacts.  I got through a 30 minute teaching while every last bit of liquid left in my eyes evaporated.  As soon as I was done teaching, I quickly removed the contacts and put my glasses on.   This was actually a culmination of my eyes feeling parched for about  three months now.  I've been going through lot of rewetting drops...

I went to my eye doctor, thinking I would be in and out in an hour and go to CVS for an eye drops prescription and be done.  Wrong.  I left at 10 am and got home at 6:30 pm.  I have had what I thought was a stye on my eye since March 8.  I have been going without make up or contacts and putting compresses on.  It had not gotten better.  But I was just giving it time.   To be honest I've been sick of going to doctors this past year and didn't want to go to one more!    Wednesday morning I woke up at district council and discovered I was experiencing a loss of vision in my affected eye, and in fact I could not read at all with that eye.  It started when I woke up and flipped open my cell phone to see what time it was and couldn't read the numbers on the phone a few inches away.  They were a complete blur and when I looked at a book, it looked like several sentences were stacked up on top of each other. I could see perf...

This morning is my stress test. Do I have stress?  Is the pope Catholic?  Is Crystal Bowersox amazing on this season of American Idol? Is chocolate essential for quality of life? Yes... I have lots of stress for sure, but I'm feeling good about this test! I will post in the comments section with any updates in the next week on this subject...tomorrow it's a new day and on to happier subjects!  I can't wait!

There are times we feel trapped and we can't see a way out, over, or under.  But God can pull a solution out of NOWHERE and solve it in two seconds flat.  He did that for me yesterday.  Less than two weeks ago I was praying with two friends for a miracle I needed.  I really did not see any way that this would be possible at least not in the short term, but on my way home from a trip to the doctor's in Sarasota yesterday, a friend called and basically said, "I'm giving you a miracle.."  I was shocked to say the least.  But why was I shocked?  I guess it was like the early church when they were praying for Peter to be released from prison and when he showed up and knocked at the door they simply coudn't believe it was him!  Isn't it so funny how we pray for miracles and then we're shocked when God does them?  Man, we need to stop being shocked!  That's just the God we serve.    He is abso-freakin-lutely am...