Deanna Doss Shrodes

"The moment you can visualize being free from the things that hold you back, you have indeed begun to set yourself free."---Unknown Everyone's talking about freedom, today! There are many different areas of our lives and our world where freedom is needed.   I am passionate about living free, as far as it depends on me. I find this is often a process with different facets of life. At times it is a journey rather than instantaneous, to move into a new realm of freedom. Today I have joined forces with my dear friend, Laura Dennis, to write a 2-part post -- the first half of which is on her blog today. We're sharing on the subject:  "Freedom in Standing Your Ground: Sometimes Adoption and Reunion Ain’t Pretty!" The second half will be at my Adoptee Restoration blog tomorrow. Hop on over to Laura's today and check out our post there.

Many of the people who read my writing each day do so at my other blog and I'm new to them. I've only been out of the adoption closet since August 13, 2012 -- sharing at Lost Daughters , and blogging at my own adoptee site since January 1, 2013 . So many people who read my adoption writings think I'm a brand new blogger. I hear, "Wow Deanna, you're doing pretty well for being brand new at this." Well, actually, I'm an old blogger. In more ways than one. Peri-menopause bites. I've been blogging here every day for over six years and before that I blogged on MySpace. (Yes, seriously...lol)  Along the way people have noticed how much I love blogging and asked me to write a few articles about it, as well as teach a workshop or two. This past week I answered some mail about blogging and I thought I'd offer a few helps here today on the blog for those who may have interest.

Yoo hoo................ Are you in there, Deanna? Some of you wonder where I've been. Others may be so busy knocking out your new year's resolutions you didn't stop to notice that I'm blogging here part of the time and elsewhere part of the time now. I haven't left deannashrodes.net,  and have no intentions to. I'm just getting the party started over at Adoptee Restoration . We're 19 days in and it's been an amazing journey for me. It also seems to be making a difference in hearts and lives. The comment thread is super active and my email mailbox has been too much to handle on some days. I try to end each day with an empty box but on a few days I didn't manage it. I guess I need to take my own advice .  It's not good in the sense that there are really that many hurting people out there and in another sense it's awesome to be part of meeting a need! Today, I'm blogging at the community that started it all for me... Lost Daughter...

New Year's resolutions have always been something I've done each year.  I journal, make lists and arrive at my goals for the coming year with a lot of introspection and forethought. This year, I've really streamlined things in an effort to simplify. By simplify I don't infer slacking or scaling back on my dreams.  Photo Credit: qisur, Creative Commons I learned some huge lessons in 2012, one of which is this: "You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21 Last year I set mammoth goals . Some of them, I reached. Victory was sweet. I love success. With other goals, I fell flat on my face.    I learned a lot, though. And, I've tried to remember, I never have to "fail" again as long as I learn. When we take situations and learn from them, there's no failure, only learning. And, learning is good! With less goals, I hope to reach more as well as have plenty of available margin for God to s...

Every year I select a "word of the year" that is my personal theme. This year my word is... [drumroll please] BRAVE. My word is brave. And today I'm starting the new year on this first day of 2013 with one of the bravest (maybe the bravest) thing I've ever done. Today is the launch of my adoption blog. This means a lot to me. It's 46 years in the making and if you would have told me a year ago that I'd be doing this I would have thought you were crazy.  I first mentioned adoption in this post , on July 11 of 2012 and I basically said it was the first and most likely last time I would write about it.  I had no idea what God had in store for me! A lot can change in a year. I changed so much in 2012 and the new blog is a reflection of that. My desire was to launch it on the first day of the new year, symbolizing a new beginning and new levels, for me...and for others I desire to help. I want to thank two people who have been so instrument...

Hi. It's me. Deanna. I feel as if I need to re-introduce myself. :) Sorry I didn't show up yesterday.   Amidst making sure all the bases are covered at church and NextJob,  I'm taking a few days off here and there for family time during Christmas/New Years, and to accomplish some projects. Lost Daughters just got a book deal! That's right, Lost Daughters, "the book" is coming! An anthology of our work is being published, in book form, for the whole world to read.  Yeahhhhhhhhhh...super excited about that, and the LD sisterhood is in full swing preparing for this monumental endeavor. To say I'm excited to be a contributing writer on this project doesn't even begin to describe my feelings. I'm on deadline for a few articles that are due the first week of the year. Not complaining! Writing is what puts the wind in my sails. And, gives me a little money for hairspray. Most pressing on my mind right now is finalizing my personal adoption b...

Yesterday was an overwhelming day. I didn't blog. Yeah, I know...that makes two days in a week. People might actually think the apocalypse is coming since I haven't blogged two days this week. It's a sign of the times, friends. Get your cans or pork and beans ready, and prepare to flee to the mountains.  Seriously, I'm blogging today at Lost Daughters, writing at my spiritual column on the site, so check me out there today . I'm talking about why adoptees don't let go of the past. The answer may be a little different than you expect. For those who are adoptees or are those who care about them, it's important information to know. One more day til' Christmas Eve!!  Help us, all Lord! Something tells me the world shouldn't be this stressed out on Your birthday. Oh for an opportunity to just get quiet and focus on You!

Recently, Amanda Woolston who founded and leads Lost Daughters, asked me if I would serve as the spiritual columnist for Lost Daughters . I will have the privilege of unpacking the issues of adoption from a spiritual perspective and sharing about the hope and healing that is available. How amazing is that? If you would have told me even seven months ago that any of this would be taking place I would have thought you were crazy! It's been just six months since I started writing about adoption. I first shared here about my leap of faith in applying to be a writer at Lost Daughters.  And then I shared here about my first post when I was accepted to join the writing team.  So much has happened in just a few months time. I stand in awe of what has happened and how God has grown me and healed me in the process of writing there. I can't even fathom not being a part of this community. And I'm overwhelmed at the opportunities God has opened for me to somehow be a blessing...

God is in the business of preserving families. It is His heart. It's my heart too. And, I'll unabashedly say here that I believe it should be everyone's heart. Everyone likes good news and I've got some for you today. If you are in doubt that God still speaks today and that He uses people to accomplish His work, I pray this will speak to you. Last night I was sitting in service at Celebration Church where we are pastors, and my husband was preaching. His message was about what we want to be remembered for in life, and he made the statement that we can't change our past but we can change the future.  In that moment, God spoke to me. He began to give me my next post for Lost Daughters, where I'm also a blogger. To be honest it's more than just another place where I blog. It's a sisterhood. A lifeline. A place that has come to mean a great deal to me, because of the amazing women who are there. During the service I basically had this entire post...

Today I'm blogging at Lost Daughters , in a post entitled, The Unexpected . We're discussing things people would never expect about living as an adult adoptee. This is my last post in the NaBloPoMo series for National Adoption Month.  But... I encourage all my readers to stop by Lost Daughters each day during the rest of the month to read what the amazing bloggers at Lost Daughters are writing.  Together, the sisterhood is changing the world!!  I am so thankful for the life-changing team there and the difference we're making. We not only serve as agents of healing in one another's lives, but we are working for reform. And we shall succeed! 

Today I am blogging at Lost Daughters.  This month is National Adoption Month as well as NaBloPoMo . Many adoptees are focusing on bringing awareness to adoption reform. They are educating others about what it's like to grow up adopted, and what it's like to live as an adult adoptee in today's world.   This month we also celebrate Thanksgiving. It is particularly meaningful for me this year. It has always been my favorite holiday, and not because of the food. (Although I do love food. This cannot be denied.) I love it for many other reasons, some of which I'll share as the month goes on.  Today I'd like to give thanks for the sisterhood at Lost Daughters. The sisters there have been very instrumental in my life this past year, and I am so grateful to God for allowing me to be a part of such an amazing group. I'm writing posts at Lost Daughters three times this month for the series, but I encourage you to read the entire 30 day blog series because it wi...

Today I am blogging at one of my favorite places to be --  Lost Daughters . All month long Lost Daughters writers are participating in NaBloPoMo . For those who don't know, that stands for National Blog Posting Month. NaBloPoMo is a month long writing exercise that takes place annually in November. Participants write a blog post each and every day of the month. Anyone who has read my blog for a while knows that I basically do NaBloPoMo every day of the year, every month, for the past 7 years. :) I'm absolutely delighted to have the privilege of sharing at Lost Daughters during NaBloPoMo. The writers of Lost Daughters created a list of subjects concerning adoption that we are writing about during this time. It's going to be a powerful month of insight from those who understand and can speak to adoption best -- adoptees. My post there today is one of the most important things I've ever written.   Much love,

Today is Fun Friday, which means...it's my day off! I love Fridays. Adore them. Crave them. What could be better than a day to do what we want to do? (To have more time to do what you want to do, vs. what you have to do, go here , where I'm helping lots of people.) I am blogging today at Lost Daughters , one of my favorite places to be. I enjoy blogging there on occasion when I get brave enough to do so. :) More than that, I enjoy the sisterhood I've found there, with my adult adoptee friends who understand on a level that is impossible for others. Today at Lost Daughters, I'm sharing specifically about what I'm doing to help orphans. Here's my post, if you're interested in following me there today. Have a most blessed day! Much love,  

Last month I wrote my very first adoption related post here on my blog, and said it would probably be my first and last. I was aware of the controversy it would probably bring, as well as the hurtful feelings that would result if those who are not adoptees rose up to disagree.  Although everyone wasn't totally happy, the positive response was overwhelming. I received a lot of private mail that was encouraging, and it outweighed the negative reactions. A few people literally begged me to write more. I wrote a follow up post here , about what I planned to do next. After prayer and consideration, I know I am supposed to start a separate blog about adoption, in addition to writing here at deannashrodes.net.  I am working on this new blog (though it is not live yet), as well as launching a Tampa support group for adult adoptees. However, I believe the best way for me to get my feet wet as I start the blog and support group is to begin by joining others. I need to learn, gr...

  You're sad. Frustrated. Maybe a little angry. Someone has deleted you from Facebook. Unfollowed you on Twitter. Unsubscribed from your blog. Written you a letter saying how disappointed they are in you. Left your church. Distanced themselves from you. Gotten quiet. This hurts even though you might act like it doesn't matter. Your crime? Doing what you were born to do. What God made you to do.  What you're supposed to be doing. What you were born to do upsets their apple cart in some way. Makes them uneasy. Threatens their comfort level or their status quo. They rant or shut you out. Sometimes they do both in rapid succession. Either way, you feel the pain. The root of the problem is not the fact that you're doing what you were born to do, it's that they are insecure about it for some reason. Mind if I share three things with you that might help if you're facing this? Take a deep breath. Literally. For m...

"Sink or swim!" Ever heard that advice or had someone try it on you?  Yeah, me too. What pathetic advice. I was thrown in three times before the age of 18 (Not by my parents!  By other people. Just want to clarify that.) Three different idiots threw me in a pool in an effort to get me to swim. Each time somebody had to jump in and save me. The last time I remember it happening was in high school when a friend thought it was a joke when I shared my fear and asked to not be pushed in or splashed. She pushed me into the deep end thinking I'd end up swimming. She was wrong. Her brother who was in the Marines  was keeping an eye on things from the other end of the pool and when I never popped up or got out, he realized I needed help. He ended up jumping in to save me. Thank God for the Marines! :)  I used to think I must be the fattest kid in the world since I stayed at the bottom. You  know how people say, "Jump in! It'll be fun and you'll spring to the...

I've never in the history of my blog written about what I'm going to write about today. I've been asked to by a few people, and some even begged me. But I never have. I'll just tell you that up front, today is an experiment.  It may be the first and last time I write about it. Why have I never ventured to this topic? Because I can't handle people disagreeing with me about it. That's rare. By nature I am very open to feedback. I welcome differing points of view and open conversation. I know how important healthy disagreement and even debate is. But on this, I'm just telling you, I can't go there. I'm still working on it. I've met a lot of people who spout off platitudes on this topic, especially if they aren't in the same shoes. And it gets messy. And hurtful. So I stay quiet. Because I'm not into messy or hurtful, at least never on purpose. I only talk to a few close friends who I know understand about this issue. They typic...