Deanna Doss Shrodes

I know...it's been a while! Actually a few weeks since I've posted on this blog.  I'm back. :) Photo Credit: Deanna Shrodes (Hemingway's Writing Studio) There's a good reason I haven't been posting here on this blog for a few weeks. I've been concentrating on writing my story at Adoptee Restoration.  I'd be honored if you'd hop over and read it sometime. Lots of people are reading it...like thousands of people. (I know, crazy, right?) Last night I put it all under one link so it would be easily found and forwarded. Get it here. One thing I've observed through the process of writing and publishing my story over the few weeks time is that a lot of people live in terrible fear of sharing their story. The reaction to people reading my story is as if I jumped off a cliff or got into a cage with a lion.

One of my friends takes care of her young adult son 24/7, who is paralyzed from a car accident. Another friend has struggled with infertility for fifteen years. Yet another friend is beaten so bad by her husband at least once a month that sometimes she has to wait two weeks before going back to church so that all the bruises will disappear and no one will suspect. "Why doesn't she just leave?" you say.

Can anyone handle one more post about the election? Probably not.  Even though I've never posted such, at least this election. I have nothing to say about candidates or issues or results or how long it took to vote. Or how anyone should vote. I'm tired of hearing about it too. Let's talk about maturity. One thing any election year shows me in huge degree is people's personal maturity level. How you react to people with different political views tells me most everything I need to know about you. Four years ago when the last presidential election was held a lady in the church who was politically active did some digging to try to find out my views on a few things and then suddenly, she was gone. Just like that. All it took was for her to think she knew how I felt about various issues. Did she have a conversation with me about it? No. Did she e-mail me about it? No.   It happened again this year with someone. Once they thought they ascertained my poli...

A bunch of women have blown me away with their feedback to my Fifty Shades of Grey message . I have a follow up today on my weekly ezine , featuring some of the response. Today's message is: "Should you listen to God...or your husband?" Go here to read it, and better yet you can subscribe here so you can get my ezine in your box weekly. (Just go to the little box in the bottom left hand corner and put in your e-mail address. Once you click the link, check the "cup of coffee" to receive it.) Also, my dear friend, Dr. Donna Sallee shared a post yesterday on Pastoring Partners Network, on the Leviathan spirit . I asked her to share this because it was such a help to me personally. Learning about this has rocked my world. Did you ever deal with something and have no idea what it was until someone educated you about it? This happened to me recently. I thought the Jezebel and Absalom spirits were pretty fierce until I came face to face with Leviathan.  Dr. Don...

The book, Fifty Shades of Grey has swept the nation, and the world, for that matter.  The series has sold 40 million copies worldwide, with 32 Million sold in the USA and the book rights having been sold in 37 countries, setting the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time.   Readership is not limited to unchurched women.  Marsha Woolley, our women's director for Pen-Florida District of the Assemblies of God, asked me to address this subject at our state-wide conference today at the World Center Marriott in Orlando. I wanted the women in attendance to be able to focus on the message without having to keep up with taking notes. So I let them know that the manuscript of my message in it's entirety, would be made available here. Whether you were in attendance or not, you can read my entire message, at this link.    Many pastors, writers and speakers have addressed this message and brought excellent points forward. However, I h...

Recently I had someone tell me God told them it was okay to leave their husband. Their Godly husband who they readily admit has done nothing but love and serve them. Someone also told me God told them it's perfectly fine to tithe your time instead of your money. This change has evidently been made because of the economy. Not sure when God sent out this amendment to His Word. (Can somebody forward that memo to me?) Another person says God is okay with disrespecting pastoral leadership. This "God" seems woefully confused these days, and different from what I see in His Word.

Wishy-washiness is so unattractive. Ever met somebody who just fits in wherever they are because they change to accommodate their surroundings?  I'm not referring to those who are team players or possess good interpersonal skills.  It's about a lack of backbone and integrity. It's about changing your attitudes and language and posturing simply because of who you're with -- usually for selfish reasons.  It's about playing political games and selling out for personal gain. (I truly believe there is more of this in ministry than in world politics.) Some people are well liked, but they die never accomplishing anything, except for having less enemies than those who change the world. I'd personally rather deal with South Korea than Switzerland because at least I know what they stand for. I've written a manifesto for those who hate the middle and love the edge. Enjoy. MANIFESTO FOR DEVIL-BUTT KICKERS Stand up. Stand out. Stop blending in. Qu...

I've been wanting to write about this for a while and there's never a good time. The reason for this is that every single day one of the 1,326 people on my Facebook friends list is guilty of this behavior. And I know when I call it out, at least one of those 1,326 people will take it personally.  I'll probably get an e-mail or a vaguebook slam from somebody who doesn't have the character to face their issues instead of Facebook them.  So I let it go. But today I woke up saying, "I'm going to address this today and let the chips fall where they may."  I'm calling these behaviors out that cause many to think you're a Facebook fiend rather than a Facebook friend.  1) Vaguebooking.  In case you don't know what this is, read my two posts on it here and here . These posts got more feedback on my Facebook, Twitter and private inbox than possibly any other posts I've written. It appears that the majority of people apparently hate this an...

I begin this post by giving a disclaimer that it's not about anyone specific at the church where I serve as a pastor.  If you're among the many people at Celebration Church who have recently experienced a breakup, this isn't about you personally.  I could have waited to write this post until no one at Celebration is breaking up but the truth is, if that was the case I'd never write the post. Breakups happen in our church body all the time. I'm sure it happens at your church too. So let's unpack this issue that all of us who are Christians and a part of a local church, face. Dating stinks for the church. It's only a win if the people actually get married, and well...let me ask you...did you marry the one and only person you ever dated? A few of you will be able to say yes to this question. For most, the answer will be no. And in some cases, it's not a win for them or the church if they get married but aren't really right for each other but ge...

  Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you. I can always find someone to say they sympathize. If I wear my heart out on my sleeve. But I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies. All I want is someone to believe.  ~Billy Joel What would happen if every Christian were committed to live in radical truth? Truth when it hurts, truth. Truth when you might lose the job, truth. Truth when you might lose the contract, truth. Truth when it's embarrassing truth. Truth when you're uncomfortable truth. Truth when you're point blank asked and truth is the last thing you want to give truth. If we want the world to pay attention...maybe we should start by telling the truth. Those who serve in ministry or have grown up in church have probably heard thousands of sermons. Many of them, we don't remember. A few we never forget. Years ago on a Wednesda...

If you would have ever told me that I'd one day be serving as a relationship advice columnist in a city newspaper I'd have said that you were  crazy! But here I am, writing for Insight . To be honest, some of the covers or contents are a bit saucy.  I'm kinda like a fish out of water, writing for this paper. But what an open door for me to be a light! I'm so grateful.  Dustin read my column from last month but he said, "Mom, please keep it with you...don't leave that paper laying around in my room..."   (This month's cover is a little more risque than the one you see at left.) Wow!  That says two things to me: first of all, we've raised a young man of character and godly morals. Second, writing for this paper is an amazing opportunity for me to make relationships with a whole new group of people, have opportunity to speak into their lives, and hopefully make a difference. I thought I would re-print last month's column here and let my blog...

I've never in the history of my blog written about what I'm going to write about today. I've been asked to by a few people, and some even begged me. But I never have. I'll just tell you that up front, today is an experiment.  It may be the first and last time I write about it. Why have I never ventured to this topic? Because I can't handle people disagreeing with me about it. That's rare. By nature I am very open to feedback. I welcome differing points of view and open conversation. I know how important healthy disagreement and even debate is. But on this, I'm just telling you, I can't go there. I'm still working on it. I've met a lot of people who spout off platitudes on this topic, especially if they aren't in the same shoes. And it gets messy. And hurtful. So I stay quiet. Because I'm not into messy or hurtful, at least never on purpose. I only talk to a few close friends who I know understand about this issue. They typic...

I love my kids and  I love other people's kids. I believe children are a heritage of the Lord - a blessing to be highly valued. Although our children are precious treasures, there are times that everyone needs to be away from kids -- their own, or other people's. This week was one of those times for Larry and me. One of the reasons our marriage has lasted for 25 years is, we prioritize time for the two of us, without our children. We need this for the health of our relationship. My favorite part of this week were the "adults only areas" of Club Med. They were really strict about it -- no exceptions. The church could learn a lot from this!  When you go away with your husband or wife, private time in your hotel room is a given. But what about the other times? Sometimes you want public-private time with your spouse, as much of an oxymoron as that seems.  And sometimes it's about being in a setting where when you engage in conversation or activities, it's f...

Every week I coach people who are unemployed. I also pastor people who are looking for jobs. One thing I hear often is, "I've done all I can do." Enter truth. Most people have not sent out all the resumes they could send out. Most people have not called every company possible. Most people have not made an in-person visit to all of the businesses in their vicinity. Most people have not contacted every person in their network. Most people have not maximized social media in their search. Most people have not made it their full time job to find a job. Most people have not spent even 20 hours that week to find a job let alone 40. Most people have not broadened their horizons beyond their current field to consider other options, even temporary ones. Most people who begin a meeting with me by telling me they've done "all they could do" this week, have not made an accurate statement. Most people follow their initial statement by saying they are fr...

As a pastor I am often asked about verbal abuse. Many are confused on the issue and this is understandable. To be quite honest, I've dealt with countless people who are actually living with abuse and don't realize it or are in denial, while others claim to be verbally abused, and really aren't. Obviously, physical abuse is much more identifiable. In a situation where a person is being physically abused, any leader with their head on straight will advise them to get to safety as soon as possible. Verbal abuse presents a lot of questions. For starters, at what point does something become verbal abuse? How should one respond? When questioned, I have always answered by telling people that this is very case-by-case specific and requires a lot of discernment. I still believe that, and would also like to thank my friend, certified life coach Terri Yarbrough von Wood, for sharing this article .  It's really helpful and provides a lot of insight not only to those who may b...

The following is a guest post from a great man who walks with God. I'm honored to have my husband, Pastor Larry Shrodes, share with my readers today. He wrote about this topic in his weekly ezine to the men of our church recently and I thought it was a great word. I invited him to share on my blog today about what he believes is one of the greatest inconsistencies in the church at large, today. I hope it is enlightening for you. The lead pastor of Northeast Assembly of God followed Carl Dallas and his family out the church doors following the service this past Sunday.  Stopping Carl in the parking lot he said, "Carl, I need a minute of your time to talk to you about something.  You've been coming to our church for the past year and and a half and I want you to know that I love you.  You have a great family and I really enjoy you.  We've had some great times of fellowship, however I want you to know that today is your last Sunday here at Northeast.  ...