deannashrodes.net

Formula for change

2012-01-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

Decide.
Do.
New.

It's really that simple.

How are you different?

2012-01-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

This is Steve Martin's business card.

It's different.

I really love it. I've been considering what's going to go on my new business cards that I use exclusively for writing. This post yesterday was really timely in helping me to develop my ideas.

Different is good. The world has so much of the same. God didn't create you to just blend in.

Stop blending in and embrace different.

Why you need to SAY IT and say it now!

2012-01-27T15:05:00.001-05:00

If you think something and it has the power to increase someone in any way, say it now.

Say it today.

Say it to them.

Don't wait a second longer.

You never know how that word may affect them. It may bring healing to their soul. It may change the trajectory of their career. It may convince them to keep going with a worthy goal they considered giving up on. It may just save their life.

Say it, and say it now. Text them. Tweet them. Facebook them. E-mail them. Stop by their house. Do what it takes, and do it now.

Lately when the Lord has brought a friend to my mind and impressed upon me to pray for them, I communicate with them right then while I'm praying. Sometimes it's at 3 am. I don't call and wake them up of course, but I send a message for them to find when they wake up. Many of them have told me it's one of the best thing that's ever happened to them. Others have said, "you have no idea how this changed the course of my week."

Don't just think about people.
Don't just pray about people.
Tell them.

Telling them means everything.

Struggling with wanting your own way all the time?

2012-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

I believe most people's prayers are simply directed along the lines of how they want things to go. Prayers of total surrender aren't easy to come by. There are some things we don't need to pray about, because they are already spelled out in the Bible. Other things aren't clearly stated and we have to seek the Lord as to His will.

What about the things we're not so sure about?

I've come to believe this. True faith is letting God make the decision. Faith is not really faith if we just insist on having our own way in prayer and sound like a broken record telling God what we want rather than surrendering to what He wants.

True faith is believing that God will do what is best for me.

True faith is holding on to His promises, knowing that even if He makes the decision in a direction that is hard for me, I know He will see me through.

True faith is trusting God to make the decision, knowing He will strengthen, uphold and even carry me at times.

There are times that the things I juggle are so overwhelming I don't know that I'm going to do or how God is going to solve things. True faith is trusting Him to lead, guide, protect, heal, and intervene the way He sees fit.

True faith isn't believing that I'll get my way. It's trusting in the fact that He is good and will act on my behalf in just the way I need at the time.

What I learned from Wife Swapping

2012-01-25T09:50:00.004-05:00

Lately Larry and I have been catching up on past episodes of Celebrity Wife Swap. If you're not familiar with this show, what happens is that the wives exchange households for a week and experience what it's like to be part of another family. Those paired together are always opposites and provide a guaranteed opportunity for conflict. There are hilarious as well as heartwarming parts of every episode.

Without exception every wife is shocked by the way the other woman's home operates and how the family members relate to one another. Usually they learn at least one positive thing from the other, while also discovering the weaknesses of each family unit. There are times a wife can't handle the differences, goes ballistic or has a crying jag and and quits.

There's something I've realized watching a bunch of these shows. Every family has unique dynamics that would be seen as bizarre by others. Even if you're not a celebrity, you have these idiosyncrasies, I guarantee it! My family has them too. Things like the fact that we all work best at night and it's nothing strange for any of us to approach someone else in the family to discuss a project or work on things together at 3 AM. We've got two huge dogs that are literally part of the family who are never in kennels while we're home. Max and Maddie live right alongside us, sometimes on top of us while we sit on the couch! In our house Larry cooks just as much as I do and he's really good at it. We make our decisions as partners, and we have raised our children together in every sense of the word. (I've learned that many people don't. Even if there's a Dad in the home many view the kids as Mom's domain and she does most of the caring for them, and decision making regarding them.) At home we live in PJ's. When someone's coming over, we have to let everyone in the family know to get dressed, depending on who it is. We have some friends who are so close, we stay in PJ's even if they do come over.

This is insanity to some people, but it works for us. I could handle being on Wife Swap without melting down or quitting, but I don't want to. My life works for me although most wouldn't understand it or want it. That's one of the things I believe is most important when people consider how to handle all their roles and responsibilities well. If what you're doing works for you, don't worry about whether what you do would be accepted by others. They might not understand that you are a family with a stay-at-home-dad or that your family doesn't eat meat or that you sing the Doxology before every meal. It's your family. You're the only ones who have to understand it or live it. Go about your business and when somebody finds out one of your family idiosyncrasies and says, "you do WHAT?" resist the tendency to doubt yourself or feel lesser than.

Is it working for you? That's all that matters. Let it work.

Go cut a hole in the roof. I dare you!

2012-01-24T11:33:00.006-05:00

Are you facing roadblocks on the way to your dream?

God gives people creative ideas to get things done in an unconventional way. Think about the biblical account of the four people who wanted to bring their paralyzed friend to Jesus for healing, but couldn't come through the door because the room was already so full. They brainstormed to think of how their goal might be reached to get their friend to Jesus, and ended up cutting a hole in the roof and lowering him down to Jesus. It worked!

Maybe today you're in a situation where conventional things aren't working. You can't get through and when you try, you encounter "Catch 22's". Things like being told, "you've got a lot of talent but no experience." You think, "How am I supposed to get experience if somebody won't give me a chance?"

You can stand there and get frustrated.
You can complain.
You can quit.
Or maybe...

it's time to cut a hole in the roof.

Typical conversations with my 20 year old

2012-01-23T11:04:00.004-05:00

Friday afternoon 1/20/12
Standing in our kitchen at home

Jordan: Hey Mom, I'm soooo excited for tonight.

Me: What's going on?

Jordan: I'm going with Paul, Jorge and Hayden to see my favorite bands at the House of Blues in Orlando tonight.

Me: Which bands are these? The ones you go to where people get punched in the face while they're listening?

Jordan: Yeah, yeah, but they're amazing. Tonight it's August Burns Red, Texas in July, Silverstein and Letlive.

Me: I will just never understand why anyone would want to go back to a concert where they get punched in the face...maybe you could explain this to me.

Jordan: Mom, mom, seriously... it's not about being punched in the face. Some of these bands have an amazing message. You need to consider the lyrics.

Me: Be careful, Jordan. I get a little concerned with this hardcore stuff. Do you think this environment lends itself to people bringing drugs to these concerts? I'm thinking there might be some people smoking weed at the very least.

Jordan: Mom, get real, people smoke weed at every concert. You've just never realized it.

Me: Every concert? Hmm. That's strange. I've been to so many Gaither Homecomings and nobody has smoked weed that I've seen.

Jordan: They do, you just don't see them.

Me: [eyebrows raised] Really? I had no idea. So you mean while the Gaither Vocal Band is singing "Let Freedom Ring" people get inspired to get free and smoke some weed?

Jordan: Yeah, happens all the time. You just never noticed it.

Me: I never knew that. Thanks for enlightening me. Well, I want you guys to be careful tonight. Drive careful to and from Orlando, and stay away from the weed.

Jordan: Of course, of course. I'm really hoping to get a picture with the drummers from August Burns Red and Texas in July and talk to them.

Jordan and Matt Greiner from August Burns Red

Me: I hope you do hon, that would be so great.

Saturday morning, 3:30 AM
Jordan walks in from concert wee hours of Saturday morning. Larry and I have waited up for him. Huge smile on his face, so excited.

Jordan: Mom! I talked to both of them and got a picture!! It was sooooo awesome. It was the best night ever!!!!

Me: Wait...first I need to know, did you get punched in the face?

Jordan with Adam Gray from Texas in July

Jordan: [sheepishly]Yeah, I did. See, I have a little bruise under my eye. It's alright though.

[I look at him and sigh, and shake my head - wondering how long it will take for the bruise under his eye to go away.]

Jordan: Yeah, it was awesome!!! [Bouncing around the room while he talks] I can't wait to show you all my photos but my phone is dead. I got to meet the drummer and talk to him about how he flips his sticks when he plays and how I learned to do that from him. It was so amazing!!! He was like, "does your neck get cut when you flip your sticks?" and I was like, "yeah, yeah that happens all the time!" and he was like, "I hate when that happens" and I was like, "I know, right???!!"

Me: I'm glad you had such a good time. Let's go to sleep and we'll look at your pictures tomorrow.

Jordan: Yep! Good night mom. Love you.

Me: Goodnight, babe. Love you too.

Saturday, 1:30 PM
I am sitting on my bed, with my laptop, still working on getting details wrapped up for Sunday's service. Jordan comes in, sits next to me on the bed.

Jordan: [groaning in pain] Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Me: What's wrong hon?

Jordan: Whiplash.

Me: From what?

Jordan: The concert last night. I'm so sore today. My neck hurts.

Me: Why? Sore from what?

Jordan: I banged my head so hard to the music.

Me: Oh.

Jordan: Hey, my phone is charged now, so I can show you the pictures.

[I look at about thirty pictures and 3 videos he recorded on his iPhone of the bands performing.]

Jordan: Look at this one. It's Jake Luhrs from August Burns Red. He's the frontman singing this song, Salt and Light. On this one right here he's singing, "I’m the harbinger, not the author of these timeless words. Led by the Comforter I sing to you. And if my throat were to be cut from ear to ear, I hope that these words would carry on in these songs that I pray you sing one day. We sing for you. We sing for you. We sing for you. We sing for you. We sing for you. We sing for you. We sing for you. We sing for you."

Me: Wow, that's awesome. I'm glad you had such a good time but I'm sorry your neck is sore.

[Reaching over to rub his neck.]

Jordan: That's okay, it was so worth it.

Sunday 12:45 PM
In the car on the way to lunch after church. Jordan is listening to videos on his iPhone.

Jordan: Mom, listen to this...it's Jake Luhrs from August Burns Red giving his testimony.

Me: [laying back in my seat, exhausted after church on Sunday.] Okay...go ahead, turn it up. I'm listening.

Jordan: [midway through video] Mom, are you awake?

Me: Yep. I'm listening. Just have my eyes closed...

[end video]
Me: Wow. That is really good. You're right Jordan, those guys are making a difference.

Be still and know

2012-01-22T12:00:00.002-05:00

These are condensed notes from the message that I preached today at Celebration. I also expect this to go on our podcast sometime this week for anyone who has interest and might want to listen.

How long has it been since you’ve been still?
I mean absolutely still and listening for God to speak to you?

I love stillness but have to be intentional about it. I have a hate/hate relationship with my phone.

Lately as I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing I have been reading a book entitled Mad Church Disease by Anne Jackson. In it, Jackson writes about her journey of pastoral ministry and the burnout and breakdown she went through. She realized she was melting down after returning text messages in the shower. She felt so pressured and so many expectations to respond to people immediately that she actually had her phone in the shower and was texting. She ended up needing therapy to get back on the road to health.

Before we think this is so crazy, let's consider our own habits. I know when the WIFI is temporarily shut off on our CC campus during any given service, we have people go bonkers about it and run to the media booth asking what's wrong. God forbid we not be connected for a few moments.

On December 29, 2011 the New York Times published this article entitled The Joys of Quiet. My friend Sue Duffield passed it along to me and I was really affected by it. This article speaks of the overwhelming noise in our world today and the great lengths people are going to get away from it and unplug.

Is it wrong to be connected? Certainly not. There’s a place for it – not to mention it's a missionfield. In fact, last week I was privileged to have a part in leading two more friends to the Lord through Facebook. Technology is a wonderful thing, but we’re meant to rule it, not have it rule us.

We have to learn stillness. There is a balance.

Psalm 46:10-11 says, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

We want God to be exalted in our lives. We want to feel He is “with us.” We want to feel that we are not alone, that He is protecting us, that we have a refuge, a fortress.

Many people feel God is not with them. Even on social media people cry out, “where is God in my life right now? Why is this happening?” I see these kinds of statuses every week from people who feel abandoned and alone.

I had a thought, maybe they’re not with God. That’s why they don’t feel God.

God always wants to be with us. But do we want to be with Him?

If you feel like God’s not with you maybe you need to ask if you’re with Him!

The Word of God tells us to draw near to God and He will draw near to us.

This doesn’t mean we need to throw away our computer or TV’s or go to extremes. Ever been to a wacked out church where they tell you to get rid of your TV’s and shut off from the world completely? Yeah, that’s called a cult.

Ecclesiastes 7:18 says, "It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes."

God isn’t asking you to throw away your TV or your computer or your phone. But He is asking you to take time to get still before Him in quiet time, and to honor Him when His word is going forth corporately.

If we want God to share amazing things with us and do amazing things we have to set the atmosphere.

Consider Abraham. God stopped by Abraham's tent on the way to judge the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah. Can you imagine looking outside one day and seeing the Lord walk up to your door with two angels? If that happened to me I’d be calling to my husband and kids saying, “please, somebody wipe down the bathroom, quick!” Of course the Lord being omniscient would already know that it's dirty...

Abraham rushed out to meet the Lord and the angels, washed their feet and made them something to eat. Abraham was faithful to God and honored and created the environment for God to speak countless times – set an atmosphere and so the Lord came and started telling Him things. Now there’s an environment for communication.

When I tell my husband something unimportant I might shout it from the other room. "Hey, do we have any paper towels in the cabinet?" This doesn't require looking into each other's eyes. When I am discussing something important about our relationship, our children, our church life, we have to be connected -- not running by or shouting from the other room.

How much more important is God? We’ve got to set the atmosphere for His presence. We cannot just blend in with our culture and expect Him to follow us around as we run. Do we honor God’s presence? I will answer that...

There is a lack of honor today for the presence of God. If you do not believe that watch all the people that talk to one another during a message or walk in and out like they are at Target or Walmart during worship. There are dimensions of spiritual things that will never be revealed to the apathetic worshipper. If we want something different in God we have to honor His presence, take time to stop, be still, seek His face and follow His leading into new levels of His presence.

There are “secret things of God” and He longs to share them!! The amazing thing is that He doesn’t want to keep His secrets hidden. Any of us can discover them, if we’re willing to take the time and be still. It’s not His heart to keep them hidden but He’s not going to share them with people who don’t honor His presence.

Some people think they are going to miss something if they abandon all else for getting still in God's presence. Not true. We get our best ideas, our best solutions, the answer to all we need in His presence.

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

When God wanted to speak to Moses in Exodus 3 He makes contact with him initially through a burning bush – an angel of the Lord appearing to him in a flame of fire from the bush. The bush burned with fire but was never consumed. Through it God started speaking directly to Him, telling him all kinds of things…telling him He had heard the cries of the people, telling him that He had called him to go and deliver them from their captivity. He told him he would lead them into a “good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey.”

This was a powerful word he received, perhaps the most powerful thing ever communicated to him, but here is a major key, he had to turn to see it and then hear it.

Exodus 3:3 "And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt."

If we want to see and hear great things we have to STOP AND TURN ASIDE!!!

Will you set the atmosphere like Abraham? Will you take time to set the environment so you can hear the secrets He will share?

Will you turn aside like Moses? Will you turn aside and stop to hear the word that God wants to speak to you?

Will you take time to BE STILL AND KNOW that He is God in your life? If you're feeling like God's not with you or He has abandoned you rest assured, He's with you -- but ARE YOU WITH HIM?

Altar time was supposed to begin with this song...technology prevented it. God is still God. He is with us and brings about good things about even when the best laid plans go awry. God is Still God by Seth Nix came on instead. Not my first choice but all is well. :)

Frustrated? Time for a dance dance revolution!

2012-01-21T12:12:00.006-05:00

Yesterday was my day off but with the way my schedule shook out this week I ended up pushing two articles that were on deadline off until the last minute as well as three job seeker coaching sessions. That doesn't make for the best day of rest, but it couldn't be avoided this time. I worked on the articles late Thursday night after getting home from a district women's leadership meeting that I went to in Orlando early that morning. I kept nodding off as I was writing, I was so tired. This doesn't lend itself to creative writing. I was upset with myself because my self-imposed deadline to get it done was Thursday night before bed. It just wasn't happening. I vowed to give the first moments of the day Friday to finish the articles before I did anything else.

I woke up and immediately began writing and was in perfect rhythm. Writers understand this -- it's the place of being where your fingers try to keep up with your thoughts and the words feel as if they are tumbling out effortlessly. I was on track to finish up before my coaching calls were scheduled to begin and then the interruption came that changed up everything. Normally I would verbalize my frustration to my family. But I'm trying many new things lately, and I know that often in life if we want a different outcome it's going to require doing something different. So I thought, why not respond to this irritation with something new? Maybe even something a little crazy. I said nothing and instead chose to do a wild dance in my nightgown, through the house.

So after this wild nightgown dance, the dogs were all charged up as well so I took them out to the back yard to go potty. While we were out there had a chat with both of them about being glad that they are neither mice nor men. ("The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." ~ Steinbeck) The plans of women often go awry too. Dogs seem to do okay and come through relatively unscathed. No wonder people use the term "lucky dog." After the mice and men speech with the dogs out in the yard, (You thought that was a joke? No, I really do have conversations with them like this) I took them back inside, and made a cup of Newman's bold coffee, settling back in to finish the two articles. After the coaching calls were done and I could finally take a few moments "off" Dustin came in and talked to me.

Dustin: "So Mom, are you all done with your little insane dance or whatever that was this morning?"

Me: "Yep. Did you like that? I was trying new things in life. Shaking up the routine. Would you prefer for me to verbalize my frustrations, or dance them out?"

Dustin: "Um...neither one, quite honestly. And if you're going to dance like that again you might want to at least consider adding some music."

Me: "Oh this dance needs no music, it's so revolutionary."

Dustin: "Mom................ you're crazy." [Shakes head and walks away.]

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live." ~ Charles Bukowski

What makes you afraid?

2012-01-20T12:54:00.034-05:00

"You don't write because you want to say something; You write because you have something to say."
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

So, you have something to say.

Are you saying it?

If not, why?

What makes you afraid about saying it? Identifying what makes you afraid is really important. When you identify your fears you can deal with them, and move on with the call to share what God has placed in your heart.

Sometimes fears are realistic, other times not. Whether or not, God never intended fear to stop us because fear is not of Him.

Just because fear is not of Him doesn't mean that some things we feared may never happen as we fulfill the call. Sometimes we will face giants and mountains but God never intended a giant or a mountain to stop us. That's why He gives us the keys of the Kingdom to move mountains and defeat giants.

I have learned that God's grace covers me even when fears about facing a giant or a mountain come true. Even when I face these things it's much better to walk through that which I previously feared with His grace covering me, than live with the regret of knowing I didn't fulfill my purpose.

I will say it. And I will not fear. The Lord is with me.

When they try to suppress you

2012-01-19T08:05:00.001-05:00

Years ago when I was first starting out in the ministry an older minister took me aside and sternly said these exact words:

"Deanna, if you're ever going to be successful in the ministry you're going to have to learn to suppress yourself."

I knew what the word suppress meant but just to get a fuller picture I went home and looked it up in the dictionary.

Sup·press

[suh-pres]

verb (used with object)

to put an end to the activities of (a person, body of persons, etc.): to suppress the Communist party.

to do away with by or as by authority; abolish; stop (a practice, custom, etc.).

to keep in or repress (a feeling, smile, groan, etc.).

to withhold from disclosure or publication (truth, evidence, a book, names, etc.).

to stop or arrest (a flow)

After this comment was made I quickly decided to suppress anything that person ever said to me again by stopping it at my ears and never letting it get into my spirit.

God never saved anyone to suppress them.

Why it's good to speak up, even if it gets you killed

2012-01-18T10:00:00.002-05:00

When you take a risk and share your heart you run just that, a risk.

Sometimes when you share your heart you lose everything.

Who knows but that such an unsettling event might be the catalyst that moves us to make the mark we are called to make on the world?

Yesterday a friend in ministry said to me, "Deanna, you are a voice, not an echo." That put some things in perspective for me.

I'm really excited right now about a few things I've written that are getting ready to be published that for me are revolutionary. One is an article that I was requested to write and it's very edgy. It's pushing the limits for sure. Perhaps even disconcerting, but a message that is desperately needed. I can hardly wait to see it in print but more than that I can hardly wait to see what changes it may bring about in some people's lives. The other is the current book I'm working on. With every day I become more impassioned about the message. Yesterday I shared with a friend that I've never heard anyone say what I'm about to say. Now, that can be dangerous! Usually when I hear someone say they are getting ready to preach or write something nobody else has ever heard I'm thinking heresy or kookiness. Never fear. What I have to say is neither heretical nor kooky, but it is courageous. It's a timeless message with a new creative and courageous face.

Sharing your heart can bring huge repercussions.I can even get you killed but the thing is, your voice will ever be immortalized for everyone to hear if that happens. If you doubt that just think of Martin Luther King or John F. Kennedy.

No one will ever truly silence a voice unless they give up or give in. You may lose your paycheck, your car, your house, your job, your friends, your family or even...your life. Your blood will cry out from the ground.

The only one who can really silence a voice is the one who speaks. God will never silence what He has requested in the first place.

An inside look at WHY many pastors DON'T share their heart...

2012-01-17T11:58:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I posted something my friend Gary Boggess from church wrote about the reasons he's glad he's not a pastor. If you didn't read that post it's necessary to read that one to understand this one so if you missed it you might want to go there.

A lot of people responded on facebook to that post, in fact right now it's up to 28 comments on two facebook pages although no one commented here on the actual blog site. Other pastor-friends and their wives wrote to me privately to give their thoughts since they felt they could not safely post their thoughts publicly.

All church people who posted comments were of the belief that pastors should be free to speak their mind like anyone else. Several of our Celebration Church members shared their appreciation for how I do speak boldly on certain issues and they encouraged me to never hold back. I appreciate that.

I want to follow up today and to try to bring greater understanding as to why many pastors do hold back. My husband, for example, rarely "shares his heart." You see, it's not as simple as, "just share what's on your heart and let the chips fall where they may." Chips can hurt. They can hurt A LOT.

Let me preface this by saying some will think this is over the top. Think again. Sadly, I know people personally that all of these things apply to. Some of them apply to me. I could give names and locations, but would never betray a sacred trust of a friend and colleague. (All names below have been changed.)

God fearing men and women will not hold back in preaching on the power of the cross or salvation, or the core doctrines of scripture. But many stay silent on most everything else. Let's peel back the curtain and find out just a few reasons why. If some pastors or their wives could talk without repercussions, they would tell you this:

I shared my heart...and five families have left the church.

I shared my heart...and now I can't make my mortgage payment.

I shared my heart...we are now losing our health insurance. My wife has breast cancer. We don't know how we're going to pay for her treatment.

I shared my heart...and now I've been betrayed.

I shared my heart. The Bricker family is very upset about it. Jim Bricker talked to me last night and told me his wife is upset and doesn't want to come to our church anymore after I shared what I just did. I can work through this myself but it was hard to hear my 10 year old cry herself to sleep last night.You see, Ashley Bricker is her best friend and last night at church she told my daughter they were leaving and they wouldn't be able to play together anymore.

I shared my heart. This morning when I woke up I opened my e-mail I received the most hateful letter. Most people think this person who is a long time member of our church is so godly. They would be shocked to read this letter, I've been verbally cut to shreds. I won't share it with anyone but my wife, because I play fair even when our people don't. Sometimes I don't even share those letters with my spouse. She takes it harder than I do and sometimes it's easier for me to shield her from things that I can protect her from.

I shared my heart. Today when I got to the office the secretary let me know the district superintendent was on the phone for me. It was the first call of the day. He called to let me know somebody had contacted the district office about me sharing my heart. He was compassionate and didn't agree with my accuser. He prayed with me about the issue, but it still hurts that it ever happened.

I shared my heart. The board meeting didn't go so well the other night. This week I've been having terrible chest pains.

I shared my heart. We're losing our house.

I shared my heart. Some people have de-friended me on facebook but they are posting about me in an unkind way on the pages of many members of our church. Some of this is not overt where other members of the church would pick up on it...status updates like, "We miss you but we sure do loooooove our new church and our new pastor! God is sooooo good. Would love to see you soon...visit sometime? First A/G service is at 10:00."

I shared my heart. Unfortunately it had to do with a leader who is one of the kids' Sunday School teachers. Now in class my son is singled out unfairly in every class. The other Sunday when we came home he was crying and said, "Dad, I just don't want to go to church anymore." He's beginning to associate church with pain and that hurts my soul...

I shared my heart. I have no idea how we're going to buy groceries this week.

I shared my heart. The sanctuary looks so empty now.

I shared my heart. At least my wife and my dog are still on speaking terms with me.

I shared my heart. This past week I had my second heart attack. The doctor says I really need to consider a career change to something that isn't so stressful.

I shared my heart. Some people in the church said I need to be more transparent, open up and tell what's really on my mind. Now those same people are circulating a petition about me.

I shared my heart...and was asked to leave. I have no idea where we're going to go.

I shared my heart. I told the congregation some of my thoughts about the political climate we are currently in, briefly mentioned the election and preached boldly about making Godly choices based upon Christian values. The church just lost our 501c3 status.

"I am soooo glad I'm not a pastor..."

2012-01-16T18:18:00.001-05:00

My friend Gary Boggess from church sent me a private e-mail the other day and among other things had this (below) to say.

As a believer, I am soooo glad I am NOT a pastor. I can speak my mind... mention something I heard about, quote from anything, copy and paste unpopular Bible scriptures as I feel led to. I can disregard being politically correct and speak directly to-the-point whether it brings laughter or serves as a needed suggestion or painful reminder. I can risk being right or wrong in order to speak my honest opinion. I can be blunt if needed, or rebuke whatever I feel needs rebuking without being worried that I'm stepping on a parishioner's (a giver's) toes. I can raise a flag, sound an alarm and generally do anything God puts on my heart to do without having to apologize, hide, duck or sanitize it to the degree my inteneded contribution is rendered so vague, that I have to pray that I successfully make a point at all. THANK GOD I am not a pastor in America today!!!"

When he said this to me I thought, "that's something people need to hear." So I asked him, "Gary, can I publicly share that on my blog?" He said, "sure!"

I think this is a very interesting comment.

Feedback?

A day with a special touch...

2012-01-15T22:33:00.001-05:00

Today was such a blessed day. The presence of God was strong as usual at Celebration and we also had special guests with us today ~ missionaries Joe and Ann Trementozzi, and their daughter Beth Ann of Special Touch Ministry. The Trementozzi's are US Missionaries to people with disabilities and their families. they create awareness in the church at large to the need of reaching this population with compassion and giving to them an adequate witness of the gospel of Jesus.

The people really responded to their ministry with quite a number of folks making a connection to get involved in their Special Touch Getaway. We're real excited about our people being a part of this.

I had the privilege of taking Joe and Ann to lunch. Their daughter had plans with some other friends who had come along, and as for our family it was just me. Dustin and Savanna had fine arts rehearsal and Larry and Jordan were blessed with tickets to the Penguins hockey game today.

I took our guests to lunch at one of my favorite spots, The Red Elephant. They absolutely loved it. The manager seems to be super impressed with how many first time guests I've brought to Red Elephant. He came out and talked to us for a while. We're cooking up something special for the Red Elephant and Celebration Church. (More details to come later!)

To create new, do new

2012-01-14T13:17:00.000-05:00

I asked myself this question this morning when I saw this on a friend's facebook page.

And I immediately shifted gears, put everything else aside and pursued the greatest dream of my heart.

How does it feel? Wonderful.

This post by Seth really affected me this week too.

I acted upon my dreams this morning and moved forward in creating a different outcome. What can you change for a different outcome?

Some people will never understand this...

2012-01-13T09:00:00.002-05:00

And that's okay. Just let us be as we lavish love upon the fur-kids of the world.

It doesn't mean we don't care about people. We do care. In fact most of the people I know who are great pet lovers are also the greatest philanthropists.

If you're not a dog lover, you might not understand the overwhelming intensity that many of us felt about Tank's reunion this past week. You might think we've lost our marbles. That's okay, we think you've lost your heart. ;)

Before I go on with this post, let me say that we were delighted that CBS 10 posted the video and article about Tank and his Celebration Church reunion yesterday. Click here to watch it. (But then come back!)

If you haven't realized it, there is a revolution in America about dogs.

Dogs have always been loved and known as the most loyal companions ~ "man's best friend". But things have gone way beyond this. Dogs aren't just dogs or friends anymore. They are family members. Wake up and smell the dog treats if you haven't already!

There are approximately 78.2 million owned dogs in America. The majority of dog owners have more than one dog. Most dogs today don't have names like the ones people named their dogs years ago -- things like Spot or Fido. The majority of dogs today have "people names" that sound more like a kindergarten roster. For a list of the most popular ones in 2011, go here. You'll find the list filled with names like Bailey, Bella, and Sophie. Interestingly, Max is #2 on the list. People tend to name their dogs today as if they were naming another child.

I have had a few friends think I was a few fries short of a happy meal when it comes to how I feel about Max & Maddie. Where do I even begin? I don't like being away from them. Even on vacation! Until we have the appropriate "babysitter" selected, I'm concerned. By the last day of vacation I feel like if I have to go one more day without seeing them I just might pop!

I think about them all the time. I have countless photo and video of them on my iPhone that I look at when I'm out of town traveling and have been known to show them to anyone from hotel clerks to servers at restaurants. I Skyped with the dogs when I was on my last Africa missions trip. Coming home to my "babies" is the highlight of my day and snuggling up even better.

Max and Maddie affect my health in a positive way. There are times I can literally feel my blood pressure come down when I am interacting with them. An article in the Washington Times confirms the powerful physical affects of pet ownership: "Studies show that pet owners have improved cardiovascular health and immunity to diseases. If a majority of U.S. households had a pet, America could save $790 million and $1.5 billion in health care costs, according to a study by the National Institutes of Health."

I'm not alone in my thoughts. I'm just one of millions who believe this way. Read this insightful article from TIME to get an idea of how much times have changed. If you really want to go a level further, read this.

Just yesterday my boss called me for the sole reason of giving me a praise report about her cat, Calypso! This is not odd to either one of us or to many other people who also pray for their pet's health concerns.

Last year our church did a prayer outreach in the community where we went to many houses in in the neighborhoods surrounding the church and prayed for people in their homes. When we came back to the church to compare notes we asked what our teams noticed most. One of the things that came up with every single team was that almost every home we visited had a dog and most had more than one. Even if the people weren't home when we knocked on the door, we could hear the dogs barking.

People who have pets as a real part of their family realize why it was so important for us to see Tank safely home.

God cares about our pets.

Lives have been changed by Tank being reunited with his family. I'm so blessed to have been a part of it.

I thank God every single day for my fur-kids. I am so blessed to be a bulldog Mom.

And yet another lesson from Tank's miracle

2012-01-12T12:34:00.002-05:00

Barbara Lynn let us know that she took Tank to the vet yesterday and he received a clean bill of health! Praise the Lord.

What does this show? The mercy and grace of God.

A dog, out in the wild, fending for himself for almost a year...

Not only does he survive, but he comes out of the journey with no broken bones, no worms, no diseases.

Like the 3 Hebrew young men, he has come through the fire, not even smelling like smoke!!! Somebody give a shout NOW!

Our God is so good.

I think of a lot of things that could have happened in my life, but didn't. It was only because of the grace and mercy of God that I'm standing today!

He's taken me through many dangers, toils and snares! Like Tank, he's taken me through the storms and the dark of night. If it had not been for the Lord on my side...

Listen to this, one of my favorite songs today and think about how good God has been to Tank, to you and me.

Your grace and mercy brought me through...
I'm living this moment because of You...
I want to thank You, and praise You too...
Your grace and mercy brought me through.

Lesson from Tank's miracle

2012-01-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last night Tank's reunion was shown on Fox News 13 and CBS 10 News. As soon as links go up online I will post them here and on my facebook page. I cried all over again last night watching the CBS interview. They shared that last month the family put Tank's Christmas stocking up, hoping that he'd return even though it had been 10 months.

The thought occurred to me that Barbara Lynn and her family may not even have realized how precious Tank was until they lost him for 10 months. A lot of things are that way in life. Like one of my mentors, June Coker says, "They don't miss the water til' the well runs dry."

Beth, the reporter from CBS, spoke to my husband off to the side last night and said, "Pastor, you have awesome people here!" Larry told her that we know just how blessed we are and are so thankful.

Once again I am reminded of just how amazing the people who surround us are. I can't even describe the feeling that I had when Donna pulled up in her car with Tank. As they rounded the corner into the parking lot, Tank had his paws on the dashboard, wide eyed and expectant, tail wagging as the people clapped and cheered his arrival. Mike opened the car door and transferred the leash from Donna to Barbara Lynn while Georgia, one of our celebrators, put a little kerchief on Tank that she had specially made for him that has a "map" on it. (So he never gets lost again.) It was just precious.

Most everyone including Beth from CBS stayed until it got dark outside. At one point the cameras were already put away in vehicle but Beth said, "we need to get the cameras out again!" because the outpouring of love just continued. Out they came and she began taping again.

Tank got so many hugs, kisses and even notes of love from the children, I lost count. Barbara Lynn got countless invitations to church. Beth gave me her card and said, "whenever there's anything else happening at this church, please give me a call." Dinah, one of our Celebrators said, "Well Beth, we'd be calling you all the time because this is a church of constant miracles!"

I recently heard it said that one must never take your blessings for granted or what you are granted gets taken.

Do you recognize the blessings that you are surrounded with?

Tank's miracle

2012-01-10T20:29:00.005-05:00

Unforgettable! That's what this day is!

Amazing! That's what my God is!

I love days like this! I don't know how today could have been better. Love is in the air!

I woke up today knowing that tonight was going to be spent celebrating the spectacular reunion of a dog with his owners. I was so excited!

Sunday as we were singing "Our God Saves" and "My Savior Lives" a dog was outside the main sanctuary doors running back and forth all excited. For all of his energy, he was hungry and had a few bumps and bruises. Our bass player, Mike Kenney, took him home, bathed and fed him. Then he and his mother Donna took him to the vet to get him checked. He was micro-chipped and through this they found his owner.

They learned the dog's name: Tank. Amazingly, Tank survived for almost a year on his own. It's nothing short of a miracle. His owner Barbara Lynn, is a nurse who works with cancer patients. She told us that Tank is primarily an indoor dog who has never had to fend for a thing for himself before he got lost! The fact that he has survived lots of difficult terrain over the past year -- high traffic in some areas, thick brush in others, even alligators -- is nothing short of a MIRACLE!!! The bible says that God cares for the birds of the air, and goes on to say -- how much more does He care for us? I know He also cares about a dog named Tank.

Tank got lost last March and has been roaming since. His house is 25 miles from the church. Barbara and her family live out on a farm in Zephyrhills, FL. They hoped one day he would be found but as time has gone on, it was hard to not assume the worst. In stepped God, and Mike and Donna Kenney.

After Donna and Barbara Lynn spoke on the phone, Barbara Lynn took off work for the day and got Tank's kennel out of storage and washed up his favorite blankets in preparation for his homecoming. She called her grown children to tell them the news and they were thrilled. A reunion was arranged for 5 pm tonight at the church. We have no idea how but Fox News 13 found out and asked to come. Then so did CBS 10! They both captured the reunion and did lots of interviewing and stayed to celebrate with us as Tank and Barbara Lynn got reacquainted. She said, "As soon as I saw the sign, 'Welcome Home Tank', I knew I was where I was supposed to be."

The core of Celebration Church showed up to celebrate this incredible happy ending. What a blessing!

The story airs tonight on Fox13 at 10:00 PM and then on CBS 10 at 11:00 PM. If for some reason they don't get it edited by then they said to check the 6:00 AM news. Needless to say our DVR's are set! If there is a link to post online, I will.

My day was further blessed by the fact that we got to have lunch with our dear friends, Trinity & Misty Mackley, who are our former children's pastors. They are more like family than friends. It is always a blessing to spend time with them.

Like I said, how much more perfect could this day have been?

It was unforgettable and filled with so many blessings from God. I feel the love, everywhere! I'm one blessed girl, just to be a part of all of this. Thank you, Jesus for your blessings on me.

*All photos courtesy of Rachael Rice

The importance of self motivation and inspiration

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

What do dirty underwear and inspiration have in common?

This weekend we worked on re-doing our laundry room. It's not really a room. It's more like a tiny passageway between the house and the garage where the appliances sit. But I was intent on changing it. Before yesterday it was a few feet of space big enough to hold a washer, dryer and ironing board and had eggshell colored walls that had plenty of smudges on them.

The walls and baseboards are freshly painted, in brand new colors. I don't know what my laundry walls are going to say, but it will be something that moves me and my family toward the new season that God has for us.

I am firmly against painting it and putting up a little sign from a craft store or Cracker Barrel that says something like "Soap 5 Cents" or "The maid is off today...do your own laundry." No offense to all those of you who have something like that in your laundry room but it doesn't speak anything to me. Frivolity is not my strong suit.

I crave the motivational.

I know it's a place to take dirty underwear. And socks. And various other dirty things. But just because we wash clothes there does it have to be meaningless?

I want to be inspired even when I do the many loads of laundry that I do each week.

The great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said, "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

I want every space in my surroundings to speak something to me when I'm in it. In our master bathroom we have wood carved cut out words that sit high up on the plant shelves. I chose them because they speak something to me as soak there every day as I start my day or end it.

One day Savanna was taking a bath in there and called out to me:

Mom, why is there a sign in here telling me to "escape"?

It's okay dear, it's just encouraging you to let your mind escape from the cares of the day. I don't want you to run away or anything.

Thanks for clearing that up, Mom...

Getting a Pinterest account really motivated me to start doing more projects at home. I haven't seen anything like the project I'm working on now as far as a motivational laundry room but all of the creative genius on Pinterest just got my mind flowing in this direction. It's one of the best if not the best "idea" site I've ever seen.

Most if not all of the laundry rooms I've seen in Pinterest are structured for optimal function and organization and I do understand that, but motivation and inspiration are really important to me too.

Life is a precious gift, but it's also really hard at times. I'm convinced that in order to move forward, human beings have to motivate themselves daily. It's not just a matter of having others motivate you for you will never have enough of that to thrive. No one will ever give you enough of what you truly need. No one but God, that is.

The Bible tells us in II Samuel 30:6 that "...David encouraged himself in the LORD his God."

There are times you have to lay hands on your own head.
Times you have to anoint yourself.
Times you have to pray through on your own.
Times you have to provide your own motivation.

I find that even when others encourage me it always helps to have the extra doses of such from myself. Nobody ever has too much of this.

Even as we wash our dirty clothes, we will be inspired.

You'll love this

2012-01-08T17:33:00.000-05:00

Last week a pw friend recommended this song to me. It really hit the spot. Serves as a great reminder that He is the I AM. Our everything.

I liked it so much I downloaded the entire album from this artist, Laurell Hubick. I've been listening to all the songs while I'm in prayer and meditation on the Word.

Just thought I'd pass it along as it's been such a blessing to me.

What I see when I wake up

2012-01-07T15:38:00.000-05:00

I open my eyes to these kind eyes looking at me every morning. I love them so much that one morning when we were having this stare fest I just picked up my phone and took a picture up close to preserve the moment before it got away. Sometimes when I'm away at a hotel because I'm speaking or something I'll open my phone and look at these pictures just so I can have a feel of home. I also have videos. Yes, my family thinks I'm crazy. And what of it?

They say the eyes are a window to the soul. Matthew 6:22 says, "...your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body."

Max's kind eyes and spirit always speak to me that no matter what's going on, it's going to be alright.

Let go and let God

2012-01-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

I was pondering what this means the other day when people say this..."let go and let God." What does that really mean? God spoke to me and said, "it means let go and leave it to me to decide the answer to your prayers."

We pray with the end in mind every time. Knowing what we want to see happen we just keep desperately praying over and over again that God will answer our prayer the way WE want it. If it's something that is already in God's word that we know He wants (salvation, healing, etc.) then of course it's only appropriate to do that. Some things we don't even have to pray about - they are clearly spelled out already for us in God's Word. But on the other things that aren't so clear, we tell God what we want and how we want it.

Faith is leaving the unknown up to God and trusting Him to make the right decision on our behalf. It's letting go and letting Him decide.

God always answers prayer. Always! He tells us, "yes", "no" or "not now." Sometimes we accuse him of not answering. But He always does. It's just not what we want to hear.

Do we really trust Him with the outcome?

Of art and miracles

2012-01-05T09:00:00.006-05:00

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words.

This is the level of freedom I need to create what's in my heart.

How much will you sacrifice to do your art?

2012-01-04T10:00:00.000-05:00

Where is your creative space to work on your art?

I have logistical space. My issue is space of time.

Others have all the time in the world but no physical space or resources to work on their art. Either way moving forward requires change to create.

Do you need physical space? Rearrange a room at home. Give up something else in order to prioritize your art. A friend of mine gave up a closet and made it an office. She had to figure out somewhere else to put her clothes but she had a place to work on her art.

Do you need space of time to do your art? Do the painful work of examining your agenda. I understand this dilemma. Currently I'm working several jobs, one of which was supposed to be something I was covering temporarily but has turned out to last longer than I would have ever imagined. We're coming up on several years now, not months. If you had told me this back then I'd have either told you that you were crazy, ran away, or gone to my doctor to get Xanax. There are times I thought this would be the death of me.

I was really hoping that things regarding this particular issue would be different going into 2012. I thought everyone else held the keys to change in this area and felt powerless. But I have come to realize, change is always possible because I can change. At any moment I can change everything because I can change myself.

I can choose to make room for my art by making hard choices.
Because my art is important.

I have learned a big lesson the past week about just how important the current project I'm working on is. It will literally save people's lives. The urgency I feel is tremendous.

I can't afford to wait for the world to change. I must change.

I will not deprive the world of this art by refusing to make changes that will give me the space to create it.

Are you normal?

2012-01-03T12:32:00.001-05:00

When it comes to our art, we have a choice when we wake up each day.

Create vanilla or create a new flavor.

Create based on what we've seen before, or create outside the lines.

Create within the parameters of normal or risk being called abnormal.

Create what soothes people or risk creating what might make them uncomfortable.

Create what the establishment expects you to keep churning out or create what just might change the world.

What do you HAVE to do?

2012-01-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

I remember many years ago when I was just coming into adulthood lamenting about some things I had to do, somebody quipped to me, "Deanna, all you HAVE to do is live, die and pay taxes."

I know it might seem odd, but I'm a very analytical person who really started thinking about that statement. What does a person have to do, really have to do, in life?

I don't have the full answer to this question yet but one thing I do know for sure, we all do some things we don't have to do. I believe we still do them for a myriad of reasons and one is because we are afraid of the new.

New represents change. And change is something that scares many of us.

The interesting thing about change is that it has the possibility to make a way for us where there seemed to be no way. Change can bring healing, wholeness, a new lease on life.

But it often requires a very deep examination of what we have been doing versus what we might want to think about doing.

In my experience this usually concerns something really unconventional that nobody else around us is doing. We don't do it because we assume if nobody else is doing it there's a really good reason for it.

Not always.

New

2012-01-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

It's a choice simply waiting to be made.

"Therefore, if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold the fresh and new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP

Lesson learned in 2011

2011-12-31T09:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday my good friend Pastor Lisa Alexander posted her lessons learned in 2011. I get a lot of great ideas from her, and this was one so here goes.

I learned a plethora of lessons in the past year but I'm only going to share one today.

Don't make a spiritual excuse for what's not working.

I get so sick of excuses in other people but I was making this one myself!! So often we say, "if just one person was touched, it was worth it." We say that whenever something's bringing a low amount of fruit in but we don't know what else to do. While the, "if just one person is changed/touched/grows" theory is true in some cases, in other situations it's just an excuse to put off the necessary. What is necessary? Often it's making a wise change.

In the business world nobody would keep doing the same thing over and over again year after year without some serious return on investment. So why do we do it in Christianity or the church?

Because people tell you constantly that you may "never see results this side of heaven."
Sometimes we keep on because we don't know what else to do.
We think it's important to just stay busy and do something versus doing nothing.
Making a change is painful for some - it will always affect least one or two people.
We are afraid we will upset people.
We are creatures of habit.
We don't like change.

Many times we are poor stewards of time, or of the gifts God has given us. We believe if we're just doing something good versus bad, we're okay. God has more available than just good/bad. There's wise in the mix there somewhere. We all have something to plant, but we have to put it in good soil.

This has been a big lesson for me in 2011. It's important to hear the voice of the Lord and then act. With His leading and my husband's full agreement and blessing I'm making some changes.

2012 Goals...here's what I'm reaching for

2011-12-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here you have it, my list of personal goals for 2012. Just posting this for anyone who might be curious or need an idea to springboard off of to establish your own goals. If this ** is next to a goal, it means I'm already working toward it at the present time and have a head start.

Spiritual Goals

Participate in First Forty with Celebration Church.

Organize my weekly personal prayer list

Keep a prayer journal.

Make a miracles list for the year.

Lead twice the amount of people to the Lord outside the church this year as I did last year. (People I do not meet at the church, or through the church but totally on my own.) **

Write down each thing the Lord gives me the moment it comes. (No waiting til’ later – I lose some of my best thoughts.) **

Physical Goals

Get blood pressure down to normal on a daily basis.

Bring my weight 10 pounds below where my doctor says it needs to be at minimum. (The minimum she asked for is just a starting point -- she made it clear it’s just the minimum that needs to happen, that’s why I want to exceed her request.)

Exercise daily with the exception of Sunday. **

Actually use the free weights that have been sitting on my bedroom floor for the past 5 years.

Drink two 16 oz. bottles of water a day.

Get the food plan in place and groceries in the house by Sunday night every week.

Keep a very transparent daily blog of my wellness journey, to be password protected and read by approved subscribers only. **

Home & Family Goals

Eat dinner together when everybody’s home.

Have a conversation with my husband each and every day that doesn’t revolve around work.

Let “Good Morning” be the first thing I say to my husband each day. (This is a personal endeavor we’re both making. We’ve slidden into a bad habit of letting the first thing we say be about our schedule or something like that.) **

Go on a date once a week. **

Take my daughter on a trip by ourselves. (Girls only trip)

Take two short overnight trips with my husband, six months apart. **

Record a song with all of my kids

Watch Schindler’s List with my kids

Clean one room a night at the house, so it’s not so overwhelming on my day off.

Keep up with doing one load of laundry a day.

Be even more intentional about my day off. Automatically schedule another sacred day if something mandatory comes up where I have to work AT ALL on a Friday. **

Plant a crepe myrtle tree in my yard, preferably more than one.

NextJob Work Goals

Answer every email at the same time that I open it. **

Stop working by 7 pm.

Increase my pre-engagement and engagement rates significantly. **

Have a near perfect record on quality surveys. ** (My boss tells me nobody's perfect.)

Think of one powerful question to ask my boss each week, beyond the general things we have to fit into our weekly meeting.

Get promoted from Senior Coach to Mentor Coach **

Pastoral/Ministry Goals

Answer e-mail at the same time that I open it unless it’s something that requires prayer and consideration. Touch e-mail once unless it’s one of these “seek the Lord” type of things. **

Write 5 handwritten notes a week and send them through U.S. Mail.

Keep up with the birthdays on facebook and not miss anyone. **

Make a list of everything that has given minimal or no ROI and stop doing them.

Identify 12 people who have shown the most potential to change, and pour into them.

Develop/train 25% more workers than we currently have in place.

Reach out to five other pastors or pastors’ wives each week who have not contacted me that week and see how they are doing. **

Constantly identify what I have the personal power to change. Then, make the hard decisions and follow through. No procrastination.

Get together with my closest pastor/pw friends at least every other month and stop making excuses and settling for emails and phone calls.

Move beyond the mandatory things on my initiative list each week to at least one extra goal a week.

Writing/Influence Goals

Give my book proposal one hour of each day until I get a contract on it.

Work on my Twitter – post at least 3 posts a day that are not automatic postings from my blog.

Update my Linked In at least once a week.

Comment on 5 of my favorite blogs a day instead of just read and move on. Be the kind of reader I want for my own blog, on the blogs I frequent.

Send at least one query a week for something unrelated to my proposal.

Do an overhaul on my weekly e-zine

Attend a writer’s conference.

Reading Goals

Read 3 Fiction books this year. **

Read 40 non-fiction books **

Read 3 blogs specifically focused on the subject of writing each day.

Fun Goals

Plan and do a flash mob in Tampa

Go to the beach at once on my day off

Go to the opening night of the Hunger Games

Go Kayaking with my friend that I’ve been planning to do that with for two years now.

Finally go to Webster's Flea Market with my friend like I've promised her I'd do for almost the past...um...decade.

Go camping

Sleep at least one more hour a night than I do now. (Yes, sleep IS fun.)

How do you set goals for the year?

2011-12-29T10:00:00.000-05:00

Irene Porto, Founder and President at Career Integrity Recruitment and Coaching published the following on her Facebook status yesterday:

How to set goals for 2012~
Step 1: Take stock of what went well and what didn't go well in 2011.
What successes did you have in 2011? Why do you think you succeeded?
What didn't you accomplish in 2011? Honesty will get you closer to putting these goals back on the list for 2012. Don't give up, recommit. Why do you think you fell short? What did you learn from the experience and how can you do better in 2012?

I'm sure she'll share more as the week unfolds, but this first post gave me a lot to think about. Actually I was already considering what my goals for the year are going to be. There are years I have dispensed with "New Year's Resolutions" altogether, believing they are mainly unrealistic goals people aspire to that never quite get off the ground. They sort of limp year to year with the same old goals that never get anywhere. Being addicted to progress and checking things off of a list, having a list of resolutions like that doesn't appeal to me.

I've decided that this year I'm making a list of realistic yet faith filled endeavors. I believe both are possible. Some I've already started working on. Others will be totally new.

The year 2012 will be an intense year of focus for me. The Lord has spoken to me that it's time to make a "stop doing" list of things within my control - things I actually have the power to change -- to focus on some things that will make a greater difference. I recently realized I've been a good steward with many things, and with others, a poor one. Sometimes I have been a terrible steward of myself. It's time to change that. At the top of my list is: steward Deanna properly.

I'm thinking about sharing my goals here on the blog. Still undecided because that's a pretty transparent thing to do, but who knows -- you may see that list here tomorrow.

Do you make New Year's resolutions or goals for the coming year? Why or why not?

How to communicate for the best result possible: Lessons from Kathryn

2011-12-28T15:05:00.006-05:00

This is another one post where I share with you another great insight I learned from Kathryn Kemp, my boss and one of my mentors. We are up to 21 posts now of things I've learned from her although it's actually been a lot more than that.

Kathryn loves text messaging and does it often, even for business purposes. Years ago when we were first starting to work together she texted me about something important she wanted to ask me about for work - something above and beyond my normal course of duties. I am often blessed to do special projects for work, and never lose sight of the honor it is to be asked and entrusted.

When we got on the phone to confer about things she quickly apologized for texting me and said she was reminded never to do it again when it is something important she wants to ask me about. I never complained about her texting me but she knew from previous personal conversations we've had about our lives in general that it's my least preferable form of communication and sometimes downright gets on my nerves.

I told her that being that she's my boss and had something important to ask me, I have no problem with the fact that she texted me. She replied once again that she would not be doing that again, as she wanted to communicate with me in the style I'm most comfortable with whenever we are discussing something important. She has never again texted me about something important, for the last three years. Most times she e-mails me as she knows it's my preferred method and even when she's going to call she e-mails first to see what the best time to call would be.

There's pretty much almost nothing I wouldn't do for my boss. If it's within my power, I'll do it. If it's not, I'll pray that God would help me do it anyway.

On the flip side, I know that Kathryn LOVES texting so I don't hesitate to send her one if I need something important. I know she powers down her computer on certain days off and doesn't turn it back on nor does she want to be asked to. (She would keep her boundaries and not turn it back on, which I respect.) She prefers a text. So I do that. I know that if I want a good relationship with my boss, this is important.

There are others who report to Kathryn who prefer a text, or a call. She knows who prefers what and acts accordingly to bring the best work out of that person.

It pays for you to know the people's preferences who work with and for you, and those in your larger network that you rely on. Particularly if you want or need something from people, results tend to be more favorable if you ask in the manner that they best receive information.

And since I'm on this subject - for those who do text me, it would be good for you to know that I tend to check my text messages twice a day - in the morning when I wake up and at night before bed. I know that it's important that I check them daily, and I do. However, I enjoy texting about as much as flossing. Which might explain why you can go a whole day before getting a reply.

Do you wonder about pain?

2011-12-27T12:56:00.000-05:00

People often try to comfort you by saying, "don't worry, it will all work out for the best."

I know that. But I also know that getting to the best is sometimes hell.

CS Lewis said, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”

Someone once asked me why God doesn't reveal more -- why we have to live without knowing so many things and learn so many things through hindsight. I told them I truly believe God doesn't reveal it because if He did we couldn't handle it. What if you saw your ultimate outcome and it was a wonderful, glorious thing but you took a wild and sometimes treacherous rollercoaster ride to get there? Well, for the believer it's exactly what happens to all of us! Heaven is going to be absolutely grand. But you have to die to get there.

Accomplishing important things brings greater depth and meaning to our lives but the road to get there is never easy. There will be hardships along the way, but once you reach the moment you've been waiting for, it's worth it. Revel in it.

My goal is to revel as long as I can because the time between reveling and journeying again is short.

And, I try to not think too hard about how painful the best might be, because wondering about pain has never turned out to be an asset for me in the long run. What about you?

What does your favorite Christmas gift say about you?

2011-12-26T17:14:00.000-05:00

Time goes on in our lives and we progress from screaming with glee over opening an Easy Bake Oven Set, a Barbie, a toy gun or a video game, to other things. Decades beyond childhood, the Keurig and a Tempur-Pedic pillow are my two favorite Christmas gifts.

I got to thinking about what this says about me.

At this stage of my life I value comfort over play.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not but it's just reality at this moment. I read a blog post by Michael Hyatt this week that really challenged me to embrace discomfort. It's the last thing I wanted to hear. I've been in an uncomfortable place for quite some time trying desperately to grab on to any bit of comfort that I could find and still retain ministerial credentials. ;P ~~I'm only half kidding there.~~ I have hope for 2012. Even if just a little bit on some days, I still have hope and on the days it's low, a few friends give me some that they have to spare. Lucky for me, I have some friends who are quite literally hope dealers.

I'm digressing. Sorry.

What does your favorite Christmas gift that you received say about you?

Are we having service on Christmas day? DUH.

2011-12-25T07:00:00.001-05:00

A lot of churches are closed today.

How crazy!

Not us. We're anticipating celebrating the birthday of the King today!

I know some people want to go to church today but can't go to their own church where they are a member because the leadership of the church made a choice to close today. I feel sorry for those people and have encouraged them to go visit another church in their area that's open today.

It's interesting, that some Christians and even pastors fight the whole "happy holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" yet many of those same people stay home from church today or even made a decision to close. That's really where the rubber meets the road for me. How strong IS your faith? Just strong enough to complain about "Christmas" being misaligned by some store clerk telling you happy holidays? That's pretty weak. By the way, the word holiday derives from the term "holy day" which is exactly what we are celebrating -- a holy day. Christ-mass. A service, for Christ - a holy day.

I don't shy away from telling anybody Merry Christmas. I tell co-workers, job seekers, store clerks, and passers by. Whether they celebrate it or not, if they are not mature enough to have their big boy or girl panties on and hear it without a meltdown, it's probably time to get them a gift certificate for some therapy instead of a Starbucks card. This is Christmas time -- we've always celebrated Christmas in America and it doesn't seem to have affected anybody's sensitivities until recent years when all of a sudden it seemed to matter to some people who got loud about it. As Buddy said in Elf, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing nice and loud for all to hear. So just get louder than these super-sensitives. I keep saying Christmas tree no matter how many times I hear the words holiday tree. I keep saying Christmas Concert no matter how many times teachers call it a Winter Concert. This is Christmas time. If that bothers you, put a little mistletoe in your pipe and smoke it. ;P

Last Saturday someone called me and said, "I'll only take a moment of your time, I know you're probably busy getting ready for your Christmas program tomorrow."

"Nope," I said, "it's not tomorrow."

"Oh really? So it was last week?"

"Nope. Wrong again."

"So you're not having one?"

"Yes we are...on Christmas day."

"Okkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy," was their response. Then a moment of silence. They couldn't believe it. They were shocked. Yes, not only are we having church but today is our Christmas program! We're featuring special music by the kids choir, teen ensemble, adult choir, solos, duets, and a special message from my husband.

Are we open today at Celebration? You better believe it.

Merry Christmas everybody!

*Photos in this post from the Christmas Eve Communion at Celebration Church.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2011-12-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

Our Max ~ he's loving Christmas!

We love traditions at our home especially during the holidays. Tonight we have Christmas Eve Candlelight Communion at the church. It's one of our most special times of the year. Everyone loves it! Afterwards we go out for Chinese food. We've done that for 25 years now, since the very first year Larry and I were married. We started it because after all the preparation I do in cooking and cleaning for christmas, we've already got a full refrigerator, and I'm tired. The last thing I want to do is MORE cooking. So, we go for Christmas Eve and invite anyone who wants to join us to come. The past few years we've gone with at least 20-30 people. It's a lot of fun.

Today I'm putting the finishing touches on all the home festivities for tomorrow.

When we wake up we're going to have what the kids call "sweet rolls". They loooooooove these and we always have them on holidays. I make them with a butterscotch topping and they are served warm and gooey right out of the oven. After sweet rolls and coffee, tea, hot chocolate we'll head to church at Celebration. Then we'll come home and have Christmas dinner.

I developed our Christmas menu over the years. It has evolved as we had children and they requested their favorites. In our house we have a very specific menu that we have for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Eve. So, for tomorrow it is:

7-layer salad
Homemade yeast rolls
Ham with Cherry glaze (Larry's special recipe - it's amazing)
Hash Brown Potato Casserole
Sweet Potato Casserole
Broccoli with Cheese Sauce
Creamed Corn
Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream
Iced Tea, Coca Cola & Coffee

If you're interested in any of my recipes I will make them available to you in the comments. Just ask.

To make my yeast roll recipe, loved not only by my family but all my neighbors -- simply go to this video that I recorded and posted on YouTube.

Back to cooking and cleaning...hope you all are having a magnificent weekend so far.

What should your role be?

2011-12-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Many people ask me this who are new to leadership or ministry, or those who are headed to a new location and with it a change in responsibilities or opportunities.

My advice is always the same. I would encourage you to not seek a role. Just focus on making a difference. In doing so the role takes care of itself.

Have I ever cared about roles? Yes. It was a waste of time. Hindsight is 20/20.

Today I could care less about roles and quite frankly sometimes I'm sick of them. I'm terrible at role playing, but never tire of making a difference.

I believe it's the same for most people whether they know it or not. Roles tend to be prescribed and since God has made us all so uniquely, rare is the person who fits the prescription exactly.

Just something to think about.

Why I stopped responding to vague statuses entirely

2011-12-22T09:00:00.002-05:00

"That's it, I'm done!" was the vague Facebook status that caught my eye a few years ago. My heart immediately went out and I messaged the person who posted this and said, "what's up? How can I help?"

What followed were long private messages back and forth as I tried to help her. It didn't matter what I suggested, there was an excuse as to why it wouldn't work or wasn't true. If I said, "You're not alone." She would say, "Yes I am." If I said, "People care." She would say, "No, they don't." If I said, "God cares," she'd say, "I don't feel it." If I said, "Well, I care" she'd say, "You don't really count. You're different." If I said, "change is possible," she'd say, "nothing about this can ever change." You get the picture.

I soon discovered, she didn't really want my help, or anyone's help. She just wanted attention.

Let me cut right to the point. Vaguebooking is a game.

When you respond to what is a game, why would you believe it would suddenly cease to be a game just because you chose to respond? The vaguebooker may throw different plays in the game, but it's still a game.

Vague statuses are a cat and mouse game designed by the vaguebooker to take you through the maze of figuring out what's wrong with them. What appears to be a very complicated situation is actually very simple in most cases. Unfortunately for the vaguebooker the simple solution requires them to make a decision or take an action they just don't want to do or have put off doing for far too long.

Vaguebooking screams, "give me attention!" The issue is,most people who want attention just want attention, not change.

That is the reason I don't respond to vague statuses -- because I have yet to meet a vaguebooker who wants to change. I challenge you to find one! They are as rare as Jew at a pig roast.

I'm someone who helps a lot of people. I don't say that to brag, simply as a statement of fact in proving my point in this post. A lot of you who read this blog help a lot of people too. And if you're interested in maximizing your potential in helping even more people, I've got some words of wisdom for you today that could help you. Here are the facts:

People need your help. They desperately need your help.
You are an emotional life jacket to some people who are drowning.
There are millions of people in the world who need the support you have to offer.
You can't help them all, but you can help some.
No matter how talented you are or how great a time manager, your time is limited.
It's important to be a good steward of what God has entrusted you with.
Invest your time in people who want help and are interested in a solution, not just a discussion.

Everyone has problems. Vaguebookers have information on how to solve problems. Different people have encouraged or advised them throughout their lives and social media takes this to a whole new level. Now they have not only the people in close proximity to them, but their Aunt Carlotta from Long Island and their long lost friend from kindergarten have both jumped in on the act to give them a virtual pat on the back. But information without application brings no transformation.

In the past year I have had the privilege of leading three new friends to Christ, through Facebook. I have helped countless others through their journey of growth utilizing the same tool, and even stopped a few suicides. I've connected people with local pastors in their area, referred them to counseling centers in their town where they could get further help and personally taken on a some as virtual coaching clients. Prayer is very important to me and each week I pray for many people by finding out about their needs online. I use social media constantly throughout the day to stay in touch with the people of of our church. In all of this, I've come to a realize that no matter who it concerns, social media is a tool to be utilized in a focused manner to reach it's full potential. Therefore these are some of the personal boundaries that I've established that help me to fulfill my purpose:

1) Say no to drama.

Drama has no return on investment. It just distracts and sidetracks. So, as far as it depends on me, I want to steer clear of it whether it be family, church, Facebook, etc. The only drama I want is the kind I pay for! (Movies, plays, etc.) Avoid it - don't harmonize with it. You don't have to show up to every conversation you're invited to. Nor do you have to strike up one with everyone you pass by who appears to be in need but might just want to hear themselves talk.

2) Respond only to specific needs

Know the difference between attention seeking behavior and a true desire for help. Why did Jesus ask the man at the pool in John 5 if he wanted to get well? Because some people don't want to get well, they just want to talk about how miserable they are. Some people don't really want to get well because they would have nothing left to talk about. At first the man at the pool started giving Jesus a bunch of excuses, but what did He do? He cut right to the chase and said, "Pick up your mat and walk!" Just as Jesus got to the heart of the matter, so must we. We need to discern - are people seriously wanting help or are they just wanting a sounding board? If they want to have a sounding board, go buy them a digital voice recorder and be done with it.

3) After initial investment, continue to throw attention toward what changes, not what stays the same.

Once offering help, I invest myself in those who are picking up their mat and walking, not those who are still standing by the pool giving excuses.

Yesterday I gave examples of humorous comments I might make in response to a vague status. I don't do this unless it's a good friend I know is just being silly with their status updates. In such cases I'll enjoy bantering back and forth but for serious vaguebookers I avoid it entirely. I've found that even an off-beat response like that is precious attention the vaguebooker latches onto and typically views as an invite to send a L-O-N-G private message, spewing out everything they're unhappy about but have no intention to change.

And that, my friends, is why I avoid responses to vague statuses entirely.

What boundaries do you need to draw to be more effective in helping people?

My failed attempt at responding to vaguebooking

2011-12-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

So yesterday's post received a lot of feedback about people who try to use guilt and manipulation in their facebook status posts.

Concerning vaguebooking my friend Jennifer Tatum has a strategy she calls "counter-vague". When anyone posts a vague status she comments with something equally vague. For instance if they post, "Just not sure anymore..." she might post, "so much to think about..." in response. She gave me this counter-vague idea so I tried it out. I started posting equally vague comments just like that to people's vague statuses. One friend posted, "Weird!" so I countered by posting, "Unbelievably!" Another friend posted, "Just not sure anymore...." I countered by posting, "Come what may..." Most people responded with "what?" or just ignored me and kept up their vaguebooking.

Then I had an idea that when people posted manipulating or guilt-tripping vague statuses, I would use my unique brand of humor to counter it. Here are some examples:

Vaguebook tripper: "Really wish I could spend Christmas with certain people..."
Me: "Please don't call the personal escort service again. You know it ended badly the last time and it's almost time to get your ankle bracelet removed."

Vaguebook tripper: "Wishing..."
Me: "I'm sorry the push up from Victoria's Secret didn't bring the results hoped for. Kleenex works in a pinch but please don't reveal the source of this wisdom."

Vaguebook tripper: "So hurt."
Me: "I understand. Preparation H only does so much to help me too."

Vaguebook tripper: "Why? I just don't understand."
Me: "I know. A lot of people are confused about whether Lady Gaga is a man or a woman. Just give your confusion over to the Lord and be at peace."

Vaguebook tripper: "Why do some people thrive on hurting others?"
Me: "My husband asked me this just the other day when we got in an argument and I locked him in the closet. Thanks for the reminder, I need to go check on him..."

Vaguebook tripper: "What's a family for anyway?"
Me: "It makes for great tax breaks. At least that's why I kept having kids...others have their own reasons I'm sure."

Vaguebook tripper: "Please somebody just wake me up when Christmas is over..."
Me: "Will the guy you've been sleeping with not be available that day to wake you up? I'll try to remember to set a reminder on my phone to call you and wake you up."

Vaguebook tripper: "Might just be done with it all..."
Me: "I know. I left MySpace a long time ago too. So lame."

Vaguebook tripper: "Can't handle this, I'm checking out..."
Me: "Can I have first dibs on your shoe collection?"

Vaguebook tripper: "Heaven can't wait any longer."
Me: "Thanks for the idea...this is going to make for a great Southern Gospel song lyric..."

This tactic didn't go over too well. :)

So seriously...what DID happen when I have responded to people's vague statuses in a specific, straight-to-the-point way in an effort to understand? I'll tell you tomorrow once you've stopped cry-laughing.

What to do about facebook status guilt trips

2011-12-20T09:00:00.003-05:00

A man once said, "My mother in law should be a travel agent because she specializes in guilt trips."

The truth about guilt trips is, you don't have to take them! You can say no. I realize it's easier said than done and today I'm going to give you a few tools to actually say no.

What is a guilt trip? It's a manipulative tool some people use to try to influence the actions of others.

Now that inventions like facebook have come on the scene it's unfortunately even easier to try to guilt trip someone. How? Through status updates, particularly through vaguebooking.

Vaguebooking is an intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts someone else to ask what's going on. Or, it is a manipulative cry for help.

This can happen at any time of the year but holidays are times when it seems these things can really flare up. Let's say you have decided to have Christmas this year with your spouse's side of your family, or with friends unrelated, or maybe with no one at all. Maybe you've booked a Christmas vacation to the Bahamas! Good for you. So your plans have been made but a family member (hereafter known as "the tripper") is angry and is trying to guilt you into complying with their wishes.

A tripper's bold facebook guilt trip status might look like this:

"Wish I could spend Christmas with certain people..."

The tripper writes this little manipulative bomb, launches it and then sits there waiting for the explosion. The worst thing that can happen in their mind is: nothing. That's right. More than anything they want to get a response out of you. And ideally they want you to apologize or change your plans.

Let's talk about an option that's not as bold. The tripper might just write one word: "Wishing..."

What do they hope to accomplish by this one word? It's bait. They are desperately hoping someone will be curious enough to comment with, "what are you wishing for?" To which they might respond, "Oh, just for someone to spend Christmas with."

Or the tripper might expand their guilt trip to two words: "So hurt..."

They are waiting with baited breath for someone to respond with: "Hurt? What's wrong? Are you okay? I'm here for you...you're in my prayers, blah blah blah..." (The more people who comment, the more the guilt tripper is loving it. Their greatest nightmare is that no one will comment. That will throw them into a worse fit. And the are hoping beyond hope that you are reading the comments from others affirming their status.)

Comments are the trippers greatest asset because they give them an open door to say, "oh....I'm just hurting because I'm thinking about how Christmas is going to be soooo awful this year."

When you hold fast to your boundaries and stand up to them, the tripper will probably continue with a status update something like this:

"Why? I just don't understand...."

or "Why do some people thrive on hurting others?"

or... "What's a family for anyway?"

or... "Please somebody just wake me up when Christmas is over..."

If the tripper has further mental and spiritual instability they may go a step further to post a threat like:

"...might just be done with it all..."

or

"can't handle this. I'm checking out..."

or they might even cloak it in a bit of religious jargon:

"heaven can't wait any longer..."

So what do you do about this? I know it's hard when you are dealing with this kind of witchcraft. That's actually what it is. Manipulation of this kind of absolutely witchcraft, but if you tried to tell someone that they would be appalled. They would cry out, "Witchcraft!?? Are you crazy? It's love! I do this because I love you!!" (Then they'd tell everyone in the family you called them a witch. This would also be an action designed to get you to move in their direction.)

Some people have a warped sense of love. Manipulation, guilt trips and jealousy are not love. So what do you do?

1) Do not respond at all to any of these statuses publicly or privately. That's exactly what the tripper wants more than anything: your response!
2) Ignore whatever behavior you do not want to see continue.
3) Respond back only when spoken to with respect and devoid of manipulation.
4) Pray blessing over them, and release them and the situation to God for Him to deal with.
5) Hide them from your facebook wall, at least for now. (It's not healthy for you.)
6) Find like-minded healthy friends who understand and will help you to stay strong and encourage you in keeping your boundaries.
7) Speaking of boundaries, read Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud. I read it a few times a year and it helps me. I can't say it enough: this book should be in everyone's personal library and read at least once. I encourage everyone in our church to read it.
8) Go on with your life and enjoy it.

I hope this helps all of you out there who deal with trippers.

Having ourselves a merry little Christmas...

2011-12-19T09:00:00.001-05:00

Last night's leadership Christmas party at our home...the last guest didn't leave til' after 1:30 am, and a great time was had by all. I wish I could sleep all day today. I'm exhausted! But, I have so much to do for Christmas so I've got a full day today. It was all worth it! Love spending time with our leaders. Here are some photo highlights of the festivities last night.

Hot crab dip that will leave your guests screaming for more

2011-12-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

We'll serve this dish tonight -- another popular one at our leadership Christmas party and many other functions. Being that I'm from Baltimore, I love seafood and anything that contains crabmeat. Old Bay Seasoning makes it into many things we eat in our house all year round. I use it to season everything from my chicken salad (yes, that's the extra "yum" ingredient that everyone wonders about that gives the chicken salad it's extra special flavor), to soups to many other things. If you take this to a party be prepared for people to ask you for the recipe!

Hot Crab Dip

2 cans crab meat (I always use white, not claw. And, I use fresh crab meat if it's available. If it's fresh I use 1 cup.)

2 packages of cream cheese softened to room temperature

1 cup sour cream

¼ cup mayonnaise

¼ tsp onion salt

1 tsp. dry mustard

1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

1/4 tsp Old Bay Seasoning and extra to sprinkle on top

Mix cream cheese, sour cream, mayo, onion salt, dry mustard, and Worcestershire sauce. Add crab meat and mix. Spray small casserole dish with cooking spray. Place mixture in casserole dish and sprinkle lightly with Old Bay. Cover with lid or foil. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes. Serve with crackers or corn chips. My favorite thing to eat with this dip are Fritos "Scoops." Out of this world!

Artichoke Dip so great your guests will moan while they eat it...

2011-12-17T20:16:00.002-05:00

Things are super busy today getting ready for our leadership Christmas open house. I have a lot on my mind to write about but not a lot of time to do that adequately. So, I'm going simple and posting a recipe -- one of the favorites that we serve at the party. People love, love, love this and it's so easy to put together. Enjoy.

Artichoke Dip

8 ounces softened cream cheese

12 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese

1 cup mayonnaise

1 cup parmesan cheese

2 small jars or 1 larger jar marinated artichoke hearts

Drain artichokes well. Tear apart with fingers and put in mixing bowl. Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl, well. Bake in greased casserole dish 30 minutes at 350. Serve hot with Ritz crackers.

Hospitality Hints from the Hostess with the Mostest!

2011-12-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

Forget calling, responsibility and all that stuff..............I'm convinced some people might stay on our leadership team simply because they want to come to our Christmas party! ::giggles::

Every Christmas my husband and I host a party at our home to show our love and appreciation to our Celebration Church leaders. Between 70-80 people usually come as our leaders are invited to bring their spouse and kids.

Everyone loves this party from the youngest to oldest! We do everything from eat (of course!) to play games, and sit around the fire, and sing carols around the piano, and dance, and talk, talk, and talk some more.

We start at 6:00 PM and usually the last person leaves by about 2:00 AM. I did mention that our name is Celebration Church? Emphasis on the CELEBRATION.

Being a person that loves fresh culinary ideas, I'm always wanting to try something new but every time I dare mention changing the menu there is an outcry...."Nooooooooooooo! Don't change it!" These folks go postal if I suggest it. So, I don't. One year I omitted the artichoke dip and someone almost had a cow. So back on it went.

As a general rule Larry and I provide everything for this as a special appreciation to our people but there are those extra helpful folks who always say, "PD, I really want to help by bringing something, so pleassssssssssssssssse let me." I never turn down help. So a few of them will bring dishes to contribute and those are the items on the menu that may be different from year to year. If they bring something I let them decide what it is, but ask that it be along the lines of appetizer or dessert.

This weekend we are not getting much rest on our day off because I'm getting all of this ready -- both the food and the house. The big party is Sunday night but it takes me a few days to get everything in order.

People often ask me for ideas along the lines of hospitality and I'm happy to help. In case you're looking for some menu ideas, here's our tried and true one that we've done for the past 10 years straight.

If you'd like any of the recipes just comment and I'll be glad to post a recipe.

Leadership Christmas Party Menu
Hot Crab Puff Appetizers (people go bonkers over these and I do mean bonnnnnnnkers!!)
PD's famous chicken salad sandwiches (I serve them on a variety of breads ~ croissants, King's Hawaiian Bread, 12 Grain Bread among them - we go through several large trays of these.)
Mexican Dip with Tortilla Chips
Hot Crab Dip with Assorted Crackers
Hot Artichoke Dip with Assorted Crackers
Cheese and Olive Tray
Vegetable and Dip Tray
Cocktail Smokies in Barbeque Sauce
Cocktail Meatballs
Chocolate Eclairs
Cream Puffs
Brownies
Mini Cheesecakes
Chocolate, Vanilla & Red Velvet Cake Balls (This is a new addition this year - my husband is making them - new recipe he fell in love with from our friend Kirstyn Visconti.)
Grape Punch
Iced Tea
Coffee

All of the photos in this blog post are from last year's event. I'll post some from this year once it's over Sunday night!

5 ways to get something done when you don't feel like it

2011-12-15T20:34:00.000-05:00

People who are most effective in life have in common that they get things done regardless of what comes up. Dependability is one of the most important soft skills a person can possess.

Right now you may not feel like you're at your optimal best with hustle and bustle and holiday stress. I know the feeling. The other night it was all I could do to get through a rehearsal, I was so physically and emotionally exhausted from the extra holiday load. Then a few days ago a cold sore showed up on my lip -- always one of the telltale signs that I'm stressed.

But I know that my success depends on me pushing through the more challenging days and doing what needs to be done in spite of the way I may feel. Your success depends on that too.

Here are five things that help me to press on when I feel like stopping or procrastinating:

1) Start the day with a bit more self care

For me this means extra time to get ready in the morning. I like to start my day quietly with just the natural light coming through the window (or on the days I get up before the sun comes up, with just the shower light on) in the bathtub. I sink down in the warm water and lay there just soaking or talking to God. This really helps me get centered for the busy day ahead.

2) Build rewards in the middle of your day

Rewards needn't be expensive or complicated. Mine aren't, for sure. My rewards are things like a cup of coffee or tea each afternoon while I take a few minutes to put aside my work and read something for pleasure. I only allow myself to do this once I've finished at least half to three quarters of my initiatives.

3) Make a playlist that inspires you as you work

I use everything from my Zune to Spotify to Pandora. I have playlists for all kinds of things, even an "I don't feel like doing anything, so kick me in the pants" playlist. It works!

4) Make a checklist

I'm a huge list fan. My "Initiative List" is on my Outlook each day and I refer to it to check off each thing as I do it. Break it down into smaller steps and take joy in checking off each thing as you do it. If you're an accomplishment junkie like I am this will bring you exceedingly great joy.

5) Set up something in advance to look forward to at the end of the day

Again it needn't be elaborate or expensive. My something to look forward to is often knowing that I'm going to watch a certain TV show at night when I'm done with work, or having a plan to make a cup of coffee and call a friend. Other times my plan is to go out with friends.

Whatever the case, don't procrastinate! It just makes things worse and leads to a case of the overwhelmings when a due date is upon you and you have nothing done. Or, it brings great stress when your boss calls you on the carpet for not doing what you're supposed to do. Fortunately for me that has never happened because I do the things listed above and get it done. Come to think of it I don't recall one time any boss I've ever had has had to reprimand me for not getting things done. My current boss as well as most if not all of my previous ones read my blog, so they are welcome to correct me here in the comments if they want to if I'm wrong about this.

Is this really true?

2011-12-14T15:16:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I found this saying on Pinterest and re-pinned it to my "I so agree!" board that I made. (Yes, Pinterest is fast becoming my new favorite thing...)

I find myself getting very philosophical about things like this and meditating on it for days. Is it really true that very little is needed to make a happy life?

I'm convinced that it's true, especially for Christians.

I remember the first time I worshipped in Mathare Valley, in Kenya, Africa with some of the most poverty stricken people in the world. They don't have running water (other than sewage running with rainwater in the alleyways of the slum) and they don't have electricity or toilets or all the things we have. Dogs are loose wild animals and not pets, and they don't have healthcare or coffee bars on every corner, but they do have happiness.

I saw it.

When we worshipped in the church that November morning, it was amazing to see so many fall to the ground worshipping, crying out with a loud voice, "THANK YOU, FATHER! THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT WE HAVE!" Yes, I felt like an idiot, and yes, I wept.

I thought, "what do they have, Lord?" They quickly taught me about what it really means to be blessed.

I believe it does take very little to make for a happy life. I've been different since coming home that November back in 2007. My husband thought I needed counseling at first. He thought someone stole his wife and wanted her back. I sat in the tub and cried every time I took a bath. I ran around shutting off the water and the lights. I went postal about wasted food. And I cried a lot. Finally a missionary told my husband I was not in need of therapy. He said, "Pastor, your wife is not upside down, she's finally right side up. Everyone else is upside down -- they are the ones who need the counseling." (Thank God for missionary friends!)

This week I have been really happy. Ironically things are a little tight in our household this week. Not by African standards, but by American ones...we have paid our bills but don't have extra money left over. I haven't been buying Starbucks or even going Christmas shopping or anything extra. We've done things like stay home and make soup and clean the house.

And I'm happy.

Really happy!

Why you need to be distracted sometimes

2011-12-13T10:00:00.001-05:00

Image courtesy of http://www.psiquilt.com/2011/07/pinterest.html

I have preached against "fatal distractions."

I've given motivational talks on getting beyond distractions so one can "get down to business and accomplish your goals and dreams."

This is something I excel at -- focusing to achieve.

Unfortunately it's also partly responsible for my blood pressure being higher than it should be, and some other not-so-positive outcomes.

I have friends who accomplish a bit less than me, however they are generally healthier. And I've realized if I keep going this way they may outlast me. Not that I want my friends to die, but I really would prefer that none of us be missing. :)

So, I started thinking maybe I need a distraction now and then. A friend recently told me they take a break from working at their computer every 20 minutes, get up and walk around, just for the benefit to their vision alone. They are one of the most successful people I know so apparently regular planned distractions haven't affected their work.

Yesterday I said that I wasn't sure what I was going to do about my "me time" not working.

I've always been vehemently against distractions but I'm starting to see through the example of others I respect or admire that within moderation they may have some value especially for those with workaholic tendencies.

Yesterday I tried something new. For someone without a strong work ethic it might be a dangerous thing, even a terrible thing. For others it might prove helpful and even help to get more done in the long run.

I found a 'distraction' to take part in a few times during the day. Pinterest was my choice distraction yesterday. After every hour I'd stop for a few minutes and I'd click through looking at delightful things -- most things I'll never possess, but just wonderful eye candy. I had a blast. After a few minutes, I'd go back to my work and press in hard for a while until the next "distraction break".

I actually got more done than I usually do, despite the distraction! Hmmmmmmm...

I think this might be a real key to things improving.

When "me time" isn't helping you...what next?

2011-12-12T10:24:00.002-05:00

"Getting it all done" successfully is a lot of what I write about on this blog since it's the thing people ask me about most.

I came to a realization while on our family cruise. The painful physical symptoms I've been experiencing for almost two years were almost gone by week's end. It was then that I realized that my de-stressing strategy at home isn't working.

I'm sure you've heard the ol' "do something just for YOU, everyday" advice, especially if you're a woman. Everyone sings the praises of "me time".

I take time for myself each day. I might ride my bike for 30 minutes, or take a long bath at the end of the day, or go walking or read.

And nothing's changing with my stress level and physical symptoms.

I make a conscious effort to not complain but at times my friends or family can see my stress, even just the way I may wince in pain as I change positions. They say, "Have you been taking some time off each day to do something just for you?"

"Yes."

[Insert puzzled look here...] "Really?"

"Yes, really. I promise."

And I'm telling the truth.

But thirty to sixty minutes of "me time" doesn't revitalize your life if you're carrying some things God doesn't want you to carry.

I know I'm not alone. When I went to my doctor about six months ago and sought help for the pain she said she has a lot of patients going through the same exact thing. I believe there are times we all do what we have to do in extenuating circumstances. The problem is when the extenuating circumstances seem permanent they have gone on so long.

Maybe you find yourself in a similar situation.

So...what to do?

I'm not sure yet. But I know there are solutions even if I don't know what they are yet.

When I look at my situation I'm tempted to say things like:

"There aren't any other choices..."
"I've tried everything..."
"Nothing's working..."
"There's nothing else I can do..."

But that wouldn't be true. No matter what my feelings tell me those things aren't fact. I was reminded of that last week as I read this blog by Seth Godin.

There are some choices I'm probably avoiding because they are painful and others I don't know about. Sometimes God has a solution we've never imagined (because He's God -- His ways/thoughts are higher than ours) and sometimes friends suggest a choice never thought of.

The main point here is, I'm not powerless and neither are you.

We do have choices.

We can make course corrections and do things differently even if we don't know what different looks like yet.

Don't believe the lie that things have to stay like they are, or that you have no options. When someone doesn't give you an option, create one.

If you have not prayed, be quiet

2011-12-11T06:00:00.001-05:00

Deanna-rant again here.

Two days in a row. ~~I'm safe. I know that the diehards who realllllllly love me read the blog on the weekend.~~

I'm tired of my pastor-friends being shot down one by one by the devil.

I know a lot of factors are involved when things happen, but the fact is -- the church needs to pray more! Prayer is not supposed to be an afterthought.

I've heard it said that you can tell how popular the pastor is by how many people attend church on Sunday morning. You can tell how popular the church is by how many attend on Wednesday night. And you can tell how popular Jesus is by how many attend the church prayer meeting!

How long will we be content with a prayerless church?

Matthew 26:40-41 says: "When he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

He instructed them that prayer was necessary so that they would not succumb to temptation. We need individual prayer and we need corporate prayer.

Many people wonder why pastors or churches (or both) have meltdowns. More than one factor, but a huge one is a prayerless church or an almost prayerless church. (Definition of almost prayerless = churches that have a prayer during the service at some point but are devoid of most prayer otherwise.)

There is nothing more important than prayer.

Don't criticize.

Pray.

It makes all the difference.

I'll go a step further. If you have not been on your knees in prayer for your pastors for hours each week, then don't even open your mouth to speak a word about them or share what you think should happen in the church. If you have not travailed in prayer -- if your eyes have not wept tears over your pastors, your church, your city, and souls, then be quiet. You have no credibility or real authority if you have not been on your knees in prayer.

If you have not prayed and talked to Jesus about whatever you are concerned about first, why should anyone else have to listen to you?

Depressed because you don't have a holiday hook up?

2011-12-10T11:59:00.001-05:00

Warning: Deanna rant ahead.

If I see one more Christmas commercial, "every kiss begins with Kay" I'm going to puke.

Every year I hear some adults make the remark about hating the holidays, or dreading Christmas. And you know what? Most every single time it's about who they're not sharing Christmas with. It's their depression about the fact that that they are not dating, getting engaged, married, making out or having sex.

Newsflash: Christmas is not about whether you are making it to first, second, or third base, or all the way.

The way some believe you would think they mistakenly thought Luke 2:10 declared: “Fear not, for behold, I bring you snuggles of great joy that will be for all the people." [Sigh]

Christmas isn't about who we're with. It's about who's with us.

Emmanuel...GOD WITH US.

That's what this season is about. He chose to come in human form to become just like us, yet without sin. Through whatever it is that we're facing, or whatever our relationship status, He is with us.

Evidently a great amount of grown ups do not understand this with the way they carry on about not having anyone to share the holidays with, or that they don't have anyone to snuggle with, or the fact that the person they are snuggling with isn't going fast enough for them. I'll never forget one Christmas years ago a friend of mine sobbed through the entire day because she didn't receive an engagement ring under the Christmas tree and several of her friends did.

We wonder why our kids are so focused on everything but Christ at the holidays, but what are we adults projecting?

Emmanuel, GOD WITH US. Not who we're with.

Until we get that straight the depression will continue.

3 ways to entertain without a nervous breakdown

2011-12-09T11:51:00.000-05:00

Fear of entertaining seems to be an issue that's not so uncommon. I talk to many people who have told me they have never welcomed guests in their home. Some want their domain to be strictly a private refuge, others don't know where to begin and feel inadequate when it comes to inviting people over.

Dessert table at our leadership Christmas party at our home last year.

We welcome people into our home often, in fact tonight the Celebration women will be coming to our home and Sunday night we're having all of the newcomers over. We usually invite anyone who is new to the church over every other month, and have a "getting to know you" time. It's not uncommon for us to have anywhere from one or two people to 70 people at the house. A few New Year's Eve's ago, we had over 100 people here. It was organized chaos!

Some of the kids dancing on New Year's Eve last year in our family room.

At times I do something with all of the china and the trimmings, and other times it's pizza and paper plates. In my experience, it's wisdom to plan around what you can handle at the time depending upon your schedule. With this in mind, here are three things to help you if you're struggling:

1) Invite others to bring some food

I'm doing this tonight. In years gone by, I might have made all of the food for this evening's gathering and spent a lot of time doing things that took a lot of work, like a 5 layer dessert, or a three to five course dinner, all made by me. Honestly, I don't have time for that right now. I'm working multiple jobs. But I really want to spend time with the women. Rather than say, "I don't have time to get things ready to spend time with the ladies," I simply ask them to help me. I've asked everyone to bring a dish to share tonight. I am providing all of the drinks (simple: only purchases involved except for my iced tea which they LOVE.) and also a very simple appetizer when the early birds arrive. One of my favorite things is chilled red pepper jelly and cream cheese on a cracker. That takes all of two seconds to make and will be ready when everyone gets there. Other than that I will have no personal food prep for tonight.

2) Use paper products

Everything doesn't have to be china and stemware to be special. Friends will be so glad you invited them in, and aren't concerned about whether they are eating off of Noritake or Chinet. Incidentally, I'm using all paper products tonight, except for the hot drinks.

3) Enlist your family's help with cleaning.

When we're having a party at our house, everyone helps to get the house ready. At times it even gives us an "excuse" to do special jobs we don't always do.

Happy entertaining! You can do it!

Stuff rolling around in my head

2011-12-08T09:00:00.001-05:00

If you don't change the small things first you probably won't get around to the big things.

Too many people wait for someone to draw them out, and compel them to change. The truth is no leader is going to spend as much time drawing you out as will be required for a next level.

Leaders gravitate toward pliable people. The "want to" has to be there.

Don't expect a leader to keep investing when you haven't followed through on what they've already asked you to do.

Nothing big is ever going to change until you change something you do daily.

Are you confused about your life direction?

2011-12-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm speaking about this tonight at Celebration in our fusion service and thought I'd share a few thoughts here on my blog.

God is not the author of confusion. This means if you are in a depressed state of mind or confused, what you are feeling is not from the Lord. I Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not a God of disorder, but of peace…”

Many people are confused because they wrestle with the idea of being "called." Understand there are callings on all of our lives in a sense. And, one of the first things people often don’t realize is that there is a difference between our spiritual gifts, a call, and a burden.

When we get these mixed up we can begin to suffer confusion.

Every believer has spiritual gifts. And every believer is a minister though not necessarily a vocational one.

Many people have been enlightened as to their spiritual gifts and then they think, “Wow...oh my...this is amazing. God is using me!! It must be His will that I now do this exclusively and/or get paid to do this!!”

I know of a guy who frequently served as an altar worker at his church and when he anointed people with oil and laid hands on them they were often instantly healed. His response to that was that it was time for he and his wife to quit work, pull their kids out of school, start homeschooling them, buy an RV and travel around the country doing healing services.

That was a huge mistake for that family.

Why do people feel as through when a gift is discovered they suddenly must go off somewhere else to utilize it?

Understand that if it was true that spiritual gifts determined our vocational direction, then all of us would be quitting our jobs. Nobody would be left in the marketplace. Because spiritual gifts are meant to flow through every one of us.

Everyone possesses spiritual gifts and some people are blessed to have more than one or even many. One you discover your gifts, guard against thinking you are automatically supposed to abandon everything in order to use them. You might be called to do that, but many who are not supposed to do that do it, and then fall flat and get disillusioned and blame their pastor or their church or even God for their lack of hearing Him clearly.

The best thing we can do in ascertaining God’s will is live a life close to Him daily and follow His plan for today and the rest has a way of unfolding.

Could it be possible that God is empowering you for your environment and you are where you are for such a time as this?

Applebees offered me a job

2011-12-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

One Sunday after church we went to a local Applebees with about 30 people. We waited about half an hour for another large group to finish eating and leave so we could take their place. Once they finished and left , the manager came over and told us it would take the servers about 15 more minutes to clear off the tables in front of us to prepare them to seat us. I was incredulous. Seriously? Fifteen minutes to clear off some tables? What were they smoking?

I was a server. I know what it takes to do it. And 15 minutes is waaaaay too much for servers who are on their game whether you have a bus boy or not.

I didn't complain. But I also didn't ask. I just acted.

You know, a little less talk and a lot more action! (Someone should write a song about that...) I knew I was overstepping my bounds, but figured that forgiveness was better than permission. While they putzed around, I proceeded to clear the tables myself. Grabbing a large round tray from one of the stations nearby I started clearing and stacking and even carried the tray into the kitchen.

Brazen? Yes but I was just so over it, hungry, standing there with 29 other people and being told it was going to take 15 minutes to clear a table. As I was finished wiping down the tables with a wet bar mop found nearby, the manager came over and said, "Ummm..wow... M'am, do you need a job? Because, we could really use someone like you..." [Insert giggles of church folks who were with us.]

We were seated at the tables in five minutes.

Larry stood there not knowing whether to be mortified or proud. In answer to the manager's inquiry about hiring me I said, "No, I have a job, but thanks so much for asking."

Here's a job coaching tip for you today -- if you know how to get things done correctly, consistently and in a timely fashion, there will be jobs that will come to you. It may not be the ultimate dream job you're looking for but plenty of "jobs on the way to where you're going" will present themselves if you just give 100% to whatever is in front of you at the time.

If you need a job try giving yourself one for free, or getting one for free and see if it might lead to a paying job offer. Think this is crazy? A lot professionals are advising people to work for free just to show what you're capable of. You might be surprised at what happens.

Can people trust you?

2011-12-05T09:00:00.161-05:00

Trusting others isn't my strong suit.

There are many reasons for this going waaaaaay back. Actually it goes back to 1966. ~~You think I'm kidding?~~ It's a combination of challenging things that have happened, my personality type (the rarest of all types - only 1% share it), fallen nature and I'm sure other factors I'm not even aware of.

My trust issues have gotten worse as time goes on. Back and forth I go wondering if this is a good thing or a bad thing. We refer to them as "trust issues" as if it's a problem, but then encourage people to rely on God and trust in Him alone. There are scriptures-- hundreds of them, to back that up. And songs. Look no further than, "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name."

There is definitely a mixed message we send that you are to trust in God alone, and in the next breath we tell people they need to trust the people surrounding them. It's confusing. Organizations bring coaches in to assist in developing trust between co-workers. Professionals do everything from ropes courses to "trust falls" to create an environment of trust. I never was a fan of trust falls. Or ropes courses. ~~Let me be perfectly clear, I despise both. I would rather drink iced tea out of a soda foundation machine and if you've had it before you know it's disgusting.~~

I've been let down by people a lot. But who isn't? I'm nobody special in that regard. Everybody gets shafted. The difference is that some people respond better than others. Or at least they respond differently. I'm don't know whether I'm classified as better or different, but my response to getting disappointed is to work harder, always have a "Plan B" and never give up.   This works but not without it's share of crushing fatigue. I also eat when I get let down. Just being honest. It's a mountain I am perpetually conquering and will never give up.

Vocational ministry for 25 years has put my ability to trust on life support, and working for almost three years in the re-employment industry has almost flat-lined it.   It's not my co-workers at NextJob that I have challenges with. They are some of the most amazing people I've ever worked with. The challenge is with job seekers. Some are victims of circumstance when they get laid off, and some are terminated for cause. With many I totally understand why.

My goal is to ask powerful questions, designed to get them to think about the possibilities. What might be on the horizon if they were to reinvent themselves? What might take place if their work ethic changed? At times they don't even keep their appointment with me, which reveals a lot.

I know too much about the average person's work ethic. So much that it's dangerous...to my own peace of mind. I've become very skeptical about things where safety is concerned.

I know a guy who works on airplanes that I wouldn't trust to take out my trash. And this dude is maintaining and fixing planes. Every time I get on a plane I think about that now. I try not to, but it's hard.

When I was younger I used to love rollercoasters. In the last few years I stopped riding most of them. I figure if the person who is supposed to maintain the rollercoaster decides they want to take more time on their break or lunch and not really do a thorough check this time, it could be the time right before I ride it. Maybe their hot sandwich was waiting and they rushed through because they were hungry and wanted to eat. Maybe their significant other texted them and they were distracted.

I could write a whole post on nothing but workplace distractions. Okay, so it's not tragic that the Taco Bell in our town has gotten our drive thru order wrong every single time for the seven years we've lived in this neighborhood. It's irritating, but not tragic. But a plane? A roller coaster? Much different than a bag of tacos although if I were making tacos I'd take it seriously and most anyone who knows me can vouch for that.

As my observation of the typical American worker continues, I become overly-sensitive to too much that could happen and many things that probably never will.

Before we went on our cruise last week I went to get my hair done. I spoke to my hairdresser and good friend, Ada, and she asked me if I was going zip lining. (I was thinking about it on our last cruise to Cozumel but due to the aforementioned trust issues, did not.) She said, "Deanna, you need to go. You need to break through your fear and trust issues. Really, you need to do this. And don't you dare come back in here to get your hair done next time and tell me you didn't go zip lining!"

Ugh. I knew I had to face my fears because who the heck else am I going to get to do such an amazing job on my hair?   She's the only person I tru......... ~~ugh, there we go with that word again.~~

I also wanted to have fun with my kids. I don't want them to think I'm a boring Mom. I don't care if they accuse me of being strict, eccentric or even mean at times when I have had to enforce standards in our home. But boring? No. It's a sin to be boring. At least in my personal interpretation of the bible. My fears are starting to make me boring...

When we got to Fly High Adventures, I was hoping to God that the zip lines wouldn't be as high as I imagined in my head, but they were. Especially the first one. Feeling a little weak in the knees I got strapped into the harness and began the climb up the tower with my family. The wooden tower made noise as we climbed it. "What is that creaking?" I wondered. It felt way too rickety for me but I kept saying, "cancel, cancel, cancel" as I climbed. Cancel those fearful thoughts!    We were all attached onto a rope as we climbed each tower, in case one of us fell we were always on the wire. Dustin went across first, then Savanna, then Jordan and then it was my turn.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it would beat out of my chest. The guide reminded me to keep my left hand on the rope and my right hand behind me on the wire, leaning back. After attaching both of the straps of my harness to the wires, he said, "Okay, sit back...and then gave me a hard push across the first wire...

Oh my stars!!!

Seriously??!!

I wish I could say I was immediately over my fears but truth be told I was in shock the first time. I mean I literally went into a state of mind that I can only describe as numb. When I got to the other side the guide gently caught me on the platform, and helped me steady myself and stand up, but I was holding on with a death grip on the wire, just blankly staring ahead and shaking.

"M'am...you have to let go of the wire."

It was if I didn't hear a word he said. I stood there, silent and blinking. And blinking some more.

I had the disoriented kind of feeling you have right before or after you faint.

"M'am...you have to let go..."

Jordan knew I needed help. Coming to my side he soothed with, "Mom, you're alright. You made it! Let go of the wire and step over here with me."

"What am I supposed to do?" I mumbled. I kept blinking, just starting straight ahead motionless. It was as if whatever he said made no sense. My feet remained frozen right where I landed, as if there were 100 lb bricks attached.

He started prying my gloved hands from the wires saying, "Let go of the wire, Mom, you're alright." He steadied me by the shoulders while the guide took my harness and reattached it to the rope with the rest of the family, to get ready to zip across the next tower.

I took my gloves off as Larry was zipping across. My hands were dripping with sweat. (My hands get sweaty when I get nervous.) I wiped my hands down, put the gloves back on. I took them off and wiped them down all twelve times. The sweat never stopped.

I wanted to come down from the tower.

I wanted to come down so bad.

They had stairs on each one in case you wanted to quit. You could just walk down and be done.

I wanted to quit. I wanted to complain. But I wouldn't allow myself to do either. For so many reasons. One of them was that I remembered the quote by Tommy Barnett, "There's nothing wrong with wanting to quit. Just don't."

So I didn't.

I needed to do this.

I did it eleven more times. With each line, my family was hollering and wishing they had dozens more times. As for me, I would do one and then silently think, "Okay, we're a third of the way through...I can make it, I can make it...I can make it"

At one point when I was particularly nervous, getting ready to go across the longest zip line with nothing at the bottom (I felt safer over the trees than bare ground) Larry pointed out the owner's dog, "Chico".

We met Chico when we came in to the zip line park. He was chasing a soccer ball and playing in the area where we got our harnesses on. He immediately warmed up to me and I petted him while we waited to go up to the towers. I learned that Chico had his own harness and loved to zip line! I was amazed. A zip lining dog!!! At one point Chico climbed the tower with us and got ready to cross. He actually gave me courage! Knowing how I feel about dogs Larry said to me, "Deanna, just look at Chico and you'll calm down." I did and it worked! Just like Max and Maddie often bring a calm to me and literally serve as my blood pressure medication, so Chico did too!

The rest of my family were flying high and lovin' it!

Jordan has no fear of most things. The group we were zip lining with had never experienced anyone quite like him. When he would do this stuff, other tourists who were zip lining would scream and ask us, "Are YOU that crazy boy's parents?" Ha ha! The Mexican guys who ran the place said, "Hey, Jordan, you're a pro. You need to come work for us." Of course he loved that...

Larry went with no hands a lot too. When it came to him the Mexican guys would say, "Ah sir...please keep your hands on the rope..." Ha ha! They had to tell me to take my hands OFF the rope when done, and ask him to keep his hands ON. Too funny.

Dustin just rode along, relaxed and enjoyed.

Savanna loved it! She's a real adventurous girl. She can't wait to go again!

What's my point of this post other than to say that I managed to zip across a high wire 12 times? A few things as it relates to your success...

Even after you accomplish something, it doesn't always mean the next time is easier just because you've done it before. If there is something significant you feel the need to achieve for you, for others, or for whatever reason, keep persevering, even when it hard.

It's okay to want to quit. Just don't.

Can't resist one last thing about the job market since so many are looking right now...

There's a huge market for trust. Many people including myself will sacrifice a bit in the areas of education, certifications or other hard skills in the process of hiring someone in exchange for greater dependability. I tell my job seekers there is no greater value than their soft skills.

People who really want to work are hot, hot, hot! Extremely conscientious workers are still like finding a needle in a haystack. Okay, calm down. I'm not guaranteeing you a job in your field. You may have to do something entirely different than you've ever done. But there IS something for you to do. For the worker who will deliver 100% quality on time, every single time (and be loyal while they're doing it), there will be an open door.

If. If is a huge word. You always thought it was comprised of two letters but it's much larger than that!

The truth is, most people today are not hired because of a resume. I'm a person who professionally writes resumes ~~and darn good ones!~~ and I'm telling you the truth. ~~(You should still hire me if you think you need a resume. I'll write you one that will have Donald Trump eating out of your hand and still be 100% factual.)~~ The hidden job market is where it's at, with 80% of all hires coming from there. The hidden job market is all about your network. This means who you are is just as important as what you produce. References, recommendations and referrals are golden.

The bottom line of this post?
There's a huge market for trust.

We did it!

These are a few of my favorite things...about the past week

2011-12-04T07:00:00.004-05:00

Dessert, dessert and more dessert. It was EVERYWHERE. My favorite? Chocolate melting cake.

Water with lime. And lots of it. It's how I drink my water at home too.

And lots of it... lol :)

Love sitting on the deck listening to the band. All of these bands play Margaritaville and Brown Eyed Girl at least once an hour. I've noticed that.

With my man...gettin' ready to go see a comedy show.

Shrodes offspring just havin' fun

The kiddos ready for dinner on formal night.

Sunset in Cozumel

Love this street in Cozumel

Walking a few miles in Mexico. Here are Larry, Dustin and Savanna

This dog, "Chico" was amazing. I fell in love with him! He was at a place where we zip lined. He belongs to the owner. Chico had his own harness and he actually zip lined! He gave me courage.

Sittin' in a hammock on the beach ~ Cozumel

Took four of my "MORE" magazines and read them on the Serenity deck. (My favorite spot - for adults 21 and over, and VERY peaceful!) Alternated between the hot tub and reading. Just what the doctor ordered.

We're waaaiiiiiittting...............................

2011-12-03T09:00:00.002-05:00

Uncle Mike has been taking such good care of us, but when...when...when will Momma and Daddy, Dustin, Jordan and Savanna be home?

He says they are coming home today.

But how many more hours? How many more minutes?

It's been a whole five days since we've pounced on them and licked their faces. That's way too long, but thank you Uncle Mike for treating us as your very own.

We love you,

Hey, get a room!

2011-12-02T10:00:00.003-05:00

We did!

We've got our own room on this little getaway for a reason. Because our time alone is still important.

It's even more important as time goes on. Our marriage hasn't lasted for almost 25 years without being intentional.

A lot of couples raise children, even do that very successfully and then when they are grown and begin families of their own, the couple realizes they lost connection a long time ago.

Friday is our day off and I traditionally call it, "Fun Friday." Well, this is a really fun Friday ~ sailing out on the ocean, making our way back to Tampa, Florida. We'll be back in the morning but in the meantime connecting on this boat is a really fun way to pass the time.

It's Throwback Thursday!

2011-12-01T10:00:00.005-05:00

Check out my hair...could there possibly be more of it? It was more like a mane than a hairdo. ::giggles:: Do I look tired? I was! I had just given birth, and I was nursing all the time, not to mention running after two active boys. And as you might notice, I was married to the guy from The Wedding Singer...hahahaha!!!

I still hadn't lost all my baby weight and wanted to hide behind my handsome boys. ~~The baby is 14 now and many are wondering why I still haven't lost the baby weight.~~

And I know, I know...we're all in matching shirts. Some of you might be ready to send this photo off to Awkward Family Photos.

What's awkward to some is precious to others. Okay, it's precious to ME.

Notice that Savanna even had a color coordinated hair bow to match her tie dye shirt. Right now she'd say, "Motherrrrrrrrr...what WERE you thinking?" ~~She is praising God that she can now dress herself.~~

What's the point of this post? Simply to share a family memory with you and encourage you to make your own. Take some photos too. They say a good snapshot stops a moment from running away. :)

This is one of my favorite memories...our first family vacation after Savanna was born. She was just a few months old and we went to Ocean City, Maryland.

All these years later we're still making memories. This is mine and Larry's 25th year! We have lots of them. Today I have the delight of being with these same four people that color my world in such a beautiful way. We aren't wearing matching shirts or anything like that, but we're loving life and spending it in Cozumel today.

Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me.

Who wants a vacation?

2011-11-30T10:00:00.001-05:00

Do you take all your time off? I didn't used to and it was a huge mistake.

A recent survey revealed that for most American employees, eleven vacation days a year are left unused, and almost a third of employees are "too afraid to ask for vacation" in a time of high unemployment and job insecurity, according to the Daily Mail. The survey also revealed that not taking vacation days resulted in anger problems among staffers.

A lot of people ask me how I manage several jobs at once. In fact, it seems to be a focus of what people ask me about most. I will say that I do better with several jobs and all my vacation time than I did with one job and little to no vacation time.

The reasons I didn't take vacation in the past were noble. I meant well and even spiritualized it. But, it actually worked against me, not for me. It's important to take all of your time off, particularly if you're a pastor -- I encourage you to take every bit of time coming to you, because it only makes things better for you and for the church. I used to be convinced that the more time I took off, the worse the church would be but actually I've come to see the opposite is true.

In her article, Stress Management: Signs You Need a Vacation, Ntathu Allen, The Yoga For Stress Management Consultant shares the following:

Five Signs You Need A Vacation

1. You regularly suffer from headaches, sore shoulders, back ache and neck pain.
2. You are unable to concentrate at work and find yourself working longer hours. You take work home and feel resentful at the impact this has on your relationships at home.
3. You are always tired, drained and lack energy. It takes you twice as long to get up and going. It feels like you have lost your mojo.
4. You are always snappy and ratty with your family and at work become moody and irritable with colleagues.
5. Your heart rate is higher than normal. You often hold your breath without realizing and your blood pressure is raised.

When I begin to see any or all of these signs, I know it's time. My goal is to avoid having these five happen by regularly taking my day off (Friday). Vacation time does need to be used up, but I notice even with vacation time utilized, I'll start having the above symptoms if I don't take my day off each week.

With that said, the church is in capable hands and I'm very glad to be away this week. Thank you, Lord, for your blessings on me.

The greatest blessing EV-er!!!

2011-11-29T10:00:00.023-05:00

Our kids want to spend time with us!

What could be better?

This past week of Thanksgiving I heard a lot of people (including me) talking about how grateful they are to have a place to live, a church family, a job, etc. It's easy to lose sight of other blessings that sometimes go undetected when you are used to something -- like your kids talking to you or spending time with you.

I was talking about vacations with a friend whose children are also in their twenties. She shared that her kids would never willingly go on a trip with with her and her husband. She said, "I think that would be their nightmare...maybe mine too."

That got me to thinking how blessed Larry and I are. Our kids seem to love being with us. They couldn't wait to take this trip.

I am blessed among all women. Thank you, Lord, for your blessings on me.

Bon Voyage!

2011-11-28T09:00:00.001-05:00

Today my family is headed for some special time together, just the five of us. It's been a while since it's been "just us five"...where we're away from it all and no one can get ahold of us even if they tried. We are so excited.

As a pastor appreciation gift last year, the church sent Larry and I on a cruise to Cozumel and Costa Maya. It was the most A-May-Zing vacation we'd ever experienced, first and foremost because we were truly away from it all for a week -- no one could reach us by computer or phone. We were really unplugged! If you knew how much our phone rings, you'd know how significant that is! Being truly unplugged had never happened before in 24 years of our marriage/ministry, and let me tell you, that cruise was a week from heaven! I really believe it's the first vacation in the history of our marriage that I was ever able to really relax and rejuvenate. I didn't have to do a thing but just get myself showered, dressed and ready each day. Literally everything else was done for me. I have never in my adult life had that happen before. It was true utopia for a week.

So our first cruise was really special for us to experience it -- just the two of us. I'll always be glad it was that way. Although we enjoyed our time alone, we couldn't help but think about how much the kids would enjoy the trip. With each new experience we'd comment, "Oh, Jordan would loooove that," or "this is right up Dustin's alley..." or "Savanna would go crazy over that." We enjoyed our time alone as a couple but we thought of all the things we really wanted to experience with our children before our family starts changing or increasing. Kids have a way of growing up, you know...

We came home from Mexico and my husband, in particular, was intent on making a family cruise happen. He started researching and looking for deals, and saving. He was a man on a mission!

We were unsure as to how it would work out -- after all, we're in a challenging economy. Our family has been affected just like most other families. We approached the kids, told them how much we wanted to take this trip together and asked them if they would be willing to do this as a family Christmas gift, in place of exchanging any other gifts. All three of them immediately said, "Absolutely! Yes!!" They were so excited! So we started planning and saving and putting together some creative strategies to make it happen. And...we kept it quiet. Why? Well, there have been no shortage of friends or family who have said,"hey, we wanna go on a cruise with you guys!" and while it's absolutely wonderful to be loved, we wanted to have some time with just the five of us. The older my kids get, the more precious I realize this "just us 5" time is! Larry and I are absolutely savoring all the time we have left until our family dynamic changes.

So this is our family Christmas present. December 25 will be a lot simpler this year. It truly will be all about Jesus' birthday, and going to church and sharing a meal together afterwards. And,we will have some great memories to look back on from this week. We leave for Cozumel and the Cayman Islands this morning and we'll be back Saturday. Sunday we'll be back with our Celebrators, rarin' and ready to go!

Max and Maddie had to stay home of course. But they have a great live-in babysitter to take care of them. "Uncle Mike" is staying with them. (Thanks Mike, you're the best!) I'll miss them dearly, but really need this time with the four most important people in my world, besides them. :)

I never take a break from blogging, so my blogs are set to publish this week each day while I'm gone. Keep checking back to hear what was on my heart before I left. I'll write longhand while I'm gone, in my journal...

Now, off to enjoy the four people I love more than anyone else in the world, in between sitting on a deck chair and reading for hours without worrying about anything.

It also happens to be my husband's birthday today and he's especially excited to spend it this way.

Happy birthday Teeby, and Merry Christmas Shrodes family, all in one day! This might just be too much excitement to handle at once! :)

Are you involved or committed?

2011-11-27T15:31:00.003-05:00

Someone once said that the difference between involvement and commitment is like a ham and egg breakfast - the chicken was involved but the pig was committed.

The sad reality is that most people settle for being involved without ever making a commitment.

This morning I taught about this at Celebration and we had some fabulous discussion. We talked about the differences between the business world and the church and how many if not most people give a greater level of commitment to the things of the world than the bride of Christ -- the church! (The reason for this is money - which simply indicates the level of idolatry in the church today.)

Let me ask you this...would you trust someone who was where they are supposed to be 80% of the time? What about a person who did what they agreed to do 80% of the time? I realize 80% is still the majority of the time, but I've chosen that number to prove a point. Although it's the vast majority if they were faithful 80% of the time they would still be irresponsible 20% of the time. If you knew somebody was definitely not dependable for 20% of the time, would it alter your level of trust? Of course.

There are serious differences between being involved and being committed. Being involved means you can pretty much do what you want -- anytime you want. You can just sort of drop in or come and go as you please.

The illustration I used this morning was that of a "call up choir". I've been in churches (mostly in the south - not Florida south - we're not really the south, ha ha!) where they do this. At a certain point in the service the pastor or music director says that the choir's getting ready to sing and "calls up" anybody who wants to sing. These folks come out of the congregation and go up on the stage to sing. Of course they just do familiar songs that everyone knows like Heaven's Jubilee or Amazing Grace. There is no rehearsal --they just wing it and you might have 25 people in the choir or 75 depending on how many came to church that day and feel like participating. Consider this versus a choir where it's mandatory to attend rehearsals to be a part and there are guidelines to be a member of the group. There is a whole different level of excellence with this kind of group that isn't possible with a call up choir.

Nobody will ever move forward with a call up choir attitude!

Commitment involves the fulfilling of promises but with it comes a greater blessing and favor. Some wonder, "why has this happened for others and not for me?"

A person can have great gifting but be unusable because of commitment issues.

Luke 16:10 says “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” Some people wonder why they have not been entrusted with any greater position, ministry, finances, etc. Amazingly they just don't get the connection between this and their 100% dependability.

Someone in class today brought up, "what about grace...where does grace enter into the picture?" Certainly there is grace and forgiveness just as God grants the same to us. Trust is a different issue.

In order for trust to be re-established a person would have to build a track record of trustworthiness all over again.

Commitment is the only way to grow. Nobody moves forward only being half way in. You've got to go all in to win.

Mundane and Miraculous in Shrodesville

2011-11-26T20:11:00.000-05:00

Lord have mercy...I'm just sitting down to blog at 8 pm, and still have several hours worth of work to do! Truth be told I'm looking for a good excuse to sit down for a few minutes and sip on some iced tea. Can you tell I'm addicted to iced tea? Unsweetened with a slice of lime. Doesn't get any better than that! Unless maybe you're having a piece of pie with it...

We've been working all day, like dogs. Well no, not really like dogs. Whoever made up that stupid phrase, "working like a dog" anyway? My dogs do nothing except sit in front of the sliding glass window and get sun, or lay on the couch.

I'm grateful to have a roof over my head and a nice place to live. No complaints there. But sometimes when I hear people talk about the dream of home ownership I wanna say, "Are you on crack?" It takes so much work to keep up a home. Many days I feel like I'm failing at it! Many people ask me, "How do you do it all? Well, sometimes I don't. Especially with me working several jobs and keeping a home, things pile up and then they start screaming at me. Did you know dust talks? Mine does! At least once a month I say to Larry, "wouldn't it be nice to sell our house and move to an apartment or condo where we don't have any outside upkeep?" And then he gives me a sermon about how blessed we are. And I tell him we are blessed but I'm tired. We have this same conversation at least once a month. ::smile::

Savanna did all the weeding on Friday, which was amaaaaaazzzzing. I am usually the one to do it. At our house it's an overwhelming job. Seven beds to do. Some summers I have spent 2-3 hours a night for several weeks straight out there getting it all done. I sprayed it with RoundUp so well last time a few months ago that there are fewer weeds now so it only took her one night. I went through and sprayed again today, to try to keep the weeds under control. In our neighborhood they don't take kindly to weeds. The HOA sends you letters about it threatening to fine you. Yes. I. Am. Serious. We get letters sometimes if it's been too long since I've pulled weeds, or asking us bleach our mailbox down again, which everyone in our neighborhood is supposed to do on a regular basis to keep our boxes lily white. Yes, seriously. As if it weren't enough to keep my teeth flossed and white, I have to worry about my mailbox.

Larry trimmed the queen palms, Savanna trimmed the back yard bushes, got everything tidy again out there. Then I strung clear/white lights on all the bushes in the back yard...drained and cleaned the jacuzzi and Larry filled it back up again. This was just all we did outside today. ::breathe::

Back inside I made three Christmas centerpieces, cleaned a chandelier, replaced candles, did two loads of dishes, and the list goes on.

It's only 8 PM and I'm planning on 2-3 hours more tonight working on other things around the house. There's so much to do and it calls to me all the time. Especially now that we're gearing up to have so many people at our house during the holidays.

We're just going hard at it today, pressing through and getting things done. Before I go to bed hopefully the jacuzzi will be heated enough to sit out there for a while and look at our fabulous lights on the bushes.

I once heard a speaker say, "God is more in the mundane than the miraculous."

If that's true, God was all over the place at my house today. :)

Traditions are a splendid thing

2011-11-25T20:26:00.001-05:00

Traditions! Love 'em!

We have several the day after Thanksgiving. More recently Savanna and I have been getting up at 5:00 AM and going out shopping for black Friday. First we shopped, then went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, then shopped again and got home at about 10:00 am. Vanna and I are serious bargain hunters and we got 70% off on most of our merchandise. Believe it or not we spent the most time at Salvation Army. That's our favorite store. Seriously! And yes, they had black friday sales!

Things took off like a rocket when we got home because the main thing we do on this day is the Christmas decorating of our home. We decorated the church with a team of amazing folks from Celebration this past Monday - Wednesday and now it was time to focus on our home. Our house is the gathering spot for a lot of things during this season for the church. I have a women's gathering here, we have our leadership and their families here (about 70-80 people), and in a few weeks we'll also have our newcomer's over. Each year I've also had a huge New Year's Eve party, probably about 100 people, and we have our decor up for that too.

We have a lot of Christmas trees. Last year there were 8. We're not quite there yet this year -- we had one tree break last year and I had to throw it away and I'll be looking for a bargain at the end of the season to add to our collection. I still don't have the tree in our bedroom up yet. By the way there's a reason I have all these trees. Go here to read about it. Get some tissues first. This is one of my blog posts that has gotten the most feedback, the most e-mail and tears, and well...it's just real special.

Here's what my house looks like so far:

The entry way to the house. In hindsight I should have turned some lights on before I took the photo so you could see the wreaths on my doors, but oh well! Those are poinsettias by the door to the left. Tomorrow Larry and Jordan will hang the icicle lights around the frame of the house. Love that!

Tree as you walk in our front door. This is our family history tree. I didn't buy anything on it but the lights. Everything was either a gift from special people in the church or our family down through the years or our kids made the ornaments. There are lots of milestones ("Our first Christmas", "Baby's first Christmas") and stuff like that. When Larry and I got married I knew I wanted to do a tree like this and the first few years it was bare and we just kept adding to it year after year. Today Savanna said, "Mom, we need a bigger tree! We've got a lot of family history!"

As you come into the family room you can see a smaller tree that has blue lights and silver decorations. It's mainly decorated with the Martha Stewart "snowflake" collection. I think it's peaceful. You can see Max and Maddie there, getting in the Christmas spirit.

Just another photo of the same...

This tree is in our kitchen ~ it's my sugared fruit tree. It reminds me of the importance of the fruit of the spirit. Sometimes I use red lights - this year we used clear. It's got a lot of sugared fruit and leaves and stuff like that. Excuse the pile of laundry on the table. Just keepin' it real!

I am just getting around to blogging tonight because I've been so busy today. Now it's time for me to make a tall glass of iced tea and go get in my tub and soak. I need all the sleep I can get -- tomorrow it's my day to clean my house from top to bottom. For all of you who think Deanna does nothing but sit around and write all day...are you on crack??? :)

Have a most blessed evening, my friends...

Portraits of thanks

2011-11-24T09:00:00.002-05:00

I'm thankful for my amazing family.

I'm thankful for my home.

I'm thankful for our amazing church! This is a photo from our Thanksgiving dinner last Sunday night. The best ever!

I'm thankful for this sweet BFF who never leaves my side. This is Maxie last night sitting next to me while I updated facebook. He sits right next to me just like this whenever I work on the computer. A constant, faithful, sweet friend. When he wants me to stop typing and give him a little more attention he touches me with his paw and I love on him a little before going back to work.

Thankful for this sweet girl -- our miracle! Maddie lights our world with love. Her scar is a reminder to us of where she was and how far she's come, and that God does answer prayer.

I'm thankful for the street we live on, for the nice sidewalks I walk on every day.

I'm thankful for the sights I see on my walks everyday in our neighborhood.

I'm thankful that I live near the beach.

I'm thankful for the beautiful sunrises and sunsets I saw while on my bike this past year. I'm thankful for friends that rode bikes with me and shared these moments.

I'm thankful for the blessing of leading worship with my family, all the time. By God's grace I've raised children who will do much greater things than me.

I'm thankful for naps. Especially the way I take 'em, with the best snuggler ever.

I'm thankful for beautiful mornings in the well fields near my home. Thankful for friends who shared time with me in the fields.

I'm thankful for a church that prays - with young people who worship and pray and cry out to God with all their might. This photo was taken between midnight and 1 am, by the way. Yeah, these folks are hard core for God and that's my baby girl there in the green shirt in front. :)

I'm grateful for these faces that are most happy to see me walk in the door each day.

I'm grateful for our table that has welcomed so many friends this past year and holds so many memories of lunches, dinners and late night conversations.

I'm thankful for a man of God who preaches God's word uncompromised!

Thankful that I'm not the only worship leader in the family anymore.

Thankful to have raised a young man who is passionate about life, the Lord, and music.

Thankful for a daughter who is beautiful inside and out ~ loves the Lord, His church, and is gonna change the world!

I'm thankful for so many friends and family near and far. I never selected a photo because it's impossible without leaving someone out. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You all know who you are. Thank you for coloring my world so beautifully. You are all loved.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Get off the Christian crack...

2011-11-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Something really good is getting ready to happen for me. I feel it!

I've worked for this for a long time. And I'll keep working whether it happens today or many days from now. Whether two weeks or two years or twenty years. I will work in the good times and bad, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health...yeah, you are starting to get the picture -- I'm married to this thing. Or at least it feels like it a lot of the time. :)

I'm faithful to it whether anyone's watching, whether anyone else cares.

I've learned that what you desire most isn't going to happen without a ridiculous amount of faithfulness to a level much further than most people are comfortable with or can even fathom.

I've noticed a lot of Christians think their dreams are going to be realized even if they lack integrity or faithfulness as long as they have passion and pray hard enough.

I'm a intercessor too, but I'm not on crack. Really, it's like being on Christian crack to think you're going to have all of heaven open up over your life because you want it so bad or even pray about it so much, but neglect the call to be faithful with what's in your hand TODAY.

Do you use this lame excuse?

2011-11-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

A rightly focused life consists of fulfilling the expectations that we have formed ourselves based upon what God has spoken to us.

I often hear people speak of doing only what they can actually do and not worrying about what others expect them to do. I agree. But what happens once you've already agreed to something? Does character and integrity not demand that you fulfill it?

We are not responsible for others expectations that we have never invited, initiated nor agreed to.

We are, however, responsible to fulfill an expectation when we initiate or consent to it.

For instance, part of getting married is making a covenant to fidelity. What would it be like if your spouse later said, "I didn't meet your expectations in being faithful to you but I can only do what I can do..."

Let's say you apply for a job and before accepting the position they say, "this job is 40 hours a week." So you come in the first week and work for 35 hours. The following week you work 15, and the next week you work 30. If they haven't fired you already, you speak up and say, "I know I haven't been working 40 hours. I've come for whatever time I can, but you'll just have to understand that I can't fulfill all your expectations." That would be inappropriate and grounds for someone to fire you.

Most people would agree that this sounds kind of crazy, however people behave this way all time time.

Consider many of the people I coach. They willingly come into the coaching relationship. If they are in my life coaching group they sign a contract before we start. If they are someone I career coach through my job they sign what's called an engagement agreement with the company. Then when I start with them, in our first session we develop a set of expectations based upon what the client is interested in accomplishing.

All of this is an agreement on their part to participate.

Many times they slack off to varying degrees. Some don't show up for their session. Some drop out altogether, others complete only a portion of the work. Some communicate, others say nothing at all. Many times they just blithely say they are sorry they couldn't meet expectations.

I will never cease to be puzzled.

When others place expectations on us that we never invited nor agreed to, it is unwelcome and inappropriate.

When we initiate expectations and readily agree to them and then don't fulfill what we agreed to, it's not a case of personal boundary setting/ keeping nor using wisdom, it's a lack of integrity.

As far as Christians go, it gets old hearing people labeling a lack of integrity as "being led of the Lord in what to accomplish." Once you've agreed to something it's no longer a matter of being spirit led.

That might sound good and grant you time for some extra naps. But it's just spiritual gobbledygook. At the point of your agreement to do something the issue of expectations transcends to a place that simply reveals whether you're either a person of your word or you're not.

Character is very much a part of this issue although people would like to think it's just about hearing from God or boundaries.

How these people act says a lot about YOU!

2011-11-21T09:00:00.005-05:00

Jacinda* was a woman we pastored years ago who decided to start a home group, without our blessing. It was only without our blessing because of her character. There were several other church sponsored home groups going that were quite successful, led by Godly leaders. I won't go into all of Jacinda's issues - it would take an entire blog series so we'll just leave it that she had serious issues.

Jacinda claimed to be an intercessor. She would talk about how close she was to the Lord, and said that God had called her to mentor the women of the church.

So if this was the case, why did the women she took under her wing seem to get worse?

After beginning to attend her group they would come to church less, not more.
When they did come to church their attitudes were not the same!
The more they went to her home, the more they pulled away from the pastors - becoming distant, and awkward in conversation when they would see them.
The longer they hung out with Jacinda, there was less and less of the fruit of the spirit in their lives.
They started to move away from the basics of our faith, almost thinking them to be irrelevant, while they focused on extra-biblical (flaky) things.
Rather than getting behind the pastor's vision for the church, they seemed to gravitate to whatever Jacinda had in mind

If you are a believer and you lead a group that you say is designed to grow others in Christ or help them in some way, keep in mind it should only:

Increase Godly attitudes
Produce more fruit of the spirit
Increase wisdom in people, not flakiness
Result in the people you lead coming to church more, not less
Encourage them in having greater respect for their pastors, not less

If these things aren't happening, examine closely what you are doing, for you may not be led of God at all and could be leading people to destruction and not Godly destiny.

We're quite a number of years removed from that pastorate now but as I look back on the fruit of Jacinda's efforts, it's sad. Most of the women she invested in aren't serving God now.

We give thanks

2011-11-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm grateful for what goes on at Celebration each and every week.

So thankful that lives are being changed around the altars, and around the clock, really!

Filled with gratitude to be a part of it.

Yesterday the staff of our Recovery Service (also called "Hopetown") served a Thanksgiving dinner to 104 people and gave 28 families "Boxes of Hope" -- everything to make Thanksgiving dinner this Thursday. We are so grateful to all of the people within our congregation who make this happen each and every week. It's not just at Thanksgiving but all the time that they do this.

Today is our Thanksgiving Dinner for the Celebration Church family. One of my favorite days of the year -- not just because it's an amazing dinner, but because we have praise and worship and testimonies. The time of sharing is always really special.

Nothin' like a little (or a lotta!) holy matrimony!

2011-11-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

I love weddings!

Today we're blessed to attend the wedding of Kaleb Conley and Haley Jo Honeycutt. Kaleb is the son of our dear long-time friends, Pastors Keith and Joy Conley, lead pastors of Harvest Assembly of God in Lakeland, Florida.

We are thrilled for this beautiful couple and pray many wonderful years for them as they love and serve God and each other.

Take some time today to pray for the marriages of those you are in relationship with in your family, group of friends, and church. Marriage wasn't started in the world or by our legal system -- it was ordained by God and starts in His holy Word. Something started by God is under assault like never before, today. There are those who seek to re-define something that has already been clearly defined by God all throughout His Word..

Join me in a prayer today for Kaleb and Haley, for all marriage and for the protection of the institution of marriage across our land.

We have a winner!

2011-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

The winner of this week's book giveaway is Leanne Weber of Duluth, Minnesota!!

Congratulations, Leanne! The book, Autumn Song by Martha Rogers will be in your mailbox shortly. It will be coming straight from Charisma House, so be on the lookout for it. Thanks to all who commented on the blog this past week and entered the contest and thanks to Charisma for providing the book.

In case you are wondering how the winner is determined, I type all the names into this site and it randomly selects the winner.

We will be having more contests in the future, so stay tuned and keep reading -- you never know what we're going to give away next.

Have a great Friday, everyone!

Why some people see their dreams come true and others don't

2011-11-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a keen analyst, obsessed with watching people and learning from them both good and bad.

A lot of my dreams have come true, although some have yet to be realized. I believe as long as we're alive we should have dreams.

I see a pattern in those who never realize their dreams. I have no statistical data on this, it's just something I've gathered through everyday observation. Those who haven't experienced the fulfillment of dreams are typically those who insist on taking the most convenient route all the time. They are the queens of store-bought cakes. Again and again they select whatever is easiest and won't require them to do anything extra or go out of their way.

Observing this is the main reason I've tried to take the road less traveled most often on my life's journey.

People need to stop showering together

2011-11-16T09:00:00.002-05:00

Unless you're with your husband or wife, of course.

I've been saying this for years.

And now this Penn State scandal is just one more incident that I refer to in underscoring why people need to have their own shower. Really, isn't this just a guideline for basic decency?

When bringing up this issue before I've been told by many adults that I highly respect that kids taking group showers after school gym classes is simply a rite of passage as well as sports teams or soldiers in the military, etc.. I don't care when or where it is -- it's inappropriate.

Not only are group showers a perfect opportunity for sexual abuse by predators like Jerry Sandusky, they also create an atmosphere that hinders the building of self worth.

Group showers are a vivid memory from middle school. Not skinny but not really overweight either. Not over or under developed. Just average. Still, there were two days of the week I absolutely dreaded -- the days I had to strip down to nothing and stand in a shower with anywhere from 20-30 of my female classmates. All of us were totally nude with nothing but a small white hand towel that covered absolutely nothing to speak of. You couldn't cover both private areas at once, so you took your pick of what to cover. Then you raced through the shower, speed dried and dressed which ironically resulted in feeling sweatier than when you started out. The whole thing was really counterproductive.

There was a rule, if you were menstruating, you could ask the gym teacher for a private shower. There were only 3 or 4 of those and a lot of times girls would just lie and say they had their period to get the private shower.   I never lied about it...because as much as I hated the group shower I just didn't think it was right. But I went on hating those two days of the week. It didn't matter what we were doing in gym class, I never looked forward to it because I knew what followed it.

I didn't hate my body. I just didn't want to get naked in front of a bunch of people.

I don't have the perfect body today, but I'm really comfortable in my own skin. For the purpose of making my point in this post I'll tell you that if nobody's home or it's just Larry, I have no problem being naked. Sometimes my husband tells me, "Um, Deanna, before you go out to the kitchen and get your coffee with no clothes on, please let me close the blinds so our neighbors don't see you! (smile) But if I were asked at this point in my life to strip down and take a shower with a group of my best female friends, I'd take a pass.

For some people, group showers torpedo their self worth.

For others who have healthy self worth it can simply be an experience that chips away at their dignity.

Still others such as Sandusky's victims experience a shower that shatters their innocence forever.

When, oh when is our society going to ban this ridiculous practice of taking showers with a bunch of people?   Whether you're 14 or 40, it's just not a wise thing.

The ONE thing people want to know more than anything

2011-11-15T10:02:00.000-05:00

If you're a leader it will help you to come to grips with the question that is weighing on most people's mind about anything:

"How is this going to affect me?"

That's what they wonder.

How well you can address that question as early and as clearly as possible makes the difference in how well any transition will go, large or small.

Incidentally, if you ARE the leader, you also have this question on your mind. Anytime a follower makes a shift, you wonder, "how is this going to affect me?" The only difference is, you're the one who has the responsibility of solving or fixing whatever may occur as a result of whatever it is that they do, or don't do.

Everybody has the same question, the only difference is one person has a different level of responsibility.

This Week's Giveaway: Autumn Song by Martha Rogers

2011-11-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

This week brings yet another book here on the blog! All you have to do to enter is comment anytime today through Thursday on this week's posts here at deannashrodes.net, or on my facebook page when it publishes there. Each time you comment, your name is added again to the drawing.

This week's giveaway is a fiction book, Autumn Song by Martha Rogers. The book has been provided by Charisma House (www.charismahouse.com).

Here's a little about the book and it's author:

Why does everyone think a girl’s only lot in life is to find a husband and settle down?

Kathleen Muldoon is twenty-three and tired of ranch living. Fiercely independent and determined to become a nurse, she has left her family’s ranch to study medicine under Old Doc Jensen and live in town with her Aunt Mae, who runs a boardinghouse.

Daniel Monroe has just arrived in Porterfield to set up his law practice. Sparks fly when he is introduced to Kate at the boardinghouse, but the initial attraction quickly dissolves into an argument—the first of many. Daniel is enamored with Kate but uncomfortable with her independent spirit and dreams of becoming a nurse.

When trouble erupts between the ranchers and lumberjacks over timber rights, Kate is furious to learn that Daniel has worked out an agreement she believes will destroy her father’s land. Can they overcome their pride and help each other become everything God wants them to be?

Set in the late 1800s, the Seasons of the Heart series follows the lives of four women and their families, weaving together their stories of faith, life, and love as they bond in friendship only God could orchestrate.

Martha Rogers is the author of Becoming Lucy; Morning for Dove; Finding Becky; Caroline’s Choice; Not on the Menu, a part of a novella collection with DiAnn Mills, Janice Thompson, and Kathleen Y’Barbo; and River Walk Christmas, a novella collection with Beth Goddard, Lynette Sowell, and Kathleen Y’Barbo. A former schoolteacher and English instructor, she has a master’s degree in education and lives with her husband in Houston, Texas.

Happy commenting!

A powerful prayer

2011-11-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

Incredible video of Nebraska RB coach Ron Brown praying with Nebraska and Penn State players yesterday in front of 110,000 fans at Penn State University.

Creating is good

2011-11-12T09:00:00.001-05:00

We have a winner!

2011-11-11T09:54:00.000-05:00

The winner of this week's book giveaway is Terri Von Wood of Sarasota, Florida!

Congratulations, Terri! The book Tired of Being Sick and Tired by Dr. Michael Berglund will be in your mailbox very soon, so be looking.

Thanks to all who commented this past week here on the blog and on facebook when the blog published there. And thanks to Charisma House for providing the book.

On Monday we will feature a new book giveaway here on the blog. It will be a fiction book, and once again each time you comment your name will be entered in the drawing. For those who may be wondering how the drawing works, after Thursday at midnight, I type all of the names into this site, (as many times as each person has commented) and then click fruit machine or typewriter which randomly selects the winner.

Next week is a brand new opportunity to win!