tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34244281.post7256788680633487429..comments2023-10-25T05:38:29.800-04:00Comments on Deanna Doss Shrodes: Your church is so great compared to our last oneDr. Deanna DossShrodeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06651422170585497480noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34244281.post-62006496972592351132007-07-19T14:06:00.000-04:002007-07-19T14:06:00.000-04:00Yup...with 62+ churches to pick from in the commun...Yup...with 62+ churches to pick from in the community I serve (not to mention a ton more in the surrounding areas!), it would be pretty foolish to get a fat head from this "counterfeit praise." I also tend to distrust people who (since I've only been here a year!) say, "I like you better than the last CP because of x, y, or z..." They're still in the honeymoon phase with me, and one of these days I'm going to make a call that they don't like (discipline their kid; hold Christmas play practice on a day that they don't like; whatever!!), and then they'll start storing up their beefs with me and unload them on the next person who comes along, should I be called away from here someday...<BR/><BR/>As far as the comment about the type of car the pastor drives, I totally agree. When I went into the ministry, I told my mom, "Well, I guess that means I'm going to be dirt poor!" She said, "Don't say that...God can bless pastors just as well as He can bless anyone else!" It is also our responsibility as church members to be obedient to God's word and trust the leadership of the church to manage the tithe money that we owe God. If they're mishandling it, God will judge THEM, not the ones who obediently gave!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34244281.post-82374373281543532412007-07-19T11:13:00.000-04:002007-07-19T11:13:00.000-04:00I believe you make some valid points, but let me s...I believe you make some valid points, but let me say that I believe when problems happen in a church the main reason God shows you things is to pray. (I once read a quote by Oswald Chambers where he said something like that - God shows us things not always to act on them, and certainly not to gossip about them - but to always intercede. God has a way of taking care of things if they are wrong.)<BR/><BR/>Do I believe pastors and spouses should be fighting in public? Do I believe they should gossip? Certainly not. But consider...<BR/><BR/>In the case of the pastor and wife with problems - I have seen this kind of thing many times before and what those people need are not those who will judge them, ask them to resign, or have their church members leave on them. What they need are those who will see that pastors have problems sometimes too, and knowing such,try to get them the help they need and pray for them. I also don't believe the pastor has an obligation to get up and disclose everything happening in his personal life. If his wife left, and he thought they had a temporary blow up and she would return in a few days or a week to two, I don't believe the pastor had an obligation to immediately tell the church his wife had left. I think most married couples have had a fight where one has left at least a few hours or overnight. I know I have. And we worked it out. There was no need for the church to know we had a fight and the next morning one of us came back. I believe the best thing that church could have done when they noticed a problem is to get some counseling for their pastor, specifically in sending them for a week or two to a place for pastors (like Emerge Ministries in Ohio) that could help them. Too many people think the pastor is immune to these type of struggles like they have in their lives but the truth is, they are on the front lines and are susceptible to enemy attack more than anyone. Why didn't the people reach out and say, "Pastor, we've noticed some tension here and we love and care about you and your wife and we want to do all we can to help you..." ?<BR/><BR/>I also believe different churches have ways of doing things based on their mission, vision and values. This is usually set by the spiritual leader (the man and woman of the house that God has placed there as senior pastors). It shouldn't just be "anything goes" at a church. A friend of mine pastors a church where just a few months ago, a few ladies descended upon the church seemingly overnight from another church, came in and started to worship and during the praise/worship time they marched up and down the aisles with flags. This was simply not how this church or it's pastors do things. I'm not saying it's wrong at another church, but it simply wasn't the vision of that house. My friend and her spouse met with them and told them it was simply not the direction their church was headed, their mission, vision, etc. and that they probably would be more comfortable in a different place of worship, but to please respect the wishes of the leadership there and the way they do things. I do not have a problem with that at all. I myself am a very demonstrative worshipper. I jump up and down in church and shout, and have been known to take a run around the sanctuary if a healing like that or something occurs. But I would never do that in some of my friend's churches out of respect realizing that it is not how they do things there, and out of respect for them, I don't. I do not believe pastors should just accept anything as acceptable behavior that walks in the door. Every church has it's culture and ways of doing things and that's what makes the body of Christ unique and also the reason there are different churches to select from, to find a place we all fit best, root there, and bloom where we are planted.<BR/><BR/>Re: the tithing. I don't believe mine or my husband's salary has a thing to do with the needs of the church or whether people should give/not give. Honestly, we make a very good salary and up until the time my son had a car accident in my car a few months ago, I drove a Mustang Convertible. When my husband or I or one of our staff gets up to take the offering and makes the church aware of the need that our air conditioner needs to be replaced in the fellowship hall or we are doing a new remodeling project and we ask everyone to be faithful and give I don't think it should matter where I live or what kind of car I drive. I believe pastors should be well taken care of, and thank God everyday our church loves and cares for us where mine and Larry's minds can be on the work of the Lord, and caring for the people and not worried about how our next bill is going to be paid. We are so blessed. I don't think it's a sin to live in a nice house. My house right now appraises at $340,000. I didn't pay that for it, (home values have skyrocketed here over the last five years) however, that's beside the point. At least 80% of our congregation live in the same type of house I do, and many beyond what I currently live in. I would think it a blessing that a church would make it possible for a pastor who loves and cares for them so much to live in a $450,000 house. Should someone think twice about giving to our next financial need because I drive a Mustang and live in a house worth $340,000? I don't think so...I look at the two as apples and oranges and completely irrelevant. You don't tithe or give based on what your pastors receives or doesn't receive. You tithe and give because it's a scriptural command. And the fact is, churches always have needs and what is so wrong with bringing it before the people? No, not tell them they are catching hell as you say, for not giving, but letting them know there is a need and we need everyone to step up and give...<BR/><BR/>But maybe we just have to agree to disagree. <BR/><BR/>I agree there are sometimes moral issues and unresolved things where people feel led to leave and should. If my pastor was involved in proven sexual sin, financial impropriety or heresy and it was not confronted or resolved, I would definitely leave. But I can assure you this, it would be quietly - I would not discuss it with anyone, nor would I take anyone from the church with me except my immediate family. My role at that time would be to move on quietly and find another place to plant my family and grow.Dr. Deanna DossShrodeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06651422170585497480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34244281.post-46697885486881462102007-07-19T08:21:00.000-04:002007-07-19T08:21:00.000-04:00Hi Pastor Deanna!Can I agree and disagree all at o...Hi Pastor Deanna!<BR/><BR/>Can I agree and disagree all at once?<BR/><BR/>I think the vast majority of people who church-(s)hop should be questioned like you suggest. They're malcontent and looking to be served, and will move on when your church doesn't suit their needs also. <BR/><BR/>Yet for most of the examples you've given, I can relate firsthand knowledge of stuff <B>really</B> happening. For example ... the one that says, "We're here because we're hurt that the staff in our previous church just didn't handle things right and there were personality clashes..." -- at our former church, the pastor and his wife fought constantly (in public); she even left him for a few weeks - which he kept a secret from most of the congregation; he gossiped about and spoke badly of other area pastors, church fellowships, church members, and us; and there were some pretty interesting financial circumstances happening, too (nothing that could be proven but it was enough to ask for things to be looked into carefully). It was this behavior that caused us to leave, after we attempted to resolve the issues biblically. <BR/><BR/>One of the others reference not being able to worship the way the Lord's leading... the former pastor at that same church is reputed to have said, "If you people don't worship the way <B>I</B> want you to, I'll leave!" (I've always said that if I was there when it happened, I'd have helped him through the double doors!) At a church we were a part of in the past, we just didn't feel like it was "legal" to (for example) kneel in worship, or run to the altar... nothing was said but it seemed clear that this was considered a disruption to the order of the service. <BR/><BR/>Another one you bring up is the "church always talks about tithing" thing. You are 100% right ... a tithing church should talk about tithing. I know a bunch of people who left a particular church in large part because the church always needed $ for this and that, and an impassioned plea was given weekly (implying hell for those who don't give enough) ... and the pastor drove a $60K car and lives in a $450K house. <BR/><BR/>Just some thoughts.Kathihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05653796137169365554noreply@blogger.com